BUSY...

I have been so busy this week! Getting this show up and running is really HARD!!!! We open in less than a week... if you don't hear much from me it is because I am working about 14 hours a day... I know it will be woth it... but right now it feels like I HAVE NO LIFE!!!

OK.. gotta get to work... I hope to be at home tonight by 8 PM and in bed by 10...

we'll see...

Inconceivable....

What an ironic name for a show that is about infertility AND makes absolutely no sense compared to reality...

Where is this "clinic compound"... that seems to be part RE office, part hospital, part counseling center, part adoption center, part lab, and then... part gym for apparently all women 6+ months pregnant and gay guys???

As far as the inaccuracies... there are to may to count...

No talk of betas... just a blood test and then a meeting with the dr. to tell you that you are NOT pg.... Isn't that ALWAYS a short phone call from a nurse? Don't these women know about HPT's??? They go to the (VERY EXPENSIVE) RE for a blood test IN PERSON and WAIT there for the RESULTS????

The nurse stealing the RE's sperm during a tryst??? ummm... I think he *might* notice that huge collection cup in your hand.

The receptionist that wants to suddenly adopt... with a few w-2 forms, work history, and cutting back on stuff like cable so she can afford it? Oh.. is that all you have to do????

The conversation about "what will you name your baby IF you have one" conversation from the RE to the infertiles??? Who would do that???

It seems like this is the wonderful world of infertility here... where money is no object and insurance companies pay for everything....

I counted about 5 "moving musical montages"... ummm... run out of plot?

And now a secret "procedure" that will help the infertiles that have done 3 IVF cycles.

OK.. I can't WAIT to read your reviews!!!

Leave your "inaccuracies" below to form a giant list!

Now I know why my Mom, who was an emergency room nurse, could never watch ER.

(Ok.. I am not saying I am not going to watch more episodes... it is sort of like a train wreck... I just can't turn away!!!)

Cd 14!

PEAK!

PEAK!!

PEAK!!!

PEAK!!!!

PEAK!!!!!!!!!

cd 13...

Dr. Update:
I had a 17mm follicle on cd 12!!! And several other smaller ones. YAY!!! That means I am going to "O" in the next 2-3 days!!!! I am so excited... it looks like my Met is finally starting to kick in and work. Dr. A.H. was very chipper and seemed to be surprised that I was actually going to "O". He ordered a progesterone test for Monday because he said we should see a significant increase by then (pg or not) just because of ovulation. He said that if the numbers were very low it would indicate no ovulation and that the folly was reabsorbed (but he said that is VERY rare), moderately low numbers would indicate the need to start the supplements again in the luteal phase, and if they seem normal we will just wait out the 2ww. We were told to have sex every day for the next 3 days... that will make it 4 days in a row cd 12-16... lucky Mr. D... Dr.'s orders...

Also I have lost 6 pounds in the last 3 weeks according to the dr. scale... (my scale says 4...) So.. that is also exciting news... and another sign that the Met is finally starting to work.

This AM I woke up to my alarm at 6:45 to work out and Mr. D. was gone... GONE??? I searched the whole house and then heard the garage door open... He couldn't sleep and so he went to the store and bought us tons of yummy breakfast fixins! While I worked out he cooked a beautiful feast of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon.. there were even donuts although I pass ed on the donuts. It was like a weekend morning!!! Much better than the protein bar or shake that I usually force down on the drive to work! The protein shake will have to wait for lunch!

I hope you all have a great day! Pray for Texas... hurricane Rita is bearing down on the gulf and people are evacuating... I imagine my area will have a lot more visitors this weekend and Dallas still has evacuees from Katrina.

cd 12..

Today is cd 12. I just got my third HIGH in a row on the MM. I am a little nervous that I am having the same problem as last month where the MM got stuck on HIGH and never PEAKED.

Today I will see Dr. Asshole for the monitoring that he promised. Hopefully I will see some big fat follicles that look tall and healthy and ready to pop. I am pretty nervous and I am afraid that I will see short stubby follicles (aka CYSTS). I will also ask why my cycle was so short last month. OH... Dr. AH wanted to see me on cd 13... but when I called the nurse said that he "only does procedures on Wednesdays..." but I know that is a LIE. I would bet a million $$$ that if I was an IFV patient spending $12,000 at his TTC crackhouse that he would have seen me on cd 13.

I have a loong day at work... but I will try to post what we find out ASAP.

Help my Sweet Potato!

Hey.. I am trying to help my Sweet Potato get to all 50 states!

Can you girls help????
http://www.passthepotato.com/potato-1.php?potatoid=050916200038-688475

(Stupid I know... but I am bored!!!)

hee hee hee...

(Post here too.. a great way to see who is lurking and where you all live!!!)

Help my little Sweetie!!!

Crush...

Yesterday I got another email from Classmates.com... it was from a guy named Brian that I really liked my sophomore year... He was a year younger than me but really tall and cute... I asked him to be my date for my big sweet 16 party that year and he ignored me the whole night and didn't even kiss me... I was so disappointed... I tried to talk to him at school the next week but he was so aloof and cool that I just gave up.. deciding that he must not like me. I vowed only to date older guys from then on!

Soooo I get an email yesterday that said "Just wondering if you remember me?".. I did... so responded and this is the email that I got...

hey jamie...
cool that you responded...
yes I was your sweet sixteen date, glad you remembered.
I was thinking back on high school and you are definetly a huge memory for me.
i met you at In-n-Out after the green and white game before my freshman year. You knew a friend of mine Darren Sheldon, through his sister who was a cheerleader who graduated the year before.
If I remember right you drove a hyundai and offered to take us home...
Darren didnt stop talking about you, I think you two had Mrs.Fletcher for french and I guess that is how you and I eventually started talking...
I went to your party and was nervous as hell....
you were so pretty and I was so damn scared...
I had never danced with a girl before and here I was with you, you were a majorette, yes?
I watched you at rally's and games....
a few of the "older" guys (i was 14, so 16 seemed way older) told me i should kiss you at the party...now with never having danced with a girl you can imagine how much experience I had in the other area...
after I left I felt so bad for not being a better date, i remember spending the rest of the year embarrased...
so have i creeped you out?
I didnt mean too...
you are a very fond memory for me of my first crush in high school...

i hope you are well...I am a standup comic in new england but travel a bit.. and was just curious how you were...
I'll attach some pics...but you can go to my website and see where I am playing..
write back if this didnt seem too psycho...
talk soon,
brian

I am sure that he might be looking for a hook up and may not write back much more once I tell him I am happily married in Texas...

but it is nice to be 16 forever in a random guy's eyes....

CD 6...

I have been quiet for a few days... Here are the quick highlights...

1. My allergies are killing me.. I can sleep at night because I can't breathe... Today I will buy ANOTHER box of kleenex and yet ANOTHER OTC allergy med to try...

2. AF was a bitch this month... REALLY HEAVY. (tmi- I had to throw away 2 pair of ruined panties... and that NEVER happens... even with my m/c's) Is this another lovely symptom of met?

3. I have had the normal AF slump in the month... you know the one where all the assvice pops into you head and you feel like you are never going to have a baby...
"Maybe you are not meant to have children"
"Maybe you need to adopt"
"Maybe you are so bitter that your ovaries are all shriveled up..."
...You know all the normal stuff...

4. It had been a rough week at school... We have over 40 Katrina evacuees and all the pain in the world is really starting to show on the kids... everyone just seems beat down and tired. We also had a student suicide this week (I didn't know the student) and that always effects the students as a whole. I also lost a cast member in the musical because of fighting... she is now at alternative school. This stuff never happens... It has just been a really tough week.

5. My boss has been in charge of a huge multi-million dollar renovation in our auditorium and has fucked up a ton of stuff... We have some amazing new equipment... but his ineptness is causing mucho confusion... It is just another stupid thing that is causing me more hearaches at work.

6. Mr. D's show THE FANTASTICS opens this weekend... so that is exciting.. and once it opens I will have my hubby back... except the nights he has shows... so I am looking forward to that.

7. I have a huge weekend planned at school... we have TWO field trip planned... (What is WRONG with me???) One Saturday there is an acting conference where the kids will go to 3 acting/ directing/ tech theatre workshops for free... I have about 25 going to that. The second is on Sunday when we are taking a group to see Mr. D's show. It will be fun... but a lot of organization and work! I wish I was going to have a "day off"... but I planned it all so I can't blame anyone but myself.

OK... so you are caught up... Gotta run so I am not late for work... Ugggghhh.

wh-wh-what????

CD 1...

Anyone else find that weird??? Yes... I woke up this morning thinking it was cd 26 and that I had 4 more days to wait before I started testing for possible pregnancy and BAM... AF arrived with a vengeance. So that is a 25 day cycle folks. WHAT THE FUCK????

I called the nurse at Dr. A.H.'s office... she thought that it is probably a side effect of increasing my Met to 2000 mg a day back in July... The Met is probably making my cycles shorter... that is good... right???Before my m/c's my cycle was about 30 days... after it ranged from 33-36 days... But the last 3 months have been strange...
June - July - 36 days
July- August - 28 days
August - September - 25 days

Do any of you Met-heads have any advice? Its it OK to have a 25 day cycle??? (I think I "o"ed around cd 13.... IF I "o"ed...) I wll go to see Dr. A.H. for monitoring in 13 days... I guess we will find out then if the cysts are back.

So... No May baby for me... for the third May in a row.

Do I have the BEST husband or what???

Cut this picture out of a Pottery Barn catalogue this morning to show Mr. D. before I went to work...

Came home from work to all this in our dining room!!!!

It may be 100 degrees out... but autumn has arrived in my dining room thanks to my amazing hubby...

How do you think he did???

Something to be proud of...

Teenagers can make a difference... In addition to collecting money, clothing, and a truck full of supplies for the Katrina Relief Effort the high school students at my school are doing some really outstanding things...

This was sent across email at my school on Wednesday from a teacher to the football coaches and then out to the entire faculty...

"Please pass this on to your coaches for me- In first period I got my first student who is a refugee from New Orleans- I want you to know that it was two of your ( our) football players that took him under their wing to escort him to his second and third period classes- Mao L. approached the new student- ( a very small frame young man) and extended his hand and they shook hands and Mao said "Welcome- we will take care of you don't worry! Mao then said-"I have keyboard with you next period- come with me". Demarcus C. came over and did the same- he said " we have math class together third period- I will come and get you from your second period class and take you to our math class so you won't get lost".Then the bell rang and both Mao and Demarcus walked out with this young man, half their size, and walked down the hall with him in between them telling him "you are at the best school ever- Don't worry we will take care of you!"Tears rolled down my face I was so proud."

By Friday the story had traveled this far...

THS IN THE NEWS
Laura Bush was interviewed on CNN today. She relayed the story of a high school in Texas which had relief students enrolled and two of the football players welcomed a young man and offered to walk him to his classes. So our story has traveled far. THS is a great family.

Just wanted to share with you... When given the opportunity high school students can be just AMAZING... This story helps me remember why I work with high school kids...

Please help in any way you can.

The Highs and Lows...

High and low points from today's doctor visit...

HIGH - The nurses all know me and are always really sweet and greet me like I am their long lost sister... sort of like used car salesmen do.

LOW - weighing on the doctor scale.. a full 3 pounds heavier than mine at home and mine said a whopping 156 today.

LOW - Dr. Asshole looked at my chart and said "hmmm... this is strange... what happened in June?" You mean you don't remember me leaving your fucking office sobbing????

HIGH - Dr. gave me another prescription for Met... So I don't "have to see him (or any other doctor for 5 months... (yeah right..)

HIGH - Talking to Dr. A. about the sucky infertility non-coverage that I have... He chatted about how much insurance sucks for a good 10 minutes... made him seem much more human...

HIGH - Dr. A. ordered all the bloodwork I wanted done...

LOW - When he PINCHED ME you-know-where with that stupid speculum!

HIGH - He said he didn't feel any big cysts...

LOW - With PCOS I wouldn't have big cysts... I would have lots of little ones... He said it was possible that I "probably" had small ones... but didn't feel a u/s was necessary.

LOW - When he said he is not convinced that I am ovulating... why??? The OPK's and now the trouble with the MM...

LOW/HIGH - When he told me to quit using the progesterone supplements... He feels that they are making my cycle to long and would rather me start them after I do a blood draw immediately following a BFP. Low... what if I really NEED them to get through the first 2 weeks of pregnancy??? High - no more gooey panties, headaches, fatigue, and fake pregnancy symptoms, and long periods waiting for AF...

PEAK - When he agreed with me that we still have never come to a conclusion by ultrasound that I am not ovulating. He said to call on the first day of my period and we would monitor on cd 13 and try to really see what is going on and we would code it as PCOS related and not infertility... I am actually considering taking him up on this offer... even though his name IS Dr. Asshole and I have "fired" him about four times....

So.. What do you think???

For Em and Sheryl who left comments on my last entry... I had a really hard time starting Met (you can read my back blogs starting April 25... it was quite a saga...) Once I got up to over 1000 mg a day I was really miserable... I didn't have much of the bowel issues... just EXTREME nausea and fatigue... After about a month I finally found out on line about Met ER (extended release).... My nausea cleared up almost immediately and now I am taking 2000 mg every night before I go to bed and it rarely bothers me... unless I over eat carbs. (I also take 150 mg of Zantac each day to help with the terrible heartburn I was having... and that really helped. I have not lost weight on Met... in fact I have gained... I am not sure why... except that my body tends to do the opposite of what everyone else's does... I found www.soulcysters.com to be a huge help for info on what to expect on Met. Hope this helps and answers some of your questions... Good Luck!

OK... I think this is a conspiracy...

I don't think God wants me to know if or when I ovulate.... Let's see... I've tried OPK"s, 3 rounds of monitoring gone wrong,... and now... My MM is fucked up. I think Alisa's comment yesterday was right... I think the MM must be screwed up for the month due to too much or to little pee on one or more days lately... Sara over at BABY OR BUST wrote about the phenomenon once... HOLY SHIT... Can't I even PEE right????? So... I am gonna to pretend that since I got my first HIGH on cd 12 then IF I "o"ed it was probably/ possibly/ maybe on cd 14... We had TTCSex on cd 13,14, &15... So... maybe... MAYBE I caught the surge.

I was wrong about my dr. Asshole appt. yesterday... it is TODAY... I actually realized it before I went to the office which is good but after I shaved myself to silky smoothness which is bad... So today he will see more razor burn than anything else... I will try to scam and ultra sound out of him to see if there are any follicles or cysts hanging around... my belly has been SUPER bloated for the last couple of days so I am a little concerned about more cysts...

My goals at DR. A's today are:
1. Annual visit... pap breast exam etc...

2. Refill of prescription of Metformin at possibly upping dosage to 2500 mg a day

3. Refill of progesterone oral meds that he has me take vaginally... this is a new experimental way to get the progesterone... not sure how I feel about it... but I do need a refill.

4. A complete blood work up to see what the Met is doing to me... if anything... I haven't lost ANY weight which is the #1side effect... FUCK... of all the best side effects to have WHY CAN'T I HAVE THIS ONE???????

5. A u/s to check for cysts... and possible unknown magic pregnancy... maybe I am one of those women who are 8 months pg with twin and never gained any weight or skipped a period... It does happen sometimes!!!!...(hahahaha... I crack myself up!)

I'll let you know how the appointment goes...