very sad...

7:00 am... fmu.
Not pregnant.
13 dpIUI.

Not much more to say.

cd 27

Today I am either 10 or 11 dpo. I have honestly not felt the urge to test and will probably wait until Sunday or Monday. I have 1 pregnancy test in the house and so far it is not even calling my name... and I have no plans to buy more... unless I test and get a positive... then... I will probably by 100 more and test every 3-5 minutes.

Saw the nurse on Tuesday for a progesterone blood draw and it was 58... so that is very good since over 10 means you ovulated. I told the nurse about my sore cervix/ insides and she said it is probably not my cervix but my ovaries that are probably sore from all the hard work they did this month. It has mostly eased up now... and always just felt like muscle soreness or bruising... but way way deep inside.

As far as symptoms... nothing really. I have felt extremely tired since I got the hcg shot and that has not changed. I am bloated... but that is expected with progesterone and a thick lining... Other than that all is normal... no sore boobs... not peeing a lot... So we'll see.... Oh yeah... I am still fighting this major hunger... stupid hormones!

I am still working out... but the scale is moving up a little... so I don't think I will be out of the 150's this week. I have been eating like crap so that doesn't help... but I have still been to the gym every day and I feel great about the commitment I have made to doing that.

Big plans this weekend include shopping! I have some savings card for The Loft so I will go and see how close I am to squeezing into a size 8 pant. I also need to pick up some makeup (my face is like a pizza right now... thanks hormones!) and I am thinking about picking up some Crocs... I know they are hideously ugly... but I tried on a friends and they were soooo comfy... the perfect "after school" directing shoe... I think I want yellow or lavender... but I am not sure. I also have to shop for a ton of props for our upcoming show... I hate shopping for props on my weekend... but since I am at the gym each day during my conference period... I guess it is the only time I can do it. I also plan to color my greys... workout for an hour on Saturday and Sunday... do a yoga class on Sunday (after working out)... sleep A LOT, and maybe... get a massage... maybe... but I might skip it to work in more sleeping time.

My next 2 weeks are going to be intense getting this show opened... So posts may be slim...

BUT... if and when I test... you will be the first to know.

cd 22

Not a lot to report. Still feeling a bit "full" in the tummy. The soreness is almost gone but every once in a while I feel a little twinge like a pulled muscle very low and deep inside.

I am still working out 5-6 times a week so that is making me feel great... hopefully late this week (if I control my eating better!) I will say goodbye to the 150's. But... it is hard because my appetite has been in full gear!

I had a really fun girl's night party at my house on Friday so that was fun... we caught up on gossip... payed our favorite competitive game of Mexican Train Domino's... which we started to fight off boredom during the looooong tech rehearsals for the show I did in the summer. My bff got to come and join in so that was fun... and we ate a lot of food!!! BAD food like homemade chicken pot pie and fried cheddar cakes.. and chips and dips.. and chocolate cake and ice cream (REAL ice cream!!!)... oh yeah... and I think there was a salad in there somewhere... Then around 1am we all headed for bed... One girl stayed the night... and we had more time in the AM to gab even more. It was really fun!

Yesterday was a long (and painful) with my students for an upcoming show at school. We are definitely at the "long and painful" stage of rehearsals... and we need to get out of that stage FAST! Today I have auditions for the professional show I am directing for Christmas at the big regional children's playhouse that I directed at before... The show is a new version of Frosty the Snowman... so if you have and fond memories and warm fuzzies about that story let me know.. it has never really been a favorite of mine... but maybe it will be after this process! The show starts rehearsals in November and opens the day after Thanksgiving... so hopefully if I am lucky enough to get knocked up this month it will be an uneventful and sick-less first trimester.. because I am about to be really swamped!

That is it for today! Hope everyone is doing well! I'll keep you posted.

I plan to wait to do an hpt until cd 30... which would be 14 dpo... do you think I can make it another 8 days without peeing on a stick????

cd 20...

Is it normal that 4 days after the IUI I still feel bloated and a tiny bit sore? Not to be gross... but it feels like I am constipated or swallowed a bunch of rocks... but I am not constipated and as far as I know I haven't eaten any rocks.

Ever since the hcg shot I have been super hungry... is this normal? I have had hcg shots before and I don't remember feeling this way... but.. I wasn't dieting when I triggered before... so maybe I ate more and didn't notice it??? Also peeing more... or am I just drinking more water since I am dieting??? It is hard to know what is real and what my body is doing because of the hcg.

I am not taking my progesterone yet... The nurse asked me to wait until Tuesday morning when they draw blood because she wants to see what my progesterone is doing on its own. We will draw blood that morning and I will immediately start the lovely little yellow bullets of slime! Gross.

By my calculations and the help of this cool website... (OI Treatment) I think my eggs should be out of the tubes today or tomorrow (since we can "assume" I "o-ed" on Monday CD 16) and we could expect implantation in the next 4 days. I am trying to visualize a perfectly fertilized egg (or two) floating out of the tubes and implanting in my fluffy cotton candy lining. I know that my chances of getting pg this cycle (even with the IUI) is about 25-30%... but I am trying really hard to stay positive and think good thoughts.

Hope is creeping in guys... please save me from myself.

cd 17...

The IUI is done. It was a painless procedure. Mr. D.'s count was 36 million... so as my bff said "that's 12 million per egg!" Mr. D. and I had fun joking around about triplets while I was upside down for 20 minutes after the procedure. About 1/2 through the upside down part I realized that I had to pee really bad (possible pressure on the bladder??) And even though my nurse assured me that I wasn't... I felt like I was peeing everything out 21 minutes after the IUI.

My doctors office is kind of strange about charging me for stuff... I can only assume the are trying to help me out... or they just forget to charge you fr stuff done on a weekend... anyway... I am very thankful for the break.

Here were my charges and not charges in case anyone is wondering about cost....
cd 2 u/s - not charged
clomid - $120
cd 11 u/s - $113
cd 15 u/s and hcg shot - not charged
cd 16 IUI and wash - $275
-----------------------------
so out of pocket that is $508
with a savings of about $$326 for the "not charges".

I did have some pretty severe cramping and general soreness last night (about 2-5 hours after the IUI. I was surprised about this since the IUI didn't really hurt. I have also been sooooo tired (the hcg in my system??) So I took and Aleve at 8 pm and was asleep by about 9.

So that is it... I am officially in the world of assisted reproduction.
Thank you all for the support... especially Jenn and Chaz.
And double especially to my online bff Jess! ILY!

cd 15... UPDATED

Saw my nurse today... I thought it would be to trigger... but the eggs aren't quite cooked yet. I have 3 dominate follies and 1 right behind (18mm, 17mm, 17mm, & 14mm). The plan now is to wait until Sunday at 11:00 to trigger and then IUI on Monday at 4pm. So it looks like we will have 3 targets for sure! So that is good news. I am still using my (sucky) opk's and if I get a natural surge before Sunday I am supposed to call the nurse at home and she will meet me up at the office to do the IUI within 24 hours of the surge (without the trigger).

School is going well... the lexapro has really made such a difference in the way I feel. I am going to the gym 6 days a week and I am working very hard to get in to shape. I have lost 7 pounds and so I am back to 152. My goal is 135... who knows... maybe by Christmas... (providing I am not pg!)

Other than that everything is fine. I will spend all day tomorrow up at school with the kids for a "build day" for our upcoming show. The day is scheduled from 10am - 10pm... but the show is abstract and minimalistic... so it may not take that long.... but there are 3 huge backdrops to paint... so who knows...

That is it for now.. I will keep you posted on the status of the big "O".
(Remember when the big "O' was something else entirely???)

Update - Sunday - I had 3 good follicles today (24mm, 22mm, & 22mm). Got my trigger today at 11:00 and tomorrow we do the IUI at 4pm... any advice? I am sort of nervous and excited at the same time! I'll post tomorrrow.

cd 11

Holy Crap. After 5 days of 100mg of clomid I went in today for my day 11 sono and blood work...

I have 15 follicles growing... FIFTEEN! Has anyone else ever had that many??? They range from 12mm -5mm. Hopefully two or three will become dominant and the others will fade away... because my doctor won't trigger me if there is more than 4 that are mature.. and then we can decide to do the IUI without the trigger, skip the IUI and just have sex, or just abstain because while we do want a baby or ever 2 babies... 4 is kind of out of the question.

So that is where we are... just waiting until Friday to see what grew...

Any suggestions?

My day 2 FSH was 5.9 and my E2 was also in the normal range...

I will post today's blood results when I get them.

I also think I am getting a yeast infection... can I use anything? Or will that kill sperm... I will call my nurse tomorrow... but if you know anything please post.

Wow... 15 follicles!