cd 10...
Ok... so here is the deal as of right now (it may change... but at least it is sort of a plan). After attending our second adoption meeting (the first was back in May) we have made a sort of a spur of the moment decision to try one more time with the fertility drugs before we get on this other adoption roller coaster.
Adoption is scary... we learned about the three needs this agency asks you to consider before starting...
1. an infant of full African American heritage.
2. an infant whose birthparent has a history of diagnosed mental illness.
3. an infant whose birthmother has a history of at least moderate drug and/or alcohol use through-out pregnancy.
We have been told that trends are a-changin... and the days of the pretty but confused pregnant 15 year old are over... what they see most of are addict moms.
We also learned that they would like us to be "open about an open adoption". Which is also scary... especially with an addict mom.
There are other agencies... but because of our older age (Mr. D. is 46...) many of the ones that the "confused pregnant teen" might go to are not open to accepting us.
International adoption is also an option... but the waits are very long and some countries have the same age restrictions as domestic adoption. China may be a 4 year wait, Russia is a very scary place to adopt plus they are 2 required trips = way more expensive, Guatemala is closed, Vietnam is closed... all are very expensive and all are long waits.
So, before we start the mostly non-refundable process we will try a couple more cycles... probably IUI's with clomid.
I have a doctors appointment on Thursday (cd 15) for my annual exam and a consultation and then we will wait again for my next cycle. I am also going to have my doctor do a full blood work up to figure out why I am so tired... I may also ask to get back on anti-anxiety/anti- depression meds.
I really thought that we were done with treatments... I really had closed that door in my mind because of what I thought my husband and I wanted to do... but sitting through a couple of adoption meetings may make you want to try again to have a biological child... all that said, the agency is great... we felt really at home there... it is just a whole 'nother roller coaster and once you get on you better be ready to ride.
So, we have the adoption info... the preliminary paperwork... the cost breakdown... and maybe if we are not pregnant by the first of the year we will be ready to ride.
I'll update after my doctor visit and tell you what he thinks... especially since I have been MIA for the last 8 months...
So... IUI's... here we go.
posted by Mrs. D. @ 8/11/2007 07:23:00 AM
18 Comments:
best of luck, jamie! i hope you have peace in whatever you decide to do... i'll be watching your blog for updates!
(just a side note, some agencies have put their vietnam programs on hold, but adoptions there are most definitely not closed... and the age restrictions are much more flexible... in fact i don't believe there are any unless the agency puts them in place... we are using Los Ninos and are very happy so far... they do not have age restrictons and there are not very many families in line so the process is much shorter... once the tax credit is factored in, the cost is too bad. http://losninos.org/vietnam.html)
anyway, good luck in whichever path you choose!!!
Good for you for making a sort of a plan. That is really a huge step and should feel like a great accomplishment. I will be doing an IUI (with injectibles) in late August/early september. Good luck to you at your DR's appointment. We have also just recently looked into foster/adoption or self. Can't wait to follow along on your journey
also just a suggestion for hte tiredness - maybe a vitamin B deficiency?
I always feel better when I have a plan, even if it isn't set in stone.
Good luck with the IUI!
Good luck Jamie. I know it is a hard decision to make but I feel sure that whatever you decide will be the best decision for you.
Also, I have a friend who is leaving in 3 days to pick up her little boy from Guatemala. So I know that Guatemala is def. not closed. You may want to check out her blog. It is listed on the left side of my blog under Adoption... her name is Terry. Might give you another perspective.
Jamie
I just want to wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. The important thing is to keep moving forward until you find a solution that feels right for you and your husband. You have been so brave and patient with every thing you have had to go through. Let us know how the dr. appt goes!
Sarah
Hi,
I'm a sometime lurker here - I have not read all of your archived posts so what I have to say may be old news - but you say you're open to advice so here goes: Before you go into more western medicine fertility treatments, are you open to less traditional, yet significantly more effective methods? I should admit up front that I have a decided anti-western-medicine bias from many previous negative experiences, so when I realized I was facing IF, I knew I'd never go that route. (FYI - I'm ttc almost 2 years, husband has MFI and I have no major problems but have history of overwork and weak health). When I learned that success rates for conventional medical fertility treatments average ~ 20% FOR YOUNG HEALTHY WOMEN and more like ~3% for women in their late thirties - not to mention the increased risk of m/c and birth defect, needless to say, I closed the door to those "options" and have focused heavily on alternative treatments. My research has lead me to the following - which I happily share with you in the that hopes you and other readers here may find it of some use.
1) Traditional Chinese Medicine - specifically "The Infertility Cure" by Dr. Randine Lewis. This book provides a lot of hope as well as many practical tips to increase your odds. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) - which combines acupuncture, herbs and diet to restore general health/balance and therefore fertility - has a success rate of ~80% - treating fertility problems of all kinds (including PCOS, POF, endo, recurrent m/c, MFI, etc, etc). I urge you to read the book and find a TCM practitioner in your area who is familiar with fertility-specific treatment. You can email Dr. Lewis's website http://www.thefertilesoul.com/ and request their referral list of TCM doctors. I spent ~ 6 months in very sporadic treatment with a respected TCM doctor in my town who was not specialized in fertility treatments - needless to say, I'm not pregnant yet. I've recently switched to the recommended doctor from the Fertile Soul referral list and the difference is amazing. She has had great success treating IF and expects us to be pg within three months of both of us following her complete treatment regimen. TCM doesn't consider that there IS such a thing as infertility - assuming both man and woman have the basic equipment. They see all illness as imbalance which they can correct with treatments that have been perfected over the past 5000 years. To me, this makes so much more sense than using "modern" methods - with a history of a few decades - to force/trick a woman's body into conceiving in a state of sub-par health- a tactic that seems likely to fail - as is born out in statistics. (If you still plan to do IUI or IVF, many studies document drastically improved outcomes using TCM to enhance those treatments)
2) The Foresight Method - http://www.foresight-preconception.org.uk/index.html - This is an organization based in the UK (where, by the way, nationalized health care means that alternative treatments are considered valuable as effective and cost saving alternatives/adjuncts to western medicine). They offer a wealth of advice on avoiding fertility-inhibiting toxins and maximizing your fertility through being sure you are not deficient in any nutrients. Both issues are addressed through the hair analysis they offer - which tells you specifically what your body needs and if toxic chemicals may be impairing your fertility (nutrient deficiency and toxic overload being very common and hugely underestimated causes of sub-fertility). In a recent reality TV show in England, which followed three IF couples to see which got pregnant first with different treatments - the couple using the Foresight method of supplementation, detox and diet beat the couple using IVF and even the couple using acupuncture (one reason why I am currently trying BOTH Foresight and TCM together). Among "infertile" couples using Foresight methods, almost 80% became pregnant - and with only a 3.4% rate of m/c vs. the overall average rate of 25% - a huge difference.
I feel like ALL "infertile" couples should explore these methods. They are far cheaper than western medical treatments, they actively improve your health while improving fertility (vs.. conventional treatments being uncomfortable, unpleasant, full of side-effects, etc), they get to the root cause of issues, and they have impressively higher success rates of healthy-outcome pregnancies. What more could you want???
(And lest you are skeptical - I'm not associated with these or selling anything. And, though these have not yet worked for me - since this is the first month I'm really getting going with all this - I feel confident that these methods are the most hopeful options out there and that even in the unlikely event that I'm not in the 80% that is "cured" by these modalities, I will at least be saving myself the pain of repeated, costly, useless IUI/IVF and will be making myself healthier in the process - for whatever the future holds...
Best of luck, however you decide to proceed...
I'm excited for you and Mr. D and your new options. I hope everything works out for you!!
Hi--so great to have a plan--even a fluid one. If you want a perspective on domestic adoption, please feel free to email me. I adopted a baby 4 1/2 months ago, domestically. I'm happy to share my experience or answer questions!
Good luck!
err...email...post a comment on my blog with your email (I won't publish it) and I'll email you back? If you want. Take care!
I've never posted before and I might not be up to date with everything, but I have to ask--about the tiredness...have you ever been checked for hypothyroidism...which can cause temporary infertility and it is very treatable.
Best of luck to you! I hope this new round will work and bring you your long awaited baby!!!
Lots of luck to you! Congrats on making a decision. Trying to avoid the assvice route, but you might want to think of looking into injectibles with the IUI instead of Clomid, since you didn't seem to do very well on it. I had a horrible time with Clomi d and aside from the nervousness of having to do shots, which actually wasn't as bad as I thought, the injectibles were a lot easier on me and I responded really well. Something to consider. Wishing you the best.
I am so happy to read this! Best of luck to you!! I can't wait to see you hold a baby in your arms, adopted or biological! Good luck!
Wishing you the best of luck. Whatever you choose will be the right thing for you and your husband.
Thank you for sharing your plans with me, a total stranger who likes to hang around your blog from time to time. The agencies really scared me with some of their questions too, but don't let them completely freak you out, there are babies out there. My friend currentlly has TWO adopted little ones, she thought she had to cast a wide net and now she's chasing after a 9 month old and a 7 month old! (and wouldn't have it any other way)
If you have the Discovery Health Channel, you might want to check out "Adoption Stories", its a cool show (just ask my Tivo).
As for your IUI and Clomid, I will keep you in my prayers and check in on your blog to see your progress. If your doctor thinks its worth the shot, it probably is...
Don't let trying get you down, every fertility blog I have ever read turns into a baby blog.
wishing you nothing but luck. i hope whatever plan you choose is a successful one!
Hi I am a lurker but wanted to say...don't be afraid of adopting. THere are MANY healthy birth mothers out there and you don't have to use an agency either. We adopted a beautiful healthy baby boy a week ago. His Birth mother was drug free, not mental illness and was just plain wonderful! Our "open" plan consists of letter and photos Unitl he is 5. Adoption is a beautiful way to make a family. Visit my blog and email if you like. I am glad you have a plan...things always seem to work out with a plan! Good luck!!!
Hello...wow reading your story is like hearing mine, crazy. I just had my third miscarriage...miscarried once on my own and had 2 D&C's. I have had tons of testing without any conclusion...now they are talking about IVF. I am starting accupuncture and we are seriously considering adoption as well but are giving it one more shot on our won. My thoughts are with you, I know the road you travel...and it is a hard one with little understanding. Best of Luck!!
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