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Thursday, August 16, 2007

cd 15...

Had my doctor visit today...

Had to wait 45 minutes in a room FULL of pregnant women and children... I mean FULL... like not enough seats FULL.

Found out that my lovely insurance wouldn't pay for my annual exam until Sept. 1... because it hadn't been a year. So... I have to go back next month and take a day off of work... I bet there are a lot of insurance scams out there because of women trying to have more than one pap smear a year. I was really angry especially since the doctor's office had sent me a postcard reminding me to come in which the swore they never sent... which... now at home I can't find.

While I was sitting on the table... naked from the waist down... I was surrounded by sonogram pictures and the sound of a chattering toddler in the next room... this is when I lost it and started crying.

When the doctor came in we talked to him about our next options... I cried the entire time. Dr.S. talked to us about IVF. He said it would cost us around $10,000. He suggested that next month we do another clomid challenge to test my FSH again... it has been 8 months since the last one... then do an IUI... and after that... well... that is where the IVF talks continued. Did I mention that I was sobbing through the whole talk? We talked about the pros and cons of both IVF and adoption... I cried. I just can't believe this is where we are.

So next cycle we start the plan... and I'll get my annual exam.

He found "a lot" of blood in my urine... who knew??? And sent that off to the lab to find out WTF. He also told be to reduce my Met from 2000 mg to 1000 mg... because I have nausea almost every morning. He also gave me a months supply of sample Lexapro... for the crying, depression, and anxiety I have been experiencing. I took the first one as soon as we got to the car.

Now I have been googling "Lexapro and pregnancy" and almost more important to me "Lexapro and weight gain". I pray that I don't have the weight gain... I swear if I see it... I will quit it immediately. I am still working out and am working way to hard to fuck it up with meds... even though I need them... I think I need them bad.

So anyone have Lexapro stories to tell...

I am not exactly ready for the IVF stories yet... but when I am... will you please share?


Blogger On The Losing Side said...

Lexapro, as with most anti-depressants or other such drugs, may cause weight gain BUT what is important to remember is the side effects listed for drugs are based on the largest dose of drug. So, weight gain or other side effects, usually only occur at the max dose. USUALLY being the keyword.

I've been on nearly every anti-depressant known to man. None caused me to gain weight (I did that fine on my own). Usually I experienced the sick feeling. Or the shakes.

I wish you the best!

4:04 AM  
Blogger Fertilize Me said...

My mother has been on lexapro for a few year now. She never gained weight got them - it helpe her with anxiety greatly and i hope it does the same for you

4:07 AM  
Blogger Me said...

Lexapro sucks. My husband was on it and it made him worse then he was before. He didn't get better until he was off it. Lexapro isn't going to help you - nor is any other anti-depressant - you are not depressed because of a chemical imbalance - you are depressed because you are sad about your situation. Embrace the feelings - deal with the feelings - you are on the path to a child - regardless of how you feel about that path.
Throw out the anti-depressants.

5:21 AM  
Blogger Matt, Jen, and Grace said...

Zoloft and counseling has helped
me deal with my depression (especially during the infertility years--3). I still take a low dose of Zoloft (50 mg) because my depression is mostly chemical. Never had any weight gain issues. Best of luck...

5:50 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I was on Lexapro for about a year and lost weight during that process. I was also on a pretty strict diet at the time (the Rosedale diet) but I really didn't feel the drug made any difference along those lines. It did make me feel less anxious and less depressed. I hope it helps you.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Dryad said...

I'm sorry you're feeling so badly at the moment. I suspect lowering your dose of Met will help immensely.

Birch and Maple

11:41 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

I have lexapro and IVF stories... I'll just share the Lexapro ones now, per your request. :)

I was on Lexapro for about a year, 4 years ago, to treat mild depression and anxiety. I did gain weight on it but I also did not exercise as frequently while I was on it so I think that contributed. My number one side effect was sleepiness. I seriously was SOOO tired. I could have slept all day and all night all of the time. I didn't realize how bad it was until I went off the medication and became "normal" again. So watch out for that and ask for something else if you notice yourself wanting to nap a lot during the day. It did work great for my anxiety though!!

4:06 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I'm on lexapro and it has helped me a lot with the infertility process. I don't know how I would have been able to handle this without it. I'm a labor and delivery nurse and I have to take care of pregnant ladies every day, I love my job but I just couldn't take it anymore, something had to give. Anyway, I started taking the lexapro over a year ago. I have gained some weight, but I'm thinking my mental health is more important now than if I put on a few pounds. It's hard to say if the weight gain is from the lexapro, because I haven't been eating right or exercising like I should. There are also the fertility drugs that are causing me to gain some of the weight. I would suggest taking it at night before you go to bed, because it will make you drowsy. A lot of people I know that have difficulty sleeping are able to sleep much better on the lexapro. I know a lot of pregnant ladies that take antidepressants, and have perfect babies in the end. My plan is to stop the lexapro cold turkey if I get pregnant, because some of the new studies are showing a few birth defects and after trying to conceive for 3 years, I don't want to take any chances.

3:15 AM  
Blogger Ollie said...

I never could get medicated help for my depression because the on-call doctor that day told me "getting pregnant is the only thing that will make me happy" (jerk) and wrote "does not need medical intervention" (big jerk) in my file. So I have zero stories to help out. But I did want to say that I am sorry you had to be there amongst all that pregnancy and babies. That just sucks.

5:22 AM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

I had the exact same thing happen with my pap smear a few years ago. Drove 30 miles to find out I was a week early.
You have been through so much...I know that considering IVF is a blow and I would love to answer any questions and share my story with you when you are ready.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Oh my, I'm so sorry about the insurance thing. Yeah, I'm sure because paps feel so damn good, women are lined up to get one a few times a year...

And I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety. I get panic attacks and my doc gives me Xanax, which I CANNOT use if pregnant. I have a friend on Lexapro and she never gained weight and is afraid to stop taking it because it has helped her so much. I hope it works for you and can give you some relief.


3:19 PM  
Blogger ntmchoice said...

A good friend of mine started Lexapro after experiencing SEVERE post-partum depression. She had always had borderline anxiety, but the hormones really hit her hard. Anyway, three months later (BIG surprise!) she found out she was pregnant again, and her dr encouraged her to continue the Lexapro through the second pregnancy. According to her, the Lexapro kept her sane and helped dramatically - she said she is once again the woman she hadn't been for years. And she gave birth to a healthy, happy baby girl after an entire pregnancy on Lexapro. She did have some weight gain and some issues with pre-term labor, but both of those could also be attributed to back-to-back pregnancies. Good luck to you and congrats for taking the step forward! And, perhaps consider counseling to help add some healthy mind-body support to the Lexapro. Infertility is so hard for us and sometimes it helps to have that extra support to get through it.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Z said...

no advice to offer on the meds situation. just wanted to stop by and give you a big internt hug. i know that really means crap but if i were close i'd give you a real one. you're in my thoughts and prayers...

7:31 PM  
Blogger Piccinigirl said...

hang in there sweetie, no matter what decisions you have to make, we're all here to listen and help.

I'm sorry that you're feeling so yucky these days. I've been there and it's not fun. Just remember to take care of yourself and know that things will be ok.


12:09 PM  
Blogger Heather W. said...

Wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. For now, I will say a prayer. Hang in there.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Bugsy said...

Oh hun - it is hard isn't it. Each step seems like another mountain and someone keeps building on the top of them all.

I know you are not ready yet for the ivf stories - but when you are, come check out my blog, read my journey and see where we are at now. As always I am here to chat to if you need to talk about any of it. Take care hun and I hope you feel better soon.

11:08 PM  
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12:45 AM  

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