How am I doing?

So I thought it was time to catch up.

Breasts - hmmmm... this is a hard question. I am pumping about 9 ounces a day and I am happy with that. Because of the adoption delay we are in now I have cut back to pumping 4 times a day... there was just no way that I can do more and have a life right now... I was starting to get depressed thinking about pumping 7 times a day through the summer (sans a baby) so I just decided that as long as I was able to get 6-8 ounces a day that would be enough to start a newborn with. I am taking only 1 or 2 domperidome a day (instead of 4) and no other herbal supplements... so I think 9 ounces a day is a pretty impressive amount and when there is a baby I will be able to up the meds if I need to and obviously nurse much more than 4 times a day... but for now this amount is manageable. I am freezing everything and have an estimated 250 ounces in my freezer so far so even if supply is low at first I think I will be fine for a while... unless the worst happens... longer delays where I have to dump some of the frozen milk... or freezer failure. The itching is still there... but is a lot less. I actually think it may be a symptom of let down (or "time to pump") symptom for me... either that or someone suggested PUPPS, the same rash pregnant women get on their belly's during pregnancy because of hormone changes... in any case... it is easing up.

Vacation - Mr. D and I have decided to go ahead and plan a vacation as if Finley will not be here this summer. We are traveling to Kansas City for 3 weeks while he is in a show at a big theatre there... so it will be hotel living for several weeks... then we will head to Nashville and Lookout Mountain for a couple of days and after that back to Seaside, Florida for a few days. We will be out of town for the entire month of July... but since we are driving everywhere our plans can be changed at a moments notice should we get "the call". All of the places we are travelling have airports and if Finn's arrival comes at a time when we are out of town then we will just boogie to wherever we have to go and do whatever we have to do to get to her. All of this was after careful consideration and thought by Mr. D. and me... I think he knows that I need something (besides Finley) to look forward too... and it would be an especially long depressing summer f we just stayed home and stared at the phone. We have talked to our agency and they are just experiencing delays in domestic adoption right now... we knew this was a possibility when we signed with this small agency (see April & May 2008 archives) but it is really hard now that we are here... and still don't have our daughter.

Work - My co-teacher of three years decided to leave this year so I am interviewing for a new co-teacher. This is causing a lot of stress... but I am trying my best to deal with it. I am trying to look forward to the changes that will occur... but change is a hard thing for me especially while I am waiting for Finn. So please say a prayer that I will get the "right" person for the job and that we will work well together for the next several years.

Mood - So... as you can see I have a lot in my life right now that is out of my control and that is very hard on this type A personality. I am fighting anxiety and depression. I feel like my whole life is a roller coaster right now that just doesn't stop. Mr. D. & my home life are my constants right now and I am thankful about that. We are even taking out pup Truman out of town with us this time because I really need the stability of him when we are out of town... isn't that funny that such a little animal can bring we such comfort during this stressful process? I am just having trouble with not being in charge of the basic things in my life... my work... my adoption... where we stay for the summer... even my breasts don't quite seem to be in my control... it is more like they are controlling me. I hope I don't sound to whiny... I am just trying to sort some things out and enjoy the ride even though I am not driving.

I suspect my days in KC will be filled with reading... so if you have some books to recommend I would appreciate them... Right now I am into Southern "coming of age" books... Recently I really loved THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES, WHAT GIRLS LEARN, BACKROADS, STOLEN CHILD & A MIDWIFE'S TALE.... So if you have had any free time to read please give me some suggestions. As a teacher I hardly ever read during the school year (unless it is a script) and then I spend the summer going through 3 or 4 books a week... all fiction... all quick reads... think "beach reads and Chick Lit.

That is it for my catch up... I will fill you in if I hear anymore... but for now... keep on praying!