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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The details I promised

Everything is good. Everything is moving along perfectly... I know I promised details but for some reason I am feeling very protective of the details of our meeting with our birthmother. It is such an emotional story and for the past 2 weeks I have just been a bit overwhelmed with the details... especially the details about her. During the meeting there were defiantly things that we all thought of as a "sign" that this is the placement we have all been waiting for... there were several jaw dropping moments including the moment when she asked us what we were planning to name the baby. I was a little reluctant to tell her since I felt like there had to be a name that she was calling the baby in her womb (even secretly). But when I told her that the name that we had chosen was Finley Elisse her eyes opened wide and filled with tears... Elise was the name she had been calling the baby. (chills and tears even thinking about it now.)

I am feeling very protecting of the young woman who will be our birthmother. The adoption will be very open. With photos, letters, and visits. This birthmother is a wonderful person that we feel very comfortable having in our lives. She is a teenager with a very hard home life and aspirations to go to college and make her life better. Her one goal in life is to get out of her house and make a life for herself. She takes advanced placement classes and plays the cello on a state recognized level. She is pretty, sweet, and well spoken. We correspond by email and on the phone. Her biggest fear right now is that her water will break in class...

Finley is doing well. She is the size of a pineapple right now... 4.9 pounds as of last Friday. Her abdomen is measuring small (in the 17th percentile) which is a little bit to be concerned about.... but the doctor says even though it is small it is still "normal". Heartbeat was 155 and everything look great. I have seen sonograms and now have them on my phone to show anyone who will look at them...

Birthmom has asked me to be in the delivery room. I am freaking out a little. I know that this will be a totally emotional time and I am so afraid of being in the way. I am also scared beyond words of the 48 hours that follow delivery... these are the 48 hours where birthmom (I have GOT to think of a sweet anonymous name for her for this blog) can change her mind. Right now she is as solid as a person can be... she is looking forward to graduation, moving out and starting college (she has been accepted to a nice big university away from home)... but I am sooo frightened of that 48 hours because I am so attached already... please continue to pray for strength, courage, wisdom and peace for all of us involved.

Right now my "real life' is filled with major projects at work (only our biggest show of the year that opens 2 weeks before the due date) and trying to make sub plans for the last 6 weeks of school. I have a feeling the next 7 weeks are going to fly by... and at the same time be the longest 7 weeks of our lives.

Thank you all so much for your words of support... I have read your comments each day ad they help me as I move into these uncharted waters!

19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wheeeee! So excited for you. It sounds like this is a miracle starting to bloom, and I can't wait to "meet" Miss Finley on whatever level that may be in the bloggy world. Lots and lots of prayers for you all.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

I got to be in the delivery room too and it was the most amazing experience of my life....and now when Samuel asks I can tell him all about it because I WAS THERE! Those 48 hours are crazy, but it will be OK! In my prayers. God Bless

6:58 AM  
Blogger miss p said...

I have been reading your blog for a while now, and I check every day to see if theres any progress on the Finn saga. I just thought I'd say that I'm so happy that things are finally falling into place for you and Mr. D. I'm actually in tears reading this! I've been through the loss of a child before and I've always felt like a mother without a child, for as long as I can remember. I don't even know you but I feel like I relate to you so well. You, Mr. D, birthmum, and beautiful little Finn are all in my thoughts.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Continued prayer from our family.

How about "Angel" for your birthmother's moniker. As in sent from heaven to deliver (literally) to you your daughter.

7:36 AM  
Blogger F.M. said...

Thank you so much for sharing these precious details with us! Finley's birthmom sounds like she has a really good head on her shoulders, and Finley will get so much love from so many people with the open adoption. The more love for this little nugget the better! Being there in the delivery room...what an amazing gift! I can't believe how perfect it all sounds. Those 48 hours will be difficult but you and Mr. D are so strong together you will help each other through it. Are you still pumping? Can't wait for more updates!

7:41 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I am so, so glad that all is well with you and little Finley Elisse and her birthmom. We'll be thinking of you and hoping the time flies until you can finally hold your little girl!

10:03 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

Oh mY goodness, I have chills and and butterflies in my stomach for you. As someone who has followed this blog for a long time, I feel like I know you..that I am taking this ride with you and I am soooo happy for you sweetie.

I will continue to keep you in my prayers and to KNOW in my heart that Finley is on her way to you through this beautiful young woman.

love to you , Mr D , birthmom and beautiful little Finn.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so beyond thrilled that everythiing is going smoothly (knock wood). I will continue to pray and hope for everything to continue so well and can NOT wait for pictures of your beautiful liitle daughter!

1:02 PM  
Blogger rebecca said...

What an incredible journey...I'm so happy for you guys! Praying that God continues to grant you the peace & courage to walk this road & that He only brings you & the birth mother closer during these next few weeks.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

Wishing you the very best...what an amazing adventure this has been!

7:12 PM  
Blogger Northern Mom said...

I am totally thrilled for you and can understand every emotion you are going through!
I can't even recall how I stumbled across you blog, but have been following it for some time now. We too have adopted a baby girl who is now in school. I was in L&D with her and it was an amazing experience. Our birth mom held our daughter before I did and I was terrified that she would change her mind right then and there. I was able to bring her home less than 24 hours later. Please take comfort that your wait is 48 hours. Where I live the birth mom could not sign her parental rights away until 7 days after the birth and then she had 21 days after that in which she could have changed her mind. Ours too is somewhat open as our birth mom is family although we don't see her very much at all. I will post more of our story another day!
Hugs to you
B

4:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How wonderful. What a blessing. There is truly a reason for everything, and this was meant to be!

10:29 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

This is all so wonderful and just feels meant to be. I continue to pray for all of you.

1:41 PM  
Blogger SassyCupcakes said...

This all sounds so wonderful. I'm so happy for you and I think it's great that you're planning such an open adoption. You're such a strong woman, you're going to be an amazing Mum.

2:48 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I can't believe it! I'm in tears right now reading this, I noticed your writing had slowed down, so I stopped checking every day, I come back and this!

I have goosebumps, chills, tears of joy, and this huge feeling of excitement, happiness and hope for you!

I will pray for you, Mr. D, your Angel, and little miss Finley. I am so glad you decided to share the heartwarming details of this part of your journey!

I can't wait until our next update. Congratulations!!!

--Ashley :)

10:01 PM  
Blogger Charles Riedmueller said...

Amazing that she had chosen the same name!

BTW, you've known me for years as "PW". New name, but no stranger.

7:46 AM  
Blogger Ollie said...

I got goosebumps at the story of Elise.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Sandy D. said...

I have just been where you are. I think this time is a lot like dating. You don't want to communicate too little of too much. You analyze every word you say or email. You analyze everything she tells you looking for a million for sure signs. It's a crazy ride!
I can't wait to see your little one on your blog one day and share in your joy! You are in my thoughts.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Hi, I just found your blog through a friend (who is dealing with infertility and I love very deeply).

AND, I was adopted at birth, by a couple, very like you, from a teen mom, very like birthmom. I just wanted to say, everything is going to be awesome. I know it. I've lived it. You will be Mom and Dad, loved and cherished for the wonderful life you are giving her.

11:16 AM  

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