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Sunday, January 03, 2010

Sunday Night Ritual

Do you realize all this drama has lasted 3 weeks plus? Who would have guessed that my "Still #3" post to vent about my frustration during this process would lead to people all over yelling at me and each other. I realize now that I have so very loyal friends out there who really care about my story and that has been the best thing to come out of all of this messy "conversation". Thank you to those of you who have added constructively and respectfully to the dialogue... I have really taken all of your comments, thoughts, and stories to heart.

And to those of you who have been reading for a long time thank you for posting... I really had no clue that more than 5 or 6 people were out there following. It feels good to know that there is a collective energy out there that is hoping, wishing, and praying for our daughter to find her way to us... and I just wanted to tel you how much I appreciate knowing that you are out there sending that positive energy our way.

Every Sunday night for the past several weeks Mr. D. and I light a candle for Finley Elisse and pray that angels will light her way into our arms. We started doing it when we got the bad news from our agency that we were "still #3" and that our wait would be longer than we ever expected. I would like to invite any of you out there who would like to join us to light a candle, where ever you are in the world, as a collective prayer for our daughter Finley Elisse and her birthparents and ask that God will bring them into our lives soon.

Goodnight.

29 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

Consider it done. God bless.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Carrie said...

FYI, according to Google!Reader, you have 115 people who use it to read to your blog. That doesn't count the people who read it in other ways!

Very impressive :)

-Carrie

5:05 AM  
Blogger ABLynch said...

I've been reading (well... lurking) on your blog for quite awhile and wanted to let you know that I am so totally rooting for you!! You two deserve to be parents. I pray for you every night and hope your wait is quickly coming to an end.

6:05 AM  
Blogger juneheller said...

You have been in my prayers, and now you are scheduled for prayer on Sunday nights!

6:17 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

I have read and never commented on your blog for a long time. I am amazed that people feel they can comment on your choices!
I remeain filled with admiration that you continue to be honest, have grace , have humour and hold fast to hope . I like the lighting of the candle illuminating the way I hope for you both.This comes with good wishes from the other side of the Atlantic !

10:28 AM  
Blogger SaraL said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Mrs. D. said...

Thank you for the link SaraL... I went over and posted for myself.

8:12 PM  
Blogger ani said...

idiot

8:42 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:47 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

That is why I have comment moderation on....I will not let comments that call me an "idiot" through. I don't mind people disagreeing with me, but it should be my choice whether to publish their comments or not. Recently I even had someone upset with me because I didn't credit they with correcting a "spelling" error I had. Ugghh!

What an amazing traditon? Lighting the candle is a beautiful idea. I will pray for you and when I get home from work I'll add you to my reader.

I want to read the other posts too.

We also named our baby before he came. Samuel was chosen right after we married over 5 years ago and if he had been a she, she would have been Sarah.

God Bless

5:07 AM  
Blogger Piccinigirl said...

consider this done, whether I do it "actively" or "in my heart" every Sunday, I will do it until Finley is in your arms.

love to you.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Cricket said...

@Tracey,

If you are going to post that your child is a tax credit/write off, then I feel that you should have the courage to post the comment where someone calls you out on it.

In peace,
Cricket

10:17 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

Come by on Sunday...I added you to the prayer list. God bless!

2:06 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I've been a long time reader and just wanted to add my support. The negative response you've gotten is just bizarre to me. Thank you for sharing your journey with us and I look forward to the post that announces Finley's arrival.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...

I'll join in too. You deserve to be a mom NOW. The 9-month wait I had was awful...I can't imagine waiting as long as you have.

9:27 PM  
Blogger hudson6803 said...

I've been reading for at least a year...not sure exactly how long though.

Sundays it is!

5:06 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

I visited some of those anti-adoption websites, there are a few of them. All of them that I read seem to be written by people who are mentally ill. I will include Myst in that category, she needs help, she says she is suffering from PTSD and that's probably true.
They all, also, at least the ones I read, have an axe to grind regarding adoption.
I didn't read any blogs by anti-adoption people who are infertile, though.
I'll bet you can find a lot more people that have adopted or have been adopted and that are happy and satisfied with their lives.

8:55 AM  
Blogger akeeyu said...

Oh, what the hell, I'll bite.

"I visited some of those anti-adoption websites, there are a few of them. All of them that I read seem to be written by people who are mentally ill."

Karen, are you intending to use 'mentally ill' as a slur? I am mentally ill.

I also have PTSD as a result of serious childhood trauma. Does this invalidate me in your eyes? Do you only value the opinions of people who haven't had traumatic experiences?

If that wasn't your intention, you might consider rephrasing your statement. And, you know, apologizing.

I have no direct connection to adoption, but I notice that a lot of the anti-adoption folks do. Many of them are adult adoptees, or first parents, both of whom are important members of the adoption triad.

It does seem rather...what's the word I'm looking for...? Cruel? Dismissive? Yeah, I guess. It seems kind of dismissive to advocate for adoption while being derisive about the experiences of some adult adoptees. Clearly, they do not represent the entire adoption experience, but they ARE real and should be learned from, not derided.

Different people experience the same events in different ways. Blowing off people who experience negative feelings related to adoption does not improve the institution of adoption as a whole.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

We'll be lighting a candle on Sunday for you, your little girl, and her birth mom. And of course for families #1 and #2 on the list that their children may come into their families very soon.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

I'm a long time lurker as well and will think of you each time I light a candle regardless of what day it is and say a little prayer. Wishing you all the best!

1:40 PM  
Blogger Myst said...

Jamie, I have posted a post to you n my blog. This is getting old.

As for the person who wishes to label me as mentally ill and has taken pot shots at me because I have PTSD. Please stop projecting your mental welfare issues onto me or any other person because we do not agree adoption is rosy. It isn't appreciated.

4:39 PM  
Blogger Pusillanimous Wanker said...

I'm one of the 115, since 2006 at least. Sorry for lurking . . . I'm not sure I've commented since I suggested you look into adoption a couple of years ago and you bit my head off ;)

Best of luck and sorry for your recent "difficulties". They are so much smaller than what you've already endured.

You have demonstrated time and again that you are tough-minded and persistent. I keep reading because I can't wait for the inevitable happy ending.

... then this will become a mommy blog and I'll lose interest (I keed)

5:37 PM  
Blogger Mrs. D. said...

Could you guys please PLEASE stop using my blog posts to yell at each other? I am super tired of this... and now I have yet ANOTHER entire post dedicated to me on Myst's blog and I don't want to be linked there... but she feels attacked here so she continues to bring me and my blog into the world of anti-adoption blogs... which will continue to bring negative comments to both my blog and hers.

Just please.. let this go...

This was a post asking for prayer for my future daughter, her birthfamily and my family... and somehow even this has been put in to a negative spin.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Mrs. D. said...

Wanker -
There is something very comforting about knowing you are still out the pulling for us. I lol'ed when you reminded me that you "just adopt"ed me years ago... See... it ain't as easy as you thought is it ;)

Thanks for checking in... and if this becomes a Mommy Blog you better keep reading!

7:26 PM  
Blogger Pusillanimous Wanker said...

You were one of my first blog connections and I've never had the heart to sever it. Of Course I will keep reading afterwards, jokes aside.

Any acting gigs? You haven't posted theater stuff in a while . . . part of the reason I followed your blog was because of that. I've directed now and am slated to do so again in April.

7:46 PM  
Blogger nature said...

Best wishes on your daughter. How did you chose her pretty unique name? (my 2 had unique names too)
May I ask Why do we have to have the comment by "Karen" using mentally ill as an attempted insult, remaining on here?

9:45 AM  
Blogger They called her Chloe said...

Can I be respectful by first wishing you the best in the future, and saying thanks for letting people express their opinion on your blog. Personally I found it was an eyeopener. I'm posting the addresses of two blogs that I feel would be very enlightening for everyone that reads your blog: Dawn at www.thiswomanswork.com. She is an amom in a very open adoption and she deals with various issues with compassion and humour. And Claud at www.musingsofthelame.com who is a firstmom blogger seeking adoption reform.
Blessings to you all.
Findingmaddy.blogspot.com

3:28 PM  
Blogger totally said...

Goodness!
All I can say is follow your heart, keep your chin up, and know that you have far more supportive and long term followers than you realise. I'll keep you and your little one, and families in my thoughts, and I hope the journey will be through for you soon.

6:33 PM  
Blogger laura smythe said...

Hi
Finding your blog tonight was amazing just like someone had written all of the feelings i have about miscarridge. It was one of the most lonely times in my life and i really found out who my true friends were. I will follow your blog here in little blighty and hope and pray that your dreams come true.

Laura x

1:34 PM  

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