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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

cd 1... UPDATED

AF started this morning so there is no need to retest.

As always, it is pretty awful getting a BFN. I have not been able to get pregnancy now for 16 months since my last miscarriage. I have been on this journey for almost 4 years. I hate this roller coaster... the ups of feeling hopeful and the the crashes of the lows.

I know I have a great life... and I have a lot to be thankful for. But on days like this I find myself wallowing in disappointment, frustration, and sadness. I know that next month will be another try and another hopeful time but for now... I feel like it is never ever going to happen for me.

I have the best husband... hands friggin down.
Remember when I told you that I have a great life... and a lot to be thankful for... well it is really true.

My two "feel better gifts" that Mr. D. had waiting for me when I got home today.
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A sweet teapot and oven mits that say "Mom's Diner"... well... I can be "Mom to my 3 kitties and my pup... right???

and... (this guy is HUGE... almost 2 1/2 feet tall!)

My day is so much better now.
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Blogger Aliza said...

I hate the waiting and the trying and the testing and the periods. I decided to ignore it all and did better than usual and poof, prego. Of course, the likelihood of this one lasting more than 6-7 weeks is slim. But I think ignoring the process helped. We get sucked in and have to get out of it somehow. Good luck to you.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Crap. CD1 sucks. I'm sorry...

I do love your hubby though. He is so kind and thoughtful :o).

I know how you feel. I feel that same way too. It has been 18 months since we first went off the pill and started trying. My husband sperm are crappy and I'm fine. It takes a lot to get through it, but I'm just trying my best to move on. I'm not saying that you should move on, because it is so hard to give up our dreams, but I just wanted to let you know that I can identify with you and I know how you feel.


8:12 PM  
Blogger Sheryl said...

Ahhhh I'm sorry that CD1 has arrived. That just sucks :(

But do you ever have the best hubby! That was so good of him to bring you home little presents. I'm sure that made you feel great!

4:31 AM  
Blogger Heather P. said...

Your dh is someone to cherish!!

6:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great guy you have. I suppose he makes this journey bareable. Thnak God for him:)

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Lisanne said...

Hi there! I'm Lisanne and am visiting your blog via Lisa's. Good luck with your journey toward parenthood ~ I wish you all the best! Hang in there!

11:26 AM  
Blogger Crazy Me said...

Ahhhh ... he is so sweet, Jamie. Much, much better than someone who shall remain nameless.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

What a sweet guy you have Jamie.

I am sorry that CD-1 reared her stupid head.

Thanks for the comments on my blog - they meant alot.

7:05 AM  
Blogger Lesley said...

Mr D is a lovely guy & I know you appreciate him. Have fun at the carnival.. It sounds like wonderful "Date".
Hugs from Me.

9:23 PM  

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