Small town visit...

I thought that the second I got back from "small town five hours away" I would blog the whole experience. I thought that I would be bursting with news and excitement... and I was... I just have been spending the last week processing everything and I felt a little selfish with the experience and wanted to just share it with my husband for a few days first... it was that wonderful.

The five hour drive was easy. We listened to a Steve Martin autobiography on the way and it made the time fly by. I knew that we would be in a time crunch to get there so I thought I was being very smart by washing my hair in the morning, not curling it, and bringing my car adapter to use my hot rollers on the way so my curls would be fresh and bouncy. I rode in the car in my sweats and picked out a fresh little black and white capri set to wear at the interview. We were already running a little late... I told M that we would arrive between 2-3 pm and we were booking it to get there by 3:15... so.... I plugged in my rollers and what???? The adapter wouldn't work! Plugged in my cell phone... boom... adapted worked... rollers again.. nothing. I started to panic and my sweet husband looked over and said... "I think your hair looks great straight"... I I just let it go. I did my makeup and changed my clothes in the car and we pulled into town at about 3:20.

We borrowed a GPS system from a friend to try out and it worked great.. until we got into town. "You've arrived!" she said right in from of the most dilapidated scary old building I have ever seen. I started to panic! I had visions of some fake adoption agency where they took your money and you never saw then again. We were just about to pull in and see what was up when we realized the address was off by 2 blocks... whew.

We pulled in to a much cuter building! My agency is so small that it also triples as the family law practice and real estate office! As we walked up I said I was scared and asked Mr. D. if he was scared too.. he said "there isn't anything to be afraid of... we are just meeting them!" My husband is wise. We opened the door and a little dog that (No kidding) looked EXACTLY like our beloved little Truman ran up and started jumping into our arms. I looked at Mr. D. and we both smiled and took it as a good sign. We met M. and her mother who also works in the office and a few others... we toured the office and then met in a small boardroom. Everything was so comfortable and homey. They were transferring records onto a new server so there were boxes around.. but it just added to the casualness and actually helped put us at ease.

Snuffy the sweet puppy sat in Mr. D's lap for the whole meeting! M. told Mr. D. all the stuff about the agency that she and I had talked about on the phone. She took so much time with us and told us many adoption stories and warned us of the "crazy out of control" feelings that we (especially me) will feel at some point of the process. She said "don't ever spend time worrying about thing like "I really want to call M. and ask where we are but I don't want to be pushy" she said... "Just call!" She promised to talk us (me) down and help us (me) get through the wait. She said "somehow.. I swear.. I think the adoptive mom develops the pregnancy hormones... and we all... just... get a little crazy.. it is part of it!". She adopted her daughter from Russian 3 years ago and shared with us that she is beginning the process again to adopt another little girl. She also said something else that I thought was very wise "When you finally start the adoption process... It starts to feel that your baby is out there somewhere and you can have panic about wanting to find them... it is such an out of control feeling and it is my mission to help you get through that until God brings us your baby."

She asked us what we really wanted... beyond a "healthy baby"... did we have any specifics? I looked over at our bright pink homestudy binder and said... "we really want a girl... is that ok?... can we just ask for a Hispanic or Caucasian or biracial baby girl?... Is that ok?" And she said "We can do that. You want a daughter. I totally understand." Just about then her gorgeous four year old little girl E. walks in a climbs into her arms. "She just woke up from her nap" she said "we are very casual here... we brng our kids and pets with us to work!" It was like magic! We spent the next 30 minutes talking and laughing with E. while she had a mid afternoon snack. She told us about her puppy (still in Mr. D.'s lap) and about her little sister they were getting. She told us that she was born in Russia and that she wanted to be a mermaid when she grew up. It was charming and perfect and wonderful.

After and hour and a half we left with hugs all around. On the way out we looked down and saw a tiny hand print in the cement in front of the agency... snapped a picture because it just felt like another sign. We talked about names and drove quietly on the way home. We both just felt so amazed at how perfect everything went.




It was a very good trip... and I have made the trip another hundred times in my mind since then... So forgive me for being a little selfish with the story... I just needed to keep it in my heart for a while and process it all before I shared. It just seems so real now...

...we are actually going to have a daughter.