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Sunday, November 14, 2004

Rain.

Thanks for all of you answers to my burning questions post... I really love getting to know you all and feeling the support that comes from Blogland.

I am taking it easy today. It is a cold and rainy day here... the perfect day to get another BFN. I am on cd 26... AF should be here in a couple of days and I am just plain old... sad.

I am not the person that I was before my miscarriages... My job is overwhelming me... (it never did before), I don't look forward to things, I am not silly and happy as I was before, I am not driven to better myself, I am depressed... All that matters is getting pregnant.

I feel wrecked.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jenna said...

Hey,
It's raining and cold here too. I love the cold I could live with out it raining. I know what you mean about not being the same person. I wouldn't even know the person I was then. I used to be fun, carefree, happy. Now I am just sad. Every thought anyone says I relate either in my head or out loud to either losing my babies or wanting to be pg again. I miss having normal conversations. I miss not wanting to scream every minute of everyday I want a baby. It's getting closer to christmas. It is bitter sweet. This should be our babies first christmas. I hope your day is good. Loads of Baby Dust.. Wishing you a BFP..

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh I hear you, oh so hear you. I'm definitely not the same person I was before and I'm afraid it's permanent. However, having been doing this for way too long, it does get better, over time. It takes a long time and it's different for everyone, but the pain eventually dulls.

Sending you soothing thoughts.

xxxooo,
Emily
scrambledeggs

6:39 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Jamie, I'm so sorry. I know what you mean. It's like having your brain hijacked, and it feels like there is nothing you can do about it. On my blog someone told me to "Let go" as if it were that easy.
I think you're going to find some answers with your tests. All you can do is take each day as it comes, it's all any of us can do.
-Erin

4:11 AM  

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