Doctors..My not so brief history... (UPDATED)
UPDATE: How can I explain the moodiness and uber-frustration the past two days??? Well.. this morning AF SHOWED UP!!! I know what you are thinking "WHHHHHAAAATTTT????" So AF arrives about 2 weeks early... I have NEVER (in my ENTIRE life) had a cycle less than 26 days... NEVER. Does that mean I ovulated while I was on my period???? .. I am planning to INSIST on monitoring...starting in the next 5 days... if he won't do it... I will try to get in to Dr #3 again... because I know he will do an u/s... but I need to be seen somewhere in the next 5 days. I am scared and bawling right now... What is going on?????
I am not sure how much of my story you actually know... Especially the boring doctor stuff... but I have been through the ringer in the last 13 months... I have tried to be aggressive and sometimes I think my main mistake has been firing so many doctors instead of sticking with one... but they never seem to do everything the "right" way. Some order tests but do not folly monitor.... some believe in checking progesterone... some don't... Some want me to have a lap... others disagree....
This is my 4th doctor...
DR. #1
I had been with this doctor group for 6 years... and I had both my m/c with the same doctor... He didn't "believe" in checking progesterone levels... So I don't know if my 2nd m/c could have been prevented with supplements... After the 2nd we did all the blood work, karyotyping, Hsg, sperm stuff... they checked for everything that could be checked in the blood...
DR. #2
The 2nd was an parinatel specialist that I saw because they thought that I might have a blood disorder because of some bad blood results (antiphospholipid antibodies...) He helped me rule that out. But then... since I didn't qualify as "high hisk" for a perinatel specialist (especially since I wasn't pg) I had to find another doctor... and I didn't want to go back to the 1st... to many bad memories and I just didn't trust him because of the progesterone thing.
DR. #3
The 3rd was an infertility clinic where I was checked for PCOS through a series of 5 trans vag u/s to look for signs of PCOS, Polyps or any other cysts... he found nothing. I left him because he put me on progesterone supplements after a cd 16 blood draw (everyone else says it *has* to be done on cd21 for accurate results...) and because he went straight to wanting me to have a lap. I have no symptoms of endo...and I have been pregnant 2 times (not being able to get pg is a big sing of endo) and since we know the tubes are not blocked (because of the hsg) I am not really interested in having an exploratory surgery.. And when I told him that he started in on IUI and IVF and I got scared he was after the $$$.
DR. #4
I wanted a doctor that would go step by step... and not rush me into IUI or IVF... Especially since we STILL don't know WHY I have miscarried in the first place... And I *could* miscarry again. IUI and IVF just seem wrong to do until we establish a problem getting pregnant... not STAYING pregnant. I was happy to go to this doctor because I thought clomid is a better next step for me... He had all the records from my folly monitoring the month before with dr. #3 so that is why he just started me on the clomid right away... It was either that or do the lap. Or do nothing and keep trying natrually... Those were my only choices. Now I find out that this doctor does the clomid and the cd21 progesterone draw... but doesn't monitor the follicles... Why can't one of them just do it all???? I think that when I see him next month I will ask him to monitor with u/s... Especially since the temping and the OPK's are not working for me. If he refuses I don't know if I should look for doctor #5 or go back to Dr. #3 (the infertility doctor) because he might do a better job helping me with the clomid and actually do the monitoring.
It is just so hard to get a doctor to LISTEN to you... Every time I go to a new one they want to start at square one and I have already had most of the tests that they want to do... so I have to lug my records from doctor to doctor and they have to try to put it all together like a big puzzle.
It really has been a nightmare... Now that you know most of my history... what do you think? New doctor... old doctor? Same doctor? What would you do?
I just wanted you all to know that I have been aggressive... I have tried to find a doctor that will listen and do what everyone else's doctors are doing... Sometimes I think all this "google information" is making me so mistrustful of doctors because I constantly feel like they are doing it "wrong"...
posted by Mrs. D. @ 4/21/2005 07:17:00 PM
13 Comments:
Jamie,
I am so sorry the evil bitch came to visit you. I can imagine you feel like you have just hit a brick wall. I really hope you can find some one to do folly monitoring this cycle. I'm thinking of you!
Jess
I'm so sorry, I would push your current dr. to do the monitoring. Tell them you just aren't comfortable without monitoring the next cycle and ask all of your questions. Why the short cycle, and how to best figure out if your are ovulating for sure... If they do not feel competent to do this ask them to recommend someone who is and who will not push you into IUI or IVF.
I think it would be highly unlikely for you to ovulate while taking the clomid, right? Your chart does look like you ovulated, just based on temps, but it's not clear.
Clomid is supposed to make your cycles more predictable, yes? I think, if you haven't already, you should call your doctor. I think more intensive monitoring of your cylce is MORE than called for when it is taken into account just how long you have been trying for a baby without success.
Tell them you feel that you cannot afford to waste any more time on treatments that may not be effective. You are putting this drug into your body, and it would seem that you aren't getting the desired result, which in the very least is a definite ovulation and an adequate luteal phase. And if you did ovulate as early as your menstrual cycle, I would say that the egg quality would have to be in serious doubt. No more "weird" as an answer.
This is the business these doctors are in. They should take it just a seriously as a doctor who specializes in cancer or neurology. WTF? It isn't like you have been trying for only a year, or have seen only one doctor. Can someone please act like they give a damn about this and about your questions? You giving yourself the power of knowledge is not the problem. The money you give these people without any one of them taking the time to properly address your questions is the problem. You shouldn't even need google with the number of doctors you've seen. I know you've been aggressive, and I also know how easy it is for a doctor to make you feel like you shouldn't be questioning them. It just makes me angry that you haven't found one yet that can help you find out what's going on with your body.
BTW, if someone finds your ttc journey boring and tiring, I'm sure they can find something more suitable to read. I would think the answer is not "just adopt," but that some people need to have a little more compassion. Unfortunately, there is no medical treatment for those who are lacking in that kind of emotional generosity. Being a man is no exuse, in my humble opinion. If it's frustrating for a reader, it should only take a small amount of imagination to realize how frustrating it must be for the couple trying desperately to become parents. But again, lack of imagination is not something the medical establishment has found a way to cure.
Jamie,
Again, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have known you through alot of it and I know that it has been so hard. I know that it is really so hard to find a Doctor. You asked for advice, so here is mine, I would definatly get rid of this Dr if he doesn't want to start monitoring, and I would find a new Dr or go back to #3. If you go back to #3 you could do an IUI cycle which might not be so bad, (I am not sure if that is where you are wanted to be, but at least it is somewhere) with an IUI cycle you can also get monitoring. Let us know what you decide. You are in my thought. Again I am sorry and I really hope that it gets better.
Jenna
Jamie,
I said pretty much everything with my PW Reply - I stand by my statement of not understanding why your current doc isn't monitoring you on the Clomid - and his answer of "it is too stressful" is crap. Is it possible to go to an R/E? From what I have been reading and what my doc has told me (gyno at East Coast Fertility) most gynos don't even really know how to diagnose or treat infertility - so they put you on Clomid because they figure - not pregnant - not ovulating - here you go - which is a dangerous thing to do.
I know you have been to alot of doctors - but you need to find someone that you are comfortable with - both their method of treatment and their bedside manner - I know you hate to think about IUI - especially since you have gotten pregnant before - but maybe that is going to be the option - or perhaps different meds - or OK and here is a novel idea - Maybe ONE or TWO cycles on the Clomid with the Proper monitoring - 5 days on Clomid - U/S and blood monitoring 3 days after last dose, U/S and Blood work every other day until follicle is big enough - HCG shot to bring on ovulation - Progesterone Blood draw a week after that - if progesterone is low than Progesterone Suppositories and then blood pregnancy test a week after that -
The proper monitoring may be all you need to actually pinpoint the day of O - since kits and charts are not working - I agree with someone's reply on PW "Weird" is so NOT an ANSWER!
Sorry - I rambled again!
OK - and one more thing - sorry - if a doctor REALLY cared about you and your baby - they would not be afraid to 1. Give you all the options and 2. Admit when you should be referred some place else.
My gyno would not put me on Clomid - he said since I had been trying unsuccessfully for over two years - it was time to see a specialist - When I get pregnant again - you can be sure I will be going back to the OBGYN to deliver my baby - because I know he has my best interests in mind.
It may take time - but you are going to find the Right Doctor - it is your right to get the treatment you deserve.
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Jamie, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. As patients we are limited as to what we can do and have to rely on our doctors. You need to find a doctor you are comfortable with...I know...easier said then done. I would definitely dump this doctor and for now go back to dr #3 and insist on monitoring. While you're seeing him you can look for another infertility specialist. It's frustrating when we don't get the help that we need and desperately want. I'm thinking of you and hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Liz
Jamie,
Just my two cents, but any doctor who puts you on medication and doesn't monitor you is either a) incompetent or b) lazy. I find it reprehensible that someone would put you on medication and not monitor you because it is, after all, a controlled substance. My first doctor did that to me as well and it cost me six months of trying time and now it's too late for me because I've crossed into that 40 year old mark. Be aggressive and active in your own medical care. I wish you luck and hope you find a solution soon.
xxoo,
Emily
Jaime,
I am so sorry you are dealing with all the confusion. Do you have any cramping? It just seems strange considering your cycle has been relatively regular. And while I don't know much about Clomid, I do know you can have ovarian hyper-stimulation, so I also think your doc should monitor you. Don't be afraid to demand specific care! (which I am sure you have done.)If they are unwilling to work with you, then move on. I am nervous myself about having to go back to the OB next month, but I am going to be the super-bitch, aka the super-educated-on-infertility bitch that I am.
If you are looking for a positive, it is the starting of a fresh month. Last month I set up a little ritualistic table, complete with candles, fertility monitor, medication, Pre-seed, the works. I know, I am a dork, but it helps me get in the frame of mind that I am all-about-trying.
:-) Hugs to you, heres to better days . .
I'm sorry you are having doctor troubles on top of everything else. I had the same, and I just kept skipping around until I found answers. Eventually I had everything I needed, collectively. Doctors typically get burned up when you don't stick with one, but as long as they aren't doing what they need to be doing, too bad.
Oh, and as a sidenote, I don't have trouble getting pregnant, just keeping the pregnancies. And I had Stage Four endo when they did my lap. But then I DID have symptoms.
GOod luck with Doctor Roulette. I hope you find one worth sticking with.
If it's frustrating for a reader, it should only take a small amount of imagination to realize how frustrating it must be for the couple trying desperately to become parents.I'm thinking of you and hope tomorrow will be a better day.
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