Addiction....

I took two pregnancy tests in about 7 hours.... both BFN... I am on CD23 of 32 and 10dpo.

I took the first at 3 AM... because I woke up and had a terrific NEED to test... after the full 10 minutes there was no line... However at 7 AM when I woke up again there was a light light light shadow-y line... An evap. line (E-V-A-P-O-R-A-T-I-O-N for you newbies) and since I am now using the crack cocaine version of HPT... Dollar General "Baby Tests" I have to put up with these phantom evap. lines and play by the "DO NOT FOR ANY REASON LOOK AT YOUR HPT AFTER THE 10 MINUTE TIME LIMIT" rule. The upside? For the bargain price of $1 per test I can get a BFN every day of the month...

Oh the memories of using the top of the line pregnancy tests that cost $18 for a two pack... but you see... I have slipped... I can't afford the luxury tests anymore. I am forced by my addiction to drive to the grungiest nastiest Dollar Store in the seedy part of town wearing my darkest sunglasses to stay incognito. Lock my doors and run into the crap store hoping and praying that no one questions the purchase I am about to make... a case of home pregnancy tests.

As most crack whores would tell you, the urge to do more can get you. Those evap. lines are dangerous and tricky. So at lunch time after making my "connection" at the Dollar General I ran home to re-test (with 1 PM pee on 10 dpo... yep... I am out of control).

At 10 minutes post pee there was no line... even took it outside to look in the sunlight... BUT at 13 minutes there was a almost invisible shadow that might have been a line... in fact it was so light I was probably imagining it... and since no one was here to verify it... who knows? I am quite sure that I am in the grips of my addiction now and am only seeing what I want to see.... Evaporation lines are the devil and I feel them pulling me into hell by my uterus! And honestly... If I ever did get a BFP from a Dollar General test I would probably have to back it up by testing with a twin pack of EPT because what idiot would trust a $1 pregnancy test anyway??????

So I have 9 more tests in my possession and 9 days until AF is due... Who wants to bet that I run out of tests before I run out of days?

I can't imagine having to go back to my supplier (Dollar General) and buy more HPT's after only a few days... I may have to find another Dollar Store to buy them at so I don't get the old fish-eye from the toothless clerk working there... AND I have to ask for them (they keep them behind the counter... probably because there is an epidemic of $1 pregnancy test misuse and abuse). I actually have to say the words to get them "May I please have 10 $1 pregnancy tests please"? AHHHHHHH the utter shame of this addiction. Do you think there is a 12 step program for this one????

My name is Jamie and I am a pregnancy test whore...