The night before opening night...

Tonight is our first preview performance of the musical. It is sort of like dress rehearsal with an invited audience. The set is complete the doors work, the lights are programmed, the posters are up... It is time.

I am trying to trust that I have given the kids everything they need to succeed. We have had 4 full run throughs... 3 with the band and I have given pages and pages of notes every night... sometimes I give the SAME note night after night. I know the show won't crash and burn... I know that they are secure enough that it will not fall apart... I know they won't just stop... (Like in my worst nightmares)... but... I just wanted the show to be... well... more...

I am not sure if this makes sense unless you are a competitor. Unless you know what it tastes like to be the best once and then have to try to live up to that... but it is hard. My musicals have won major praise and awards from out community... the expectation is high... and this one may not be the "professional theatrical experience" that we usually serve up. This one may be (simply) a high school musical. And that makes me feel like I have failed.

On a lighter note... TTC has not gone well this week. We did IT on cd13 and that is it. There is to much stress and struggle with the 15 hour days I am putting in and well... it just didn't happen. We may try again tonight.. but it is probably to late (cd16). So... it could be our month since it just takes once at the right time (we KNOW this from our 1st 2 pregnancies that ended in m/c) but I am not very hopeful... Yet.... But never fear.. Give me a week and I will probably be testing every 5 minutes. (I HATE THE TTC PERSON THAT I HAVE BECOME).

Have you guys checked out peeonastick.com? Very funny and informative stuff!