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Friday, October 08, 2004

I hate pregnant women... there... I said it...

WARNING......FOR TTC WOMEN ONLY!!!!
(IF YOU HAVE A BFP.... you are going to hate me when I write this...)

OK... I know this is a GIANT no-no but I went lurking on birth club pages on Pregnancy Weekly... I KNOW I SHOULDN'T DO THAT!!!!... but I did... I wanted to see what I would be feeling if I was 8 months pregnant or 5 months pregnant like I am "supposed" to be. I guess it is some sort of self destructive game I play with myself.. "hey.. I am feeling a little depressed today so I think I will do whatever I can to make myself feel worse..."

So here is my beef...
I am so tired of pregnant women complaining about EVERYTHING... I know they are sick... I know they can't drink.... I know they are uncomfortable... they can't sleep... their dh's are not nice to them... they are emotional... They want this baby"OUT" of them... they feel fat... I get it... I know...

BUT... They are pregnant and I am not.

WHY??? Why is it that women who have not experienced infertility or miscarriage can't appreciate how fragile pregnancy is? What a miracle it is? And how much it hurts to lose a pregnancy. All these women could do is bitch about how MISERABLE they are!!!! I really had to resist posting something mean on their birth club like "hey... try having 2 m/c or TTC for 3 years with nothing to show for it... and then tell me how "miserable" you feel!"

God... I think I am going to hell.


OK.. I know I have no right to judge them... and that I was wrong for lurking there...

BUT... WHY CAN'T THEY FUCKING APPRECIATE HOW LUCKY THEY ARE?

I won't go back to the birth clubs...
I won't go back to the birth clubs...
I won't go back to the birth clubs...
I won't go back to the birth clubs...
I won't go back to the birth clubs...

The only thing that irks me more is the occasional 18 year old on the boards that thinks something is "wrong with her" because she has TTC for "2 long months" and isn't pregnant yet. Whatever you little attention grabbing whore! How dare you come on the board and ask for TTC advice... HA... If we fucking knew we wouldn't be on the damn board in the first fucking place! Whew...

Please don't bother yelling at me... I know I am being a bitch... I am unreasonable... I just have had a really bad day and want to be pregnant!

(I shared this post with my TTC buddies at Pregnancy Weekly thinking that they would hate me and yell that I was awful for feel so jealous and mean... it turns out they were all so supportive and most said they have felt the same way at some point... I am seriously starting to believe that the only real friends that I have in the world are my imaginary cyber friends... 'cause my "real life friends" sure the fuck don't understand.)

85 Comments:

Blogger Jenna said...

Hey Jamie,
I know I already posted on this, but I wanted to post again. Thanks for the advice about tylenol sinus, I was able to get 2 hrs of sleep before going to work. I am still so tired though. I have been tired alot... stupid false pg symptoms.
I WANT TO BE PREGANT TOO!!! the other day at work I just wanted to scream I want a baby. It wouldn't of done any good. There is only one other person that I work with and he get to hear about it all the time.
I wanted to say that I agree so much with you about pg women. You know if we were pg we wouldn't complain about all that stupid stuff. All we want our healthy babies. No matter what the cost. Not that we haven't paid enough already. I know that I have never been 8 mths pg so I don't know what it is like but who cares if you can't drink, or if you can't sleep or anything else you have a life inside that you are going to hold in a month.
Jenna

10:30 PM  
Blogger chris said...

I don't think anyone in infertility blogland would hate your for saying this. We're all pretty crabby. I can even top you: When I'm pregnant (which is pretty often, though not very successfully) I even hate pregnant women. I hate how they take it for granted, how they can plan. Hate them. They have no idea, do they?

4:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whiney women who live a charmed life are who I hate, pregnant or not. When they get pregnant, they complain about everything, when they're not pregnant they complain about everything and...here's the think that drives me nuts -- NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO THEM!

Hugs my dear, lots of hugs.

xxxooo,
Emily
scrambledeggs

7:39 AM  
Blogger Kath said...

I feel like that just about every other day. And I agree with Emily from scrambled eggs, it seems that nothing ever happens to them.

Having said all that, I can't wait for my turn to bitch and moan about pregnancy. I am going to find a pregnancy board and invent a userid and claim that I am 18, single and it took two whole months of one night stands to get pregnant. Then I can winge to all my hearts content. I certainly couldnt do it on infertility boards/blogs.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been reading the posts on PW and the comments here. I just want you to know, you shouldn't feel badly about your "vent". I can't imagine how you feel everyday and like you said, sometimes that message board is the only place you can go to show your true feelings and how much pain you are in. Sometimes it is easier to talk to everyone there than your own family. I support your post 100% and know you had good intentions. From what I have read or know about you from this blog and PW you would never post anything like that maliciously, only to show how hurt you are and get support from your friends. Your apology was never needed, but was good clarification. This is just one person's opinion, but I thought you may need it. I will pray for you to have peace in your heart and for the hurt to go away :o)

Jessi (mrsschroer)

7:49 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Hi Jamie,

Don't feel bad for your comments about pregnant women...there are lots of us who feel that way.
Even though I've more or less disappeared from TTC-land, I still check in on you. I think of you often and wish all the best for you!

Your friend,

Jen

4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are right! After 7 long years of infertility I am finally pregnant and every time I am on one of those boards and see woman whining I get so mad. Don't they know how precious every feeling is? The entire time we were trying my husband said "we'll appreciate it more when it happens" and he was so right. I am having twins (IVF finally worked just when my insurance was ready to pull the plug) and I cherish every ache, pain, everything and you will too!!! I feel so much more connected to the TTC people then the baby boards, it's hard to cross over. I hope you don't mind my 2 cents. God bless.

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes you feel horrible that your not pregnant but WHY TAKE IT OUT ON THE ONES WHO WERE BLESSED WITH BEING PREGNANT! NO ONE TOLD YOU TO GO AND LURK, THE BOARDS WERE CREATED FOR MOTHERS TO SHARE THEIR MOTHERLY EXPERIENCES AND EVERYDAY LIFE. NOT FOR LURKERS TO COME IN AND CRITICIZE THEM FOR EVEN BEING PREGNANT OR HAVING BABIES. YOU JUST SOUND LIKE A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT THAT DIDN'T GET HER WAY! THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO CAN'T CONCEIVE. WHY NOT ADOPT???? GIVE A CHILD WHO HAS NO FAMILY A GOOD HOME!!! INSTEAD OF FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF MAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE BETTER FOR A CHANGE

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jamie,
I know it has been many months since you posted this, but I totally agree with you. There are many days when I hate pg women, too. There--I said it, too--I HATE THEM. They complain about their discomfort and then have the nerve to say "relax, and it'll happen--your time will come." If I have to hear one more person say those words, I swear I'm going to sock somebody in the nose or take to drinking.

Men in general, and women who have not experienced infertility or miscarriage cannot possibly understand the desperation and emptiness that we feel. They have no idea how lucky they are not to have to wait 3 months for every RE visit and then get poked and prodded in places that shouldn't even see the sun. (Does anyone else feel totally violated by all the fertility tests and treatments? Or is it just me?) And, no baby to show for it.

And, I would like to address the judgmental comments made by the previous "anonymous." Yes, those of us who are going through infertility are upset by not getting what we want. However, for some of us, infertility is the result of a long list of things that have gone wrong that are no fault of our own. Life isn't fair, but is it too much to ask for someone to give us a break? It's extremely difficult to watch people who have led a charmed life win the baby prize when they haven't even had to run the infertility race that we're in. It feels like they cheated. Many of us have already suffered enough and infertility is the icing on the cake. For instance, I had a ruptured appendix as a kid and it resulted in a lot of physical problems which have led to both infertility and a phobia of doctors and tests. Now I'm trying to cope with physical pain from the adhesions as well as the emotional aspects of not being able to conceive. And I know that a lot of people are having experiences that are much worse. So please, give them a break when they need to vent.

Jamie, go ahead and vent on these blogs, and don't feel guilty. You're not harming anyone by venting here, and no one who has been through infertility should ever judge you for your jealousy and anger. I know we're all embarassed by our feelings of jealousy and anger, and we're all trying to get over them. But, the feelings are completely natural and venting on these blogs helps us get over them faster. Plus, if venting here helps you keep from flipping out to your dh, or at work or family gatherings where everyone else is pregnant, then go for it.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not sure how long it's been since this was originally posted, but all I have to say is "AMEN!"

I hate pregnant women so much right now, and I am not ashamed to say it. I don't care how miserable they might be, they should still be f***in grateful for the gift that they have.

I admit, I am extremely upset right now. Not only do I have to deal with a whiney pregnant woman at work, she flaunts the entire thing with storks with babies at her desk. We all know she's pregnant, the belly is a dead give-away, why rub it in?! And to top it off, my dr's office filled out the insurance paper-work wrong so instead of the procedure being listed as a D&C, it's listed as an elective abortion, and the insurance won't pay! How's that for a slap in the face when you already feel like crap.

I honestly think women should not be allowed to be pregnant until they have experienced either infertility or a miscarriage. I hate them all.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, the fact is, you're biologically defective and you're bitter about that. I get it. I'm not, however, and just because I'm not doesn't mean I don't get to complain about the discomforts of being pregnant. I'm lucky to be a normally functioning person, sure, but that doesn't exempt me from venting about my own discomforts. Maybe if you and other women like you, who are unable to reproduce, would not put so much stock and resentment into childbirth and focused on other ways to fulfill your life, you wouldn't have to hate normal women.

9:25 AM  
Blogger chrissi said...

I am 36 and never had kids pregnent women drive me nuts. the one next door to myself hates me because i told her i could care less about her preg. probs or what she just bought or anything else.Plus DO NOT ask me to watch your brat because u cant handle your preg. day! get a grip. If god wanted me to have a child he would not had taken away the plumbing i needed to do it with!

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you guys need to start being happy for others....you should not wish bad things upon others..if you had cancer would you hate your friends and family who did not?? you should not make a pregnant woman feel like shit for doing whats right for her..you need help if you can not be happy for others...

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 26 weeks pregnant and hate it. I wish I never got pregnant. I thought everything would be great, but it's not. Having kids doesn't make you happy. Pregnancy is not for everyone. I'll never go through this again. You hate pregnant women, well I hate being pregnant and wish I was infertile.

11:56 AM  
Blogger anon said...

To the woman who is 26 weeks pregnant- I never write on these blogs- i only ever read them, but what you have just wrote has made my blood boil!!
How dare you write on an infertility blog that you wish you wern't pregnant & that you wish you were infertile!!! You are a disgrace and should be ashamed of yourself. All the heartache these women have been through!
You dont deserve your baby!!!!!!

2:46 PM  
Blogger notthislittleblackduck said...

I don't hate, but I understand the 'evil thoughts'. Good ole' AF arrived the same day a co-worker announced she was pregnant. She's the EA where I work so she'll be getting LOTS of attention...
I hear you about the 18yo's trying for two whole months. I have to admit I feel the same about those who have 'secondary' infertility - at least they have one! At least they know they CAN get pregnant!!
Meanwhile, I'm trying to schedule some nasty inky xray... I'm sure it's one you're familiar with.
Good luck & I truly wish you all the best!
/Someone who's the same age as you...
//as for 'anonymous' above, I'm sure it's just a nasty troller, probably a guy...

3:34 PM  
Blogger The Ideal Wife said...

hey i just stumbled across your blog from a misdirected google search, and i just wanted to say that i identify with everything you said, as i feel the same way. as i was reading, so much of it rang true for me, and you have really inspired me. i started blogging yeaterday, thinking that it would give me an outlet for all of these thoughts and feelings that noone in the world seems to understand. thank you for taking the time to share your story, and lots of luck to you and hubby on this horrible ride.

12:09 PM  
Blogger bethany said...

I just wanted to say that right now I pretty much hate preg. women or women who just popped out a baby. I've been trying for 8months and still nothing, even exercise and trying to loose wait and vitamins aren't helping. We've done every freakin' position we can think of and still NOTHING. So now I have to go to the doc. on Nov. 13 to find out whats going on. If all else fails I'm going to try Ovulex. Idk if it'll work but I'm definetly going to try!

1:10 AM  
Blogger Duffeygal said...

I had to respond to this by saying, I HATE PREGNANT WOMEN!!! I have been TTC for about 7 years with no luck and I can not afford infertility treatments so I guess I am just stuck in the middle. Pregnant women make me sooo mad when they rub their huge bellies and thier baby showers and pink and blue bows on their mail boxes. I guess it is just jealousy but hey I am allowed to be jealous cause they get a baby and i don't. Another thing that makes me just as mad is the friends and family members that ask, "Oh when are y'all gonna start a family" or "why don't you have any kids" or "why don't you want kids". I just want to scream at them and tell them that not everyone can just snap their fingers and be pregnant. I could go on and on but the only thing that is doing is making even more mad about the who situation.

I know how you are feeling and I feel the same way so you are not alone.

Jennifer

8:12 AM  
Blogger Duffeygal said...

I had to respond to this by saying, I HATE PREGNANT WOMEN!!! I have been TTC for about 7 years with no luck and I can not afford infertility treatments so I guess I am just stuck in the middle. Pregnant women make me sooo mad when they rub their huge bellies and thier baby showers and pink and blue bows on their mail boxes. I guess it is just jealousy but hey I am allowed to be jealous cause they get a baby and i don't. Another thing that makes me just as mad is the friends and family members that ask, "Oh when are y'all gonna start a family" or "why don't you have any kids" or "why don't you want kids". I just want to scream at them and tell them that not everyone can just snap their fingers and be pregnant. I could go on and on but the only thing that is doing is making even more mad about the who situation.

I know how you are feeling and I feel the same way so you are not alone.

Jennifer

8:13 AM  
Blogger Rosie said...

I read these comments and was amazed at the anger and bitterness that came hurtling from the pages. Last month I gave birth to my daughter at 6 months knowing she had passed away, due to a disorder discovered during my pregnancy.I was devastated and still am. I know the upset and frustration of desperately trying to concieve and I know the terrible pain of losing a much wanted child. I also know that anger and hostility do nothing but bring you down further. It is people like us who are lucky to have the insights we do as a result of our experiences: we should feel privelledged that we would cherish every bout of morning sickness and sleepless night because we would be safe in the knowledge that we were on our way to realising our dream of having a child. For this reason, don't be angry with these women, PITY THEM. Due to our shared experiences we truly understand what a blessing carrying a child is. YOu will probably dismiss what I'm saying, but being someone who struggled to concieve and then went through the devastation of losing a child, I understand anger, pain and desperation all too well. I am not trying to critisise you for feeling the way you do, beleive me. I sincerely wish and hope that you realise your dreams x x

3:00 AM  
Blogger odonata777 said...

What a brilliant post, I have been TTC for 3 years, while all my friends have conceived, even those on the same infertility treatment as me. (I feel very lonely *sigh*)
I just can't be around them right now,but they can't understand and even shout at me for being so shallow! Why don't you want to be my kid's godmother? why won't you be there for me as i go through my pregnancy? why don't you want to meet up with all the other pregnant friends and talk about the joys of impending motherhood? Why won't you come shopping with me for maternity clothes and coo at cute prams and toys? Why? because it tires me out and makes me want to cry. I think I'll hang out with friends that consider my feelings just as much as i consider theirs. Pregnancy must do something to the brain that switches off consideration, tact and diplomacy. Oh and the last great phrase I heard at work today? "Time's ticking you know, tick tock!" Yeah, thanks.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Alexis said...

I know how you feel I have had 8 m/c's over the past 3years and now dh and I are trying again a year later with no luck at all. Through the years I've had all my friends get pregnant and know about my miscarriages and sent me baby shower invitations. I attended them all but i ended up crying in the bathroom by the end of the night. And now two more of my friends are pregnant and complaining about how the baby keeps them up at night with the kicking and they cant wait for it to be born. I wanted to tell them to shut the hell up I don't care. I'm only 23 years old and went through more then they know with their bastard children.

3:07 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

So I woke up bitter this morning, and decided to type "I hate pregnant woman" into google and your blog came up. AMEN girl, I work in a building of about 1000 people and a good 30 of them are pregnant. I smile, say congrats and PRETEND to be happyfor them upon hearing "their" great news. However, the complaining and the whining and the "fat" comments are TOO MUCH. I just want to yell, what the hell do you think having babies is ALL about, you think your fat, you have a baby inside...the miracle of life. I would give all of my freaking limbs just to GET pregnant, they have no clue how blessed they truly are! I HATE THEM, every one of them, young children having babies, just like that! It's not fair after 6 years TTC and NEVER a BFP;NEVER...It's not fair, my mind, body and soul will NEVER be the same because of my TTC battle!

All the best,

Step Mom
PEI, CANADA

10:19 AM  
Blogger whitepants4u said...

well....
maybe I AM NOT suppose to say this but here it goes.....all you PW haters are ridiculous. nature is about survival of the fittest. maybe you're not meant to reproduce. maybe that's nature's way of getting rid of the weak or no good genes that you are carrying in your dna.
being pregnant does suck, and i saw my best friend go through hell in her last pregnancy, she threw up so much she had to be hospitalized for 3 weeks.
so stop pretending that pregnancy is a piece of cake just because you cant go through it. sure you wish you could get pregnant, but that doesn't mean that pregnancy is easy or that PW's can't complain about the bitch side of pregnancy.

you want to throw up day and night until you get hospitalized, be my guest but don't hate on pregnant women just because they can say how much being pregnant SUCKS.

good luck you.
i hope you get pregnant soon and have really bad pregnancy symptoms, just so you can know what it feels like. since you want to know so badly.

grow up....there are pros and cons to everything in life......pregnancy included.

6:45 PM  
Blogger whitepants4u said...

well....
maybe I AM NOT suppose to say this but here it goes.....all you PW haters are ridiculous. nature is about survival of the fittest. maybe you're not meant to reproduce. maybe that's nature's way of getting rid of the weak or no good genes that you are carrying in your dna.
being pregnant does suck, and i saw my BF go through hell in her last pregnancy, she threw up so much she had to be hospitalized. so stop pretending that pregnancy is a piece of cake just because you cant go through it. sure you wish you could get pregnant, but that doesn't mean that pregnancy is easy or that PW's can't complain about the bitch side of pregnancy. you want to throw up day and night until you get hospitalized, be my guest but don't hate on pregnant women just because they can say how much being pregnant SUCKS.

good luck you.
i hope you get pregnant soon and have really bad pregnancy symptoms, just so you can know what it feels like. since you want to know so badly.

6:47 PM  
Blogger The Other One said...

Thank you for that last post!!! I'm sorry so many women have trouble getting pregnant, but projecting all that hate towards women who are pregnant is not helping. I love being pregnant, but there are days with pain and frustration and I need to vent. It is my God given right to vent at times, as long as I don't take my blessing for granted. That doesn't mean I go around hating all those skinny girls in their cute summer clothes complaining about a few unwanted lbs.
I'm sorry you are going through such pain and struggle. I will pray for you and your dream.

7:59 AM  
Blogger April said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:39 PM  
Blogger April said...

Well, I never post anything on these blogs, usually I just read them. I wanted to say that I understand why so many people with infertility problems hate pregnant women. It is upsetting that some of the previous bloggers don’t have any consideration what one goes through when having to deal with infertility. And infertility has nothing to do with “nature's way of getting rid of the weak or no good genes that you are carrying in your dna” as the previous post stated! I am 27 and extremely fit, I exercise daily and am a health freak when it comes to food, yet I have been TTC for 15 months now ---yet all of my friends who are getting pregnant are fat and overweight and eat gummy bears for breakfast. That’s a ridiculous accusation and that blogger should perhaps attend some science classes before making themselves sound so stupid!

In any case, to the bloggers who think that we have so much hate for pregnant women, I know that I don’t actually hate pregnant women, what I hate is when pregnant women constantly complain about their pregnancies. –Oh, and I do understand that pregnancy may not be a piece of cake and easy, and yes it sucks having to throw up everyday –but the fact that pregnant women constantly complain and do so in public places, next to me, and then expect me to empathize with them, and to feel sorry for them… when I want nothing more then to be in their situation! They are not considerate of other people’s feelings –and YES some of these pregnant friends who complain are my friends who know my situation and still have the guts to say “don’t you feel sorry for me?” --I want to say to them “NO” and yes, I would gladly take their situation.

And if you didn’t get that, maybe this will make sense to you --Its like complaining to a friend who is struggling to pay their rent that you are upset because you can’t afford your designer dress.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Taylor said...

are you kidding me? 1st of all you don't know the physical and/or emotional/mental hell some people go through when pregnant. 2nd of all those sites are for the PREGNANT women to talk to eachother about pain, discomfort, etc. 3rd of all- im pregnant right now and hell yah I complain but never have I said " i wish i wasn't pregnant " or " god damn this baby" . I am blessed to have this child. but these 9 months have been the worst thing i have ever been through physically in my life- i've been nauseous and vomiting everyday, nastey heartburn, Bad bad constipation, Hemmoriods, back/neck problems, gas pain, and a million other things, along with depression- not because of having my baby; this was preexisting but increased because of all of the hormones. I also had a scare about my baby having down syndrome, a scare about him not growing and them having to induce him months before the due date, and a two week hospital stay due to a kidney infection that could have taken me and his life if i didn't go to the hospital right away and get help. and to think that so many women do this alone, and go through ten times worse than what i did. and no one will say it wasn't worth it!! every last bit of pain is. 4th - these women are in a chat room for it; no stranger is coming up to you complaining. i just shared this now because i want you to know why i might complain once in a while but how greatful i am and always will be. 5th- is it not okay for people to have an outlet?? or should we close our mouths and bite our tongues during labor instead of screaming and letting it out? would that make you feel better? i'm sure if you could have a baby you would complain too, be compassionate and understand. i think you sound like a jealous, bitter person... hopefully that will change even if you can never have a child. if you do, know that that those characteristics don't make a good parent. stay out of blogs unless you can relate to them; it is pathetic

4:34 PM  
Blogger Taylor said...

it is okay for you to go bitch on infertility boards, right? that is what they are there for. and not every pregnant women takes things for granted. i sure as hell don't- i couldn't get pregnant for 4 years of trying. and just because some people complain does not mean they take it for granted. by all means some do, of course, but you can't say thatabout every pregnant women or you are just an ignorant moron/

4:42 PM  
Blogger Taylor said...

Jamie, go ahead and vent on these blogs, and don't feel guilty. You're not harming anyone by venting here, and no one who has been through infertility should ever judge you for your jealousy and anger. I know we're all embarassed by our feelings of jealousy and anger, and we're all trying to get over them. But, the feelings are completely natural and venting on these blogs helps us get over them faster. Plus, if venting here helps you keep from flipping out to your dh, or at work or family gatherings where everyone else is pregnant, then go for it.



someone said this, and she is right, you should go ahead and vent, but don't bitch when other people vent on their blogs.

12:00 PM  
Blogger kristal said...

hey im 18 years old and im six months pregnant.maybe u have kids by this time. i saw the date and it being a while since you posted the comment.but i don't like what you said about pregnant women. you sound so inmature about not being pregnant.i can undestand that you've been desperate but why bitch about pregnant girls. you are not a kid i am and you sound just like one. i have a sister who the doctor told she could't never have kids. but she never complained and sat on a fuckig computer making comments on how much she hates pregnant women. she never gave up now she's expecting a baby boy.

6:51 AM  
Blogger jpsk said...

Pregnant women understand and WANT to experience how precious having a child is. This doesn't mean that there's not a great deal of pain and discomfort in the process. This is why we go to pregnancy boards to express our feelings among other women facing the same trials- and if that's something that YOU don't understand, than stick to your infertility blogs.

11:52 AM  
Blogger j said...

@whitepants4u

You must be the stupidest person alive! How incredible that nature didn’t weed you out even though you clearly don’t have any common sense, and are extremely cruel to boot?! It was hilarious reading your comment where you explained your dim-witted stance that “Nature is about the survival of the fittest”. Hello. Were you even paying attention in science class? Having infertility is just like as having any other disease you half-wit. Let me explain with an analogy: Lets say you had breast cancer… you were feeling sad that you had breast cancer, but then someone came and said to you… hey maybe nature meant for you die out quickly because you were unlucky enough to get breast cancer. Same analogy can be used for ALL known diseases to man. Hey, you got AIDS? Tough luck… you were meant to be weeded out. And btw, you seem to be raging bigot as well. If a woman suffering from infertility wants to crib about it, the least a stupid person like you can do is ignore it. No one’s asking you to empathize. But don’t exhibit your own ignorance by trying to “explain” the cause of infertility with your hare-brained understanding of science. And as I see it, the “weak and no good” genes belong to YOU. And if you ever procreated… well… the rest is self-explanatory. Ha ha.

6:36 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

LISTEN YOU BITCH. FUCK YOU. HOW ABOUT, NOT WANTING TO BE PREGNANT BUT EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS MAKING YOU HAVE THIS FUCKING CHILD. IT WASNT MY CHOICE TO BE THIS SICK EVERYDAY AND IF I HAD MY CHOICE I WOULD HAVE A DAMN ABORTION.PREGNANCY IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE AND YOUR ASS SHOULD FEEL LUCKY THAT YOU CAN HAVE SEX ALLYOUWANT AND NEVER HAVE TO GET PREGNANT.

SO GO KILL YOURSELF YOU WHORE

11:18 AM  
Blogger Jazzy said...

I just stumbled across your post, and I have to say, as a woman who is 39 weeks pregnant and extremely miserable, I'm still grateful that my baby is healthy and alive. My mother lost my brother three days before he was set to be delivered. That's pretty damned tragic. I miscarried in January, two months before becoming pregnant with this baby. My best friend miscarried in January also, but her husband is unwilling to get pregnant again. I have another friend who is pregnant with a baby who isn't likely to last the full term, and if she does she will require open heart surgery two weeks after she is born, a procedure that is SERIOUSLY risky. I look at yet another friend who has had just two children out of 15 pregnancies. I know another friend who tried, unsuccessfully for three years to conceive before finally having her one and only child.

I still bitch about being miserable, because being pregnant is miserable. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean I'm any less grateful for my baby. I could be the one whose husband refuses to try again simply because he feels he's dodged a bullet when his wife miscarried. I could be the one who had 13 miscarriages, some during late stages pregnancy. I could be the one who has to wait and see if my baby will live full term, only to have to wait and see if she will survive heart surgery. I could lose my baby tomorrow and be just like my mother. Believe me, I may hate being pregnant; but I don't hate my baby, and I do NOT take it for granted.

Nevertheless, I can understand the frustration and aggravation of hearing others vent about that which you so desperately desire. I can imagine that I'd feel quite the same. I imagine that some of my closest friends feel much the same. And if your closest friends don't understand how deeply it's effecting you, that's a bloody shame. Just try to remember, though, not everyone can empathise with others. Some people can't even sympathise. And though it isn't much consolation, it isn't likely personal.

I wish you well with your endeavor to conceive. And believe it or not, acupuncture and massage DO help. The occasional pomegranate doesn't hurt either.

Take care.

9:24 PM  
Blogger Endo said...

I HAVE NOT been on any birthing club message boards, but I can tell you that I wholeheartedly agree with you. I had to havae a hyst at a very young age b/c of an illness. Now, all my friends/coworkers are starting to become pregnant....and oh, the whining! "i'm nauseous" "ican't fit into my clothes" "i'm tired". THese are the same women who told me it was all in my head when i would say that it's normal for me to throw up 3 out of 7 days of the week, or i can't wear certian clothes b/c they hurt, or no, i can't come out partying tonight. now, b/c they're PREGNANT, it's no longer in their head. Suck it up, people. you only have to deal with these symptoms for a short period of time---the context is very positive--and you *CHOSE* to become pregnant! some of us had to live with horrible illnesses like endometriosis or uterine cancer and we had to deal with these symptoms on an ongoing basis for *YEARS*---and guess what? there was no positive thing for us at the end of the day!!! and we didn't *CHOOSE* to become ill!!!! people really need perspective!!!

9:33 AM  
Blogger Jaime said...

I WHOLE HEARTEDLY agree with you. I have been TTC for 6 years. It is miserable to watch pregnant women. I have 2 sisters and a cousin pregnant right now and they are ALL due this may. ALL OF THEM. I find myself thinking the most hateful things about them. All of them got pregnant within the first 3 months of trying. And all of them do drugs and drink and hardly get along with their husbands. One of them wasn't even married yet when she got knocked up. Its disqusting.

ALL they do is sit around and rub their bellies and then ALL the family EVER wants to talk about is the upcoming babies. Sometimes I just wanna yell at the top of my lungs "EXCUSE ME!! DO YOU ALL NOT REMEMBER THEIR IS A PERSON HERE WHO DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK?!!"

Those girls don't deserve children. One sister only got pregnant so her husband wouldn't leave her. He was never going to but she thought he was so she stopped taking birth control without him knowing. Stupid bitch.

BTW my name is Jaime too. HA! So it is just strange how much we have in common. I do hate it when those whiney bitches talk about how miserable they are. But worse I hate it when they talk about how HAPPY they are.

Would you eat a sandwich in front of a starving man and then tell him about how good it was? Hell no. So why get pregnant and then rub it in my face about how great it is to have a baby? Its the same thing.

All of these girls knew what a tough time we were having getting pregnant too and none of them even thought to pre warn us that they would be TTC. They just went and got pregnant and then scheduled these huge family get-to-gethers to announce "the big news". As if we all already didn't know what it was. No one schedules shit like that unless they are engaged, its a holiday or they are pregnant.

Stupid bitches. Half the time I just wish they would take a long walk off of short bridges.

6:49 AM  
Blogger Bree said...

Hi
I lost my baby at 23 weeks in March. My sad, lost self googles the phrase, "I hate pregnant ladies," and your blog popped up. I love it. Thanks for amusing me this evening. I so desperately want to school rose preggy bitches about all the things that can wrong in a pregnancy. Get them to stop showing off their big bellies and u/s pics. Anyways, thank you for letting me vent my anger tonight.
Bree

9:33 PM  
Blogger eatmeprego's said...

fuck you why dont u adopt???? its fucking expensive thats why u cunt!!!! why dont u ungratfull , whinny , little prego bitches fuck ur selves and shut the fuck up and appreciate what u have..

8:42 PM  
Blogger eatmeprego's said...

i just want to say i also hate prego people and yes i am jealous! i Hate them because they send u pictures of their new baby right after u tell them u had a miscarriage. I hate them cause they send u pictures of their prego test right after u tell them u are depressed u may never have kids and u just give up, meanwhile they have 3 already!!! I hate them when u say ur ivf failed and they say u can have there kid . What the fuck ever, cool lets do it!!!! Give me ur fucking kid.. I just hate them.. I hate white trash people that have tons of kids just to let them crawl around and learn nothing or to collect money from baby daddies or do drugs and pawn the kids off , mean while i have to spend 20,000.00 to try and have a kid and fail.......

8:51 PM  
Blogger eatmeprego's said...

oh and dont get me wrong i dont want to piss on someones baby parade but if u do know what someone is going threw god can u have the curtasy to not send pictures of ur fuking prego test!!!! perhaps maybe not talking about how easy it is to get prego infront of the other person... i just wish everyone would sew it up. close down the shop. im sick of seeing u guys..

8:55 PM  
Blogger eatmeprego's said...

wow u abortion bitch!! well go get a fucking abortion then and stop being a fucking whinning little cunt!!! no one is making u do shit!! u are sick cause u are a fucking whore and chose to fuck and get prego so yeah u did chose to get sick u fucking ass !!

9:00 PM  
Blogger eatmeprego's said...

god this site is great!! lets off alot of fucking anger... thanks blogger site

9:01 PM  
Blogger kaos991 said...

I know this post is from like 5 years ago but....

I agree 1000000000000000%....

I have sooo very much pressure on me to have kids from everyone--my parents, my husband's family, my friends, even people I don't even know. It's sickening.

I DON'T HATE pregnant women, I just hate some of their unappreciative ways. YES they have the right to complain, YES they are miserable, but a lot of others also go through it. They CHOSE to get pregnant, even if they weren't trying, they still get to experience it and flaunt it like some new Mercedes.

Except us. The ones who can't conceive. The ones who are stuck in the corner, watching our friends and family have baby after baby.

What makes me the most upset: the ones who don't deserve kids. I have one friend who has a 9 year old daughter and is expecting another kid in March (2010) and she told me today, "I want a boy. If I have another girl, I'm gonna be so mad". I told her "I'd be happy with either." She despises her daughter (she's told me this)--the kid gets poor grades in school just so her mom will pay attention to her! How SICK is that!?

We've been TTC for 3 years now. My mom had me after 7 years of TTC, so it may happen, but it's such a slim chance. My husband has leukemia at a young age so it's taken a toll on him and we just decided that if it happens, it happens.

There are no alternatives to having your OWN child, to experience the 9 months of what some people call "hell". I'd give everything to experience morning sickness and baby kicks, even though I'd hate it! That would mean I'm that much closer to holding that miracle.

(Adoption & foster care are NOT for everyone. I know it would be great for a child to have a home, but it's just not for everyone and it IS expensive, it IS hard, and it IS a long time.)

I hope & pray for each and every one of you out there who are and have been TTC, and I wish everyone had to experience the need and desire of a baby before they could have one, just so they would appreciate it like WE would.

**I am not saying that those who can get pregnant don't appreciate their babies, but those who have been TTC have a different appreciation**

10:00 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

I LOVE this site! Brilliant!! All you pregnant bitches who want to bitch on here can PISS off this is not for you. Yea I'm jealous, why the fuck not. There's under age little whores and abusive mothers that drink and smoke and pop out a million little brats that they can't control and they end up abusing and hating their babies. How does Darwin explain that you dumb bitch. Life is so unfair. I'm so god damn sick of pregnant women jamming it down your throat all the time too... then when you tell them you don't have kids they pitty you and tell you oh one day, when the time is right.... oh you just have to enjoy sex, just relax it will happen bla bla bla, stick you pitty and advice up your ass!!! What are you a fucking doctor? Oh and the top one... "Oh it didn't take me any time at all" like that's suppose to make me feel better.. I think everyone at least at some point should experience infertility as well as all the invasive and painful doctors procedures maybe they they would learn to count their blessings and shut the fuck up.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Distressed Diva said...

YOU ABSOLUTELY STUPID BITCH! TRY BEING 26, NOT MARRIED, NO CHILDREN, NOT EVEN A DAMN DOG OR CAT. HOW ABOUT THAT? HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? I HATE YOU, NOW HOW DO YOU FEEL?

9:29 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

I am 31 weeks pregnant (unplanned). My fiance and I split up a few months ago. I can't say I understand how you feel about pregnant women for obvious reasons, but I can relate in another way. I get really sick of women saying how hard it is when their hubby is at work or can't make it to the ultrasound appointment or goes away for a weekend to a funeral. They bitch and complain about EVERYTHING their hubby does or doesn't do, which is all very minor stuff in my opinion. I left my fiance because he had become verbally abusive and extremely controlling after I found out I was pregnant. I don't have anyone to share my highs and lows (mostly highs) with through this pregnancy. I go to every appointment, every ultrasound, every baby store, etc. ALONE. I deal with snarky comments about being pregnant and single and people look down their noses at me. It INFURIATES me when I see these women whining because their hubby won't give them a foot massage after he's been at work for 12 hours...or he forgot to take the dog to the groomer this morning. They talk divorce over these things! IMO, they should be thankful they are not in my situation and have someone to share this pregnancy with and to lean on in the harder times. I will add that you shouldn't hate us all...I am one of those who LOVES being pregnant and doesn't take one moment for granted. There are also lots of women on my birth board who TTC for a LONG time before becoming pregnant and they STILL bitch constantly about the aches and pains. :) Good luck and best wishes to you!

11:15 AM  
Blogger Myaushka said...

On the other hand, listen to yourself complaining... Everyone complains about what is happening to THEM, and you never know how it feels until you're there, in that situation. And the other way around...

12:32 AM  
Blogger Caroline Byrne said...

Congratulations to you on having a successful blog. 50 comments, wow!
So interesting to see human nature at play in these mixed responses to your heartfelt journey. The fertility war is alive and kicking. Isn't it interesting how you have been berated and how many ugly-minded women have tried to upset you with their immature mindsets, and oh yes they intend to hurt, as they wield thier fertile powers over those of us who cannot conceive. Here's what i do when people ask me why i cant have kids: i ask them would they complain of a stubbed toe to a person in a wheelchair and then i tell them that i dont need advice as i have tried acupuncture and ivf and fuXXing pomegranates! But i ask for a hug and tell them that's all they can do. And yes I will adopt one day, but not for now, I have to heal first. best of luck to you all xx

7:16 AM  
Blogger Caroline Byrne said...

Congratulations to you on having a successful blog. 50 comments, wow!
So interesting to see human nature at play in these mixed responses to your heartfelt journey. The fertility war is alive and kicking. Isn't it interesting how you have been berated and how many ugly-minded women have tried to upset you with their immature mindsets, and oh yes they intend to hurt, as they wield thier fertile powers over those of us who cannot conceive. Here's what i do when people ask me why i cant have kids: i ask them would they complain of a stubbed toe to a person in a wheelchair and then i tell them that i dont need advice as i have tried acupuncture and ivf and fuXXing pomegranates! But i ask for a hug and tell them that's all they can do. And yes I will adopt one day, but not for now, I have to heal first. best of luck to you all xx

7:16 AM  
Blogger Ajanay said...

ok so i dont know how long ago this was and yes im yung very yung im 17 and ive been trying for a 1 year idc if u say im stupid but i want it and im ready... ive m/c twice in that yr and then told the 2nd time that i might die and should wait a few years...i'd never wish anything bad on these pregnant women but they dont understand and i hate how they try to make things seem better for those who have m/s by sayin oh at least u dont have to go thru this and afford that...I dont care i want to do that...duh ...neways hmph i hate them

9:43 AM  
Blogger Erika said...

Wow!
You couldn't have said it any better. I'm 29 and I've been trying to get pregnant for nearly four years. I've never conceived. I just got my husband to admit something is wrong and he is finally submitting a semen analysis.

It feels like my time is running out. Meantime, three women at my job are expecting. Fantastic for me. They all expect me to smile and buy them something for their baby showers. Whatever! I'll do it. Lucky for me, everyone thinks I hate children.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

This post is from forever ago, but I would just like to say, have fertility issues makes me realize how much I cherish everything else in my life. Having a baby will never happen for me, but it's happening for all of my friends just as I found out my diagnosis, so I am happy for them, but I cry silent tears that only others with fertility issues cry. People on this board need not post their opnions unless they have walked in another persons shoes and know what it feels like. Imagine if those little bundles of joy that fill your house with giggles and tiny shoes never exsisted. So log off the Damn computer and give them a hug and thank God for all of his gifts, don't take it for granted because he can just as fast take it away. I am learning slowly to fill my life in other ways with happiness and joy, but it takes time. Infertility is equivelant to death. and we all need our time to mourn, get angry, scream, and give in. So be gentle. Pregnancy hurts, as I have experienced the joys and never ending vomiting, but it hurts more, it hurts deeper knowing that you can't carrier a pregnancy to term....... sigh, only i can change this empty feeling.

12:35 PM  
Blogger SqueakyWheel said...

I'm a woman in my late 30s who has never been married. I would like to be married.

If you're an infertile woman, and if you would like to have a baby and cannot (or have not), but you have a husband, you really ought to be grateful to at least have a spouse.

It seems to me that women who fixate on their childless status take being married for granted.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Kara said...

I came across your page and read it eeventhough I shouldnt have because I am one of those "pregnant bitches" you referred to. As I read your page, I thought I would be angry from the things you said but instead, I am not. I am 3 months along, and I am scared to death I am going to do something to hurt the baby every single day. What I came to know is that no matter how "by the book" you are, and no matter how well you take care of yourself, it is ultimately all in God's hands. Not mine. I know you could care less or whatever, but I do understand where you are coming from. Just be patient and know that it will happen for you. And when it does you will be a great mom too. Hang in there. :)

2:54 PM  
Blogger Verve Girl said...

10 failed IVF cycles, a miscarriage and now a hysterectomy. I have tried so hard to have a baby, but infertility took over. No one can possibly understand the disease of infertility unless they have experienced it themselves. It is both physically and emotionally painful and draining.
There have been some very nasty comments posted by bloggers. Pregnant women have absolutely no idea how we infertiles feel. Each month after an embryo transfer, we are pregnant, we feel pregnant due to all the hormones. We have seen our little babies (ie. embryo's) on a screen. Each month we grieve for the loss of that baby when we find out the cycle hasn't worked. I would still rather throw up all day with morning sickness the go through the pain of infertility. And the blogger who said it was nature;s way..... well what makes you think that you are a better mother than I would have been?
Love and hugs to all the infertile women..... we are one of kind and we need to support one another fertile women want us brushed under the carpet.

1:25 AM  
Blogger jezzabelle said...

WOW...there really is some awful posts on here...infertile womens jealous scorn and pregnant womens nasty tounges...terrible...i feel ashamed reading this blog i do...infetile women saying to become pregnant a woman must endure miscarriges and infertility...pregnant woman saying they wish theyd had abortions...its disgusting..i had anorexia as a young teenager and f*****d up my periods and for years i worried how i had affected my fertillity and if i ever would be able to have kids...my the love of god i concieved sucessfully and i am grateful for every pain, ache, and period of morning sickness...pregnant woman should not brag or show off unintentionally but infertile woman should not blame woman who can concieve...your all as bad as each other...your both moaning if your pregnant or not...i wish you all the best bloggers...if your struggling to concieve i hope u get your dreams and appreciate them if your pregnant, show consideration and be grateful.please
thianks
jezzabelle

12:26 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

No there is nothing wrong at all with feeling this way. I am 7.5 months pregnant and I feel very lucky. I myself suffered for years TTC and I will never forget the pain and hate I felt towards pregnant women. Not all of them, mostly the ones that carried on all the time and complained about every little ache and pain then once their precious little baby was born they complained about sleepless nights ect... So ungrateful. People who can fall preganant at the drop of a hat have no idea and say the absolute dumbest and hurtful things. I used to google I hate pregnant women all the time for a bit of a laugh at the blogs and to feel a bit normal, there's nothing wrong with that, you need that release. I don't know your situation and I'm not going to say it will happen to you but... it may and if it does, it will be so wonderful and you will appreciate so much more than you can ever imagine and you will be so much more grateful than all the whinnny pregnant women that can pop out dozens of babies. I used to get so upset when I thought I was never going to be a mom, but then one day I decided that no matter what I would make that happen, somehow. I knew I didn't have power over how that would happen but I was able to make it happen whether it be natural, IVF or adoption, I did have that. And that make me feel a bit better, and I wrote my baby a letter, and promised him/her of all the wonderful things I would be able to do and all the hopes and dreams I had for it. It was a huge release and made me feel so much better. Months later I ended up pregnant. Yes being pregnant can be unconfortable and I had morning sickness and ended up over night in hospital but it hasn't been that bad, not nearly as bad as going though fertility treatments and not knowing. It's weird but the sicker I feel the happier I am because it feels real and I know if I hadn't gone through the fertility troubles I wouldn't be this grateful. I wish all TTC women reading this the best. And to pregnant women that come on here to be nasty, remember what goes around comes around, nothing about your pregnancy or baby is guarented, so think about that before you decide to say nasty things to people you don't know and situations you are obviously clueless about.

6:11 PM  
Blogger mediavilla21 said...

I am 27 weeks pregnant and too have feelings of regret and let me tell you it is no cake walk. I never imaged getting pregnant and then wishing I wasn't before I got pregnant. It is a feeling that you hold with deep shame and embrassment. Sometimes you need to find people who feel the same way so it can make you feel alittle better. Maybe thats why women go on those sites and vent to people who are in the position to understand what you are going through. I wish everyone who is trying to conceive the best of luck but the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

8:47 PM  
Blogger SoniaAashish said...

I hate pregnant women,I got pregnant with IVF after a long wait...then had bleeding in the first 6 weeks was put on bed rest for 6 weeks, lost my job JUST CUZ I WANTED to save the pregnancy. I have a beautiful daugter now, but now all her friends Moms are pregnant n again I'm not. God did bless me once I wish I get blessed again, BUT I STILL HATE HATE HATE pregnant women (even pregnant second time women....Bitches) Cant respect and be thankful for what they have. I had primary n now secondary infertility. This pregzilla keeps amking personal comment on me and says she is doing it beacuse her pregnancy hormones make her snappy n bitchy. I HATE HATE HATE pregnant women who are PREGZILLA"S they shud NEVER get to be pregnant. They dont appreciate it n shud not be given it...or if given taken away !

12:03 AM  
Blogger Juanita said...

I don't want to seem prejudice so I will just say this. I hate all people who don't understand what losing a child feels like. I lost my sone at 22 weeks last August, and still cry about it while I am at work. Everyone says, you can adopt, or have another one. Why do people feel as though you can replace one baby with another? Adopting would break us monetarily and make me even more angry at the fact that someone didn't want their baby. No one understands what I am going through, and no one ever will. I don't know about you guys, but life after losing a child sucks. I HATE PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!! God that felt good. Every single point in every single blog on this page is understandable, but women who have never lost a child will never understand until it happens. Everything you had a just gone in a matter of moments. You don't sleep, you don't eat, you don't care. That is what living your life after losing a child is like...Empty.

10:00 AM  
Blogger flasidl said...

Hm, where stupidpants, pardon, whitepants would've place Stephen Hawking, between good or bad dna carriers?
Both me and my husband are healthy, smart (yes, I'm not ashamed to write it) and my husband is a great parent. Hi has 3 adorable kids - 35 (older thn me, haha:-) 14 and 10. So stupidpants your comment simply doesn't make sense.
Right now I hate preggo women. Almost all of them. At the same time my friend that has an unplanned babe is an angel - she just acts humanly, without nasty and not-diplomatic comments. On the other hand some people do things that are hard to believe. When my mom asked my once again when the baby will come i sent her a message that we are trying and it doesnh happen and we are going to start with doctors. And i didnt receive any answer! Weird. Second and thirf, and this are the most stupid thing Ive ever heard: wife of my dh's son bearing a boy (we didnt know it untill she was 6 months pregnant, fuck, she does too much to split the family) said "Oh, doesn't matter, it's good even if it's a boy, it will brong happiness." WTF, and girls do not bring happ.??????? She wanted a girl because in my husband's family there is no a girl for sth. like 70 years so she could be the one who finally gave birth to one and because of that to be warsipped. It makes me sick! And the other thing was the question of her mom adressed to me: "Oh, my dear:-/ so what will be the name of the girl if you will be pregnant with one?" What!!!!!????? Choosing a name is a problem? OMG. The real thing she wanted to know is: are we planning to have a baby, because if not then her daughter as a wife of my husbands son will have a bigger part of my husbands fortune. It pissed me off. Especially because those people where acusing me behind my back that i'm a young bitch that doesnt love the man with whom she is i a relation and onpy thinks of money. They shut up when found out that Im coming from a pretty rich family. And that pissed me off even more, because, WTF am I because of that a better person?
So, I HATE PREGNANT WOMEN WHO DOnT APPReCIATe their pregnancies and LIKE BEING BItChY. What goes around comes around and they will pay for that. Even more than the previously mentioned thing I HATE WOMEN WHO BECOMES Pregnant IN ORDER to ManIPULATe with someone. For GoD's sake, ithey don't deserve to have kids because of their selfishness.

4:05 AM  
Blogger Daniellelesfille said...

Pregnancy is a very special time for a women that doesn't happen very often. So of course these pregnant women are going to want to express there joys and concerns to you. When I was pregnant I was so excited and I was thankful for the support and love I got from my friends and family. If I had a friend or even family member tell me I was a terrible person for expressing my happiness for having a baby id be upset. I understand that what you're going through is hard but hating on someone's joy is wrong. Lets just say for example I wanted nothing more than to go to Paris for vacation but didn't have the money and then one day my friend tells me how she's going to Paris. Yes I would be upset but I shouldn't rain down on her parade. I should be a real friend and be happy for her. I would also like to add that being pregnant isnt easy. I'm beyond thankful for my ds, but constant morning sickness, throwing up mucos all the time, not gaining enough weight, finding out that ds had fluid in his kidneys, not being able to sleep, back aches, giving birth, etc were not fun. And parenting is no cake walk either. I would never trade in my son for the world but until you've experienced it yourself you shouldn't complain about pregnant women. If you so desperately want to start a family why don't you look into adoption? Adoption is a wonderful thing that even I, someone who can get pregnant, wants to do one day. There are a ton of children out there who need the love of a mother and father. Yes I understand that the adoption process is a long and hard one but so is fertility treatment. If you can spend years on fertility treatments then I'm pretty sure you can spend time on adoption (if you chose to go that route, which I don't see why you wouldn't if you so desperately want a child and can't have one).

8:37 AM  
Blogger Caitlin said...

Both side of the argument is filled with selfish "me, me, me" women. You all think you have it the worst because you are not able to relate to others. You know who has it the worst? The babies. Both the ones the complaining pregnant women have and the countless children who die in a mother's selfish bid to have a baby of her own. 15 pregnancies and 13 miscarriages? After two or three its more like murder or baby torture. You know you are probably bringing someone to life just to die but you are so selfish because you have to stay competitive with other women. Shame on all of you. What is wrong with adoption? Yeah its expensive, but should you really be trying so hard to have a baby if you can't afford it? Oh right, I forgot, you want the attention of being pregnant. Remember what its really about: the baby, not you. Pregnant women are getting their time to shine but they don't demand nearly as.much attention as a woman constantly bemoaning their infertility. Especially when the same woman scoffs at adoption. Stfu and deal with the downside in life lie everyone else!

3:01 AM  
Blogger buhogrunon said...

Wow, so full of yourself. You think that because pregnancy and having children is a magical thing, simply because it's important to you. Have you ever considered the other side of the argument? I'm completely tokophobic, you wouldn't believe what I would do to be infertile like you. Sounds horrific doesn't it? It's not so nice to hear it from the other side but this is how I feel. I wish I could give my ability to have children to you, but I can't. The fact of the matter is that everyone has a different view point, and the world isn't going to carefully place itself around you so as not to get you upset. So stop whining that people aren't tiptoeing around you and try to be sympathetic to the fact that these women complaining are probably finding pregnancy difficult, your problems aren't the only problems in the world.

11:18 AM  
Blogger CrystalCorrin said...

How do you know those women don't know how precious pregnancy is? Of course they know! I had a hard time getting pregnant, it took me five years to get pregnant with each of my children, and I still complain about being pregnant! Just because people complain about being uncomfortable doesn't mean they don't appreciate the fact that they were able to conceive. Maybe your piss poor attitude is the reason you haven't been "blessed" with a child.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Natalie Ybarra said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Natalie Ybarra said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Natalie Y said...

This was put up a while ago, but I'll comment any ways.
My husband and I are 26 weeks along, and happy as can be. Nothing is better then feeling our son grow and try to be the karate kid, we are thankful everyday and are counting down the days till he will be here with us and we can hold him for the first time.
If you are pregnant and happy about it, dose not mean that we don't fear every signal day that something will got wrong or that some how we to will fail and lose what we have inside of us. We know how blessed we are to be growing our babies.
That being said yes it's a gift, but it is also a very hard and uncomfortable road. Some women are sick and throwing up the whole time! Some get SPD and can't walk some days. Some women have a hard hard time, and it is nice to be able to complain with women who are going through what you are. We don't only bitch the whole time, you just keep going to the boards and clubs where we feel safe to bitch.
So if you don't like having to listen and read what us ungrateful bitchy prego bitches have to say, then don't go! Your not in the same group as us, so stay out.
I wish you luck in getting pregnant, and getting to have your own. But when you do I'm sure that you will change your tune and be bitching on these boards with us.
On the note of some of these comments about having to see your friends pictures of new babies and what not. SHAME on you!!! Yes you can't and yes they are sad with you. But come on! That's your friend, and they are just happy and excited and want to share it with the world. Yes you can't have a baby, but your friend is getting a new addition to their family! This baby will be around them forever now. Get over yourself and be excited to. Because chances are, your friend was by your side with your bad news.
Sorry but I cried with my friend when she lost hers, and she cried for joy with me when we found out. Real friends are there for the good and bad, and just because they get the good does not mean that you should rain on their parade

5:50 PM  
Blogger Domonique said...

Wow! In case you havent noticed this page is for people who have miscarried. Get your happy pregnant complaining ass where you belong, on a different forum. As someone who has recently miscarried, you sound like a bitch and miscarriage is literally a death! A loss of a life no matter how small! So "get over it" is not only heartless but ignorant. Go fuck yourself!

7:20 AM  
Blogger Johnson Briney said...


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4:37 AM  
Blogger Gemini said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Gemini said...

Well said Dominique. And Anonymous you really need to realise your audience. By the way capitals are used to denote shouting and there's no need to be that rude if your argument has merit. Misunderstanding of the pain of miscarriage is one thing but your deliberate aggression and ignorance just goes to prove some of the op's points.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Gemini said...

Some days you feel you need to vent. Some days others need to vent.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Gemini said...

I feel the same way. I have a friend on Facebook who got pregnant miraculously after thinking she was infertile. Only found out she was pregnant at 8 months. What a wonderful miracle. I was thrilled for her. She's now pregnant with her 3rd child and all she does is whine on Facebook about how she's so sick of being pregnant and it breaks my heart every time. It's one thing to go to a pregnancy blog and vent but on social media it just feels like attention seeking.

11:47 AM  
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9:31 PM  
Blogger Midnight Graves said...

I hate that all my friends on Facebook are pregnant and I'm not. I think its just that time of year or some thing. I'm 19. I haven't been "trying" per set, but I'm not using condoms or what ever. It's been about a year. At least I'll always have my video games and hatred for the terrible people you see go viral on the internet to keep me occupied...

9:55 PM  
Blogger lee mason said...

i want to thanking God for what he did in my life through Dr MASADE with his roots and herbs.Dr IYABIYE who God sent to the world for my sake,i once brought my daughter who has suffered barrenness for 12years to him and he treat her with his roots and herbs.God confirm the word of his servant in her life and to the glory of God as at today,she is carrying her own baby on her back.i want to thank you once again Dr MASADE for the help and the happiness you have brought in my life any stander out there trying to conceive or facing miscariage email Dr MASADE without wasting your time for the solution of your problem email via: masadeinstanthelp@gmail.com

4:52 PM  
Blogger Turtle said...

Over-sharing is popular, that's all. I think though with people who mention their infertility, it makes others feel icky because y know, theyre talking about their sex life.

6:36 AM  
Blogger Roxy Cauldwell said...

If you're infertile, fucking foster! These days it's selfish when you can foster! I hate pregnancy in general, I love kids, but I don't ever want any. FO. STER.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Shelley Matthews said...

Biologically defective? Wow! That is a real bitchy comment.

6:17 AM  
Blogger literally laura said...

What on earth is going on here? This is a thread for women with fertility problems, the person who wrote the original post and admitted "lurking" on a pregnancy website, didn't condemn the women she criticised on their own forum - she came here, to her place of sanctuary and told us about it instead. If you're a pregnant woman "lurking" on our infertility page then you're a hypocrite to criticise her, and if you post negative comments on here (where they are likely to hurt and offend people), rather than doing what she did and going back to your own group to vent, then you're not only a hypocrite but you're clearly an insensitive idiot.
Turtle, if talking about sex is "icky" maybe your not old enough to be on this website. Those of us going through fertility treatments have been prodded, poked, injected and examined sideways, we've had more conversations about sperm and eggs than you'd care to imagine and embarrassment has long become a thing of the past.
After 11 years of trying to conceive with my husband, 3 cycles of IVF and ICSI, 1 pregnancy, 1 miscarriage and still no children, I know exactly what the trauma of infertility and baby loss feels like. Just as all the mothers out there would say that we have no idea of the bond they share with their children, they have no idea of the pain we feel without them. How dare they come on here and pass judgement or try to incite anger, what kind of women are they?! The ones who said "why don't you just foster or adopt" clearly have no experience in this area either. Couples spend years trying to get pregnant and the adoption process is by no means easy, it's long winded and expensive, you cannot even begin the process until a year after your last attempt at fertility treatment, and couples can be discounted for some really ridiculous reasons. Would adoption really stop the pain of being unable to create a biological family with your spouse?
If you're a pregnant woman then unless you have something nice to say, please go away and comment on your pregnancy pages. If you're a child who knows nothing about sex and adult problems, go outside and play with your friends, don't waste your childhood on us! And if you're simply a troll whose looking to get a rise, then I truly hope that when your time comes your completely out of eggs or your sperm is totally useless.

10:00 AM  
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8:48 PM  

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