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Monday, November 15, 2004

Ridding the world of injustice.... THE INFERTILE

I love you Ollie... you are the total inspiration for this post!!!! http://www.oliviadrab.com/infertile/OD1.jpg
Today... I channeled THE INFERTILE and she beat the shit out of some Asshats!!!

I started so much shit on the Pregnancy Weekly (Actively Trying page) today that I should be ashamed... but... I am not. In fact I am quite proud of my posts and hope the pregnant idiots that were fighting with me get hemorrhoids.

I must say that contrary to my post last month entitled "I Hate Pregnant Women" (http://babywait.blogspot.com/2004/10/I-hate-pregnant-women-there-I-said-it.html)... I don't in fact hate them all... just the ones who now want to visit the TTC webpage and give assvice on how I "should" be feeling, acting, dealing, reacting, praying, and living. Those are the bitches that I whipped up on today. I had a MAJOR moment as THE INFERTILE (aka Ollie's brilliantness... I LOVE you!!!) And lets just say I kicked some overbearing, asshat wearing, smack talking, stupidity preaching, pregnant ass!

First there was the girl who was posting about taking the acne medicine accutane and getting pregnant and how her pharmacist said that it is not that bad... hello you fucking moron....

Then there was the sweet wide eyed ingenue who wanted to give us the "just relax and it will happen for you" Asshole.

Then there was the vengeful pregnant lurker who yelled at me for telling the accutane princess that it was certainly NOT ok to get pregnant on that drug because of the SEVERE birth defects it causes... This bitch was a winner... she basically said I was "mean and hateful and filled the board with negativity on a daily basis...." Fuck you!!!!!!!!!! I am negative but only because asshats like you have made me that way!!!!!!!

Then... there was this beautiful post... I am proud to say this idiot got her ass handed to her on a plate...

"I have been watching this board for a few months and have a question. How many here want to have a baby, and how many want to be pregnant? They are two different things. I know that adoption is not always easy, however it is very apparent that neither is pregnancy for some people. I have never had a hard time getting pregnant, but have a friend who has spent five years and untold thousands of dollars trying to get and stay pregnant. It baffles me that she would become so focused on being pregnant when, if she really wanted to be a mother, she could have been there by now. She could have put a child through college with the money she has spent. Why? Does the focus change away from motherhood to pregnancy at some point? Is there a sense that you are missing out on something if you don't get to be pregnant? "

STUPID FUCKING TROLL!!!!!!!!


Finally my parting advice to the pregnant lurkers on the PW TTC board....

PREGNANT WOMEN PLEASE STOP... by Jamie

Please stop posting advice that begins with "I have never had trouble getting pregnant but..."

Please stop "lurking" on this page and the disciplining us when we have an opinion that is not cheerful.

Please stop posting pictures of your babies and asking us to "vote" for them in a contest.

Please stop calling us bitter or angry or depressed or sad or any other adjective that you come up with to describe our negative feelings and how they are bad.

Please stop asking us about our miscarriages.

Please stop posting about how you "finally got pregnant" after 3 long months on this page...

Please continue to support us but only if you can refrain from being so insensitive!
Jeez.

So that was my day... I was consumed with rage and took it out on a bunch of pregnant lurkers on my TTC board. I got absolutely NO work done today... Was in a funk and it felt good to speak my mind.

Here is the link if you want to re-live my day... I post under jampri...
http://www.pregnancyweekly.com/community/forum_thread.asp?forum_id=266&forum_title=Actively+Trying

A special thanks to all my friends on PW who stood up for me... Especially my super buddy ErinD!!! I lourve you girl!!!!!!

Now I will slip out of my THE INFERTILE halloween catsuit and get into my warm jammies, have some warm milk, and go to bed.

16 Comments:

Blogger Ollie said...

WOW. I am honored that The Infertile inspired you.

I have to say that what you posted is dead on, and I can't believe how much flak you caught. You were defending yourself and others and they slammed you for it. Unreal. It is incredible how insensitive people can be when they aren't even aware they are doing it.

Pregnant women who've known little struggle, I think, don't always empathasize because it is too painful to consider what it would feel like. (Don't get me wrong, I do believe there are many pregnant women who do understand or try hard too, and they are highly appreciated.) But unfortunately, pregnancy often creates the biggest Asshats wielding their Sword of Assvice. I am sorry you had to confront them, and be ridiculed for defending yourself. That's just not right.

Relax. Ugh. The worst.

3:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know your pain.(5 years ttc). I had to endure a family lunch where the topic of conversation always includes me and when I will be pregnant and is there a problem and who has the problem. It also includes phrases like " I just have to think about getting pregnant and I do." Why do we allow this insensitive witches to get under our skin?

5:51 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

I have the queen of all asshat, assvice comments, courtesy of my sil* who is pregnant with twins (this will be 5 for her and my bro*). When she learned I've been ttc for a while she said (drum roll please)...."Just come down and sit on my toilet!" 'cause that's how she got pregnant, I suppose. Not only is it the worst assvice ever, but the statement and its implications creep me out, frankly.
Oh, she also had a miscarriage in June, a few months after mine and told me that it was a "blessing." Then she got pregnant again before she even got her period back!! With twins!!! Without wanting to, supposedly!!!

*(disclaimer) The statements in this post should in no way, now or in the future, be interpreted as meaning that I do not love and care for my sil, my brother, or their children. The above statements only allude to specific assvice given by said sil, wife of said bro. They are lovely people and wonderful parents.

-Erin (aka, ErinD)

6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jamie,

I was extremely proud of you on the PW board. I really enjoyed watching you tear into those stupid and insensitive assholes! It made me feel a lot better. Erin and Heather also did a great job! All of ya'll are great....

Hope today is better!

Chasity

6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a lurker on the TTC board only because I don't like all the drama that gets stirred up there, but I am TTC and went through almost 3 years of TTC with my first. I saw your post about leaving PW and wanted to invite you to 2 other wonderful and supportive boards if you're looking to find another. One is www.babybeginnings.net and the other is www.oasismoms.com. They are actually sister sites, Oasis is the smaller of the 2, but a very friendly group of women who would welcome you with open arms and I can honestly say there is little to no drama, just a group of caring women. My name is Susan and I post as goddess_mama over there, and if you know Erin and Joey, she's a member at Oasis as well.

Good luck with your journey, I hope you get that second line very soon.

Susan

6:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you, hee hee.

I kind of think of it this way...people are not born with the knowledge of how to act properly, they have to be taught by their parents or in social situations. Somehow, some people escape these life lessons on sensitivity and how it's not all about them and I figure that they are just simply asking to be taught and by pointing out their idiocies, I am doing them a favor.

xxxooo,
Emily
scrambledeggs

9:11 AM  
Blogger Toni said...

Good for you girl!!! Sorry it's so bad. I'm on the sheknows message boards - they're super supportive over there - and we don't get crazy trolls like that!

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, man - I had to go check out the accutane post.

I hate the whole "Oh, but you should be supportive, even of people doing stupid, dangerous fricken things!! Lets have a group hug and be touchy-fricken feely and lie about birth anomalies!"

Frick.

Good for you for telling it like it is, no pulled punches, no asshat "honey, maybe you should stop the accutane, sweetie, honey, dearie." And good on you for telling all the babyduster and just-relaxer and oh-it-happened-to-me-when-I-let-go-and-let-Goders what their words actually mean.

But - was Accutane Girl a fricken troll? Check out her pics from her profile link. She's only been on Accutane for 3mos - but her pics from September certainly look clear-skinned... and funny how she didn't know the actual effects of the drug she claimed to be on ("oooh, I didn't know it reduced the effects of BCP!"). What a maroon.

Ra-ra.

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say how proud of you I am...and I wish I had the guts you have when I was ttc. My hubby and I tried (before we were married) for 5 years and once we were married went to a fertility specialist. (due 3/25) That took almost 3 years but finally worked. It is so hard to ignore people when they are telling you to relax and I used to want to punch people in the face. I had a sil who used to always say to me "take my kids for a weekend and that will cure you of wanting kids". I turned so cold to people...and it was horrible. People don't understand that "just relaxing" doesn't work, people don't understand what you are going through and should keep their mouths shut. When people would say to me "when are you and DH going to have a baby" I started screaming back at them..."you shouldn't ask people that...it's not so easy for everyone!!" and they shut up! I am so mad at the way people are treating you on the PW board. Screw them all!!! I wish you all the best...sounds like you are a wonderful person...and with all that love to give you WILL be a wonderful mom someday! Good luck & god bless. P.S. I hope I didn't offend you by responding...just wanted to let you know that not everyone is an ass!

7:48 AM  
Blogger rm said...


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8:07 PM  
Blogger rm said...


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9:28 AM  
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7:15 AM  
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9:10 AM  

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