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Sunday, March 27, 2005

I hate size 10...

Today is Easter Sunday... or better known to me CD 26...

Mr. D and I have no real plans today... In fact it is 2 pm and we are still in our jammies. We made a nice breakfast this AM of cheese egg and bacon (toast for him... I am saving my carbs for later...) We have watched a movie and pretty much layed around all morning... Tonight we will go to his sisters house for dinner for a (hopefully) uneventful and merlot filled evening of fake talking to family that you love... but don't really like.

Yesterday I went shopping and bought 2 cute polo's (white and pink)and 2 little cardigan (green and pink)... plus two pair of capri cargo pants (white and blue) for the summer... The pants were size 10... I hate size 10. Especially since I think these were extra big size 10 since I can't even wear a 10 at Banana Republic and Gap because my stupid thighs are to big... I am the weight now that I always imagined myself being at about 6 months pg... I weigh 151.5 in the morning ... naked... before I have had coffee... I am 5'6"... I am not "fat" but I am now getting "chunky"... and I think that places that have until now looked normal my face, my arms, my belly... are now looking pudgy... Anyway.. my new pants are size 10... 6 years ago I was a size 6... I wish they were size 6. Someday.. I am going to pull myself together and lose the 25 pounds that I have put on since high school... I need to weigh 125 again before I turn 40... so that gives me 7 years to do it...

I am sort of in a funk today. I think it is the clomid blues, rainy weather, and the FREEZING (50 ish degrees)... ok... Texas freezing... weather is getting me down.

My main plans for the entire 4 day weekend were to dig and plant in my flower beds and be totally engrossed in spring... but the weather has been awful and today my dad told me to wait until mid-April to plant anything... uggghhh... I didn't tell him that I already planted a new camellia and yellow marigolds in the front yard and a great looking trumpet vine and a new willow tree in the back. Our plans are to buy a fountain for the back yard as soon as we have an electrician figure our how to bury the cord! I can't wait to pull out the ulgy pansies and dusty miller from the flower beds and replace them with hibiscus and geraniums and lots on fun color for the summer! My roses are full of leaves and buds... but I don't really expect any roses for another 2 weeks... I have all of these plans... Why can't the weather just agree????

I have to admit that yesterday I took a hpt at 8 dpo... BFN of course. I wouldn't have taken one except I am feeling a lot of pg symptoms... I am assuming from the clomid. All the usuals... heartburn, bloating, moody, sort of sick feeling unless I eat, really tired... I have been napping all weekend, lots of pinching and pressure in my ute, zits, peeing more than usual... and my boobs are sore.. No... not just sore... REALLY BAD SORE... The kind where my t-shirt rubbing against my nips really hurts... The kind where the shower water is unbearable... This is why I broke and tested yesterday... right in the middle of the day. But, like I said, this is my first clomid month and this may just be the normal side effects that really piss everyone off. So far... I have one BFN under my belt for the month... I guess I will test again tomorrow morning with FMU... that will be 10 dpo....

As for now I have a mere 3 hours until I have to be showered, dressed, and cheerful for our family dinner... all I have to say is THANK GOD it is not at our house!!!

Oh... one bright spot... new episode of Desperate Housewives will be waiting for me on TiVo when I get home. Have I told you that TiVo had changed my life? I love it...


Anonymous oliviadrab said...

I hate size 10, too. But I'm now in a size 12 and it even fits a tad tight (and I'm only 5'2"). Weight gain sucks.

I hope you have a plethora of HPTs. Clomid months are really hard to resist peeing on something.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Lesley said...

Jamie, All I can say is. I am having a monthly meltdown! Why! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY !WHY! cant I get pregnant. I think you need to start off the bfp's for us. It seem's never ending. I wanna get off this RollerCoaster! 4 and a half years is too long. I mean where is the MIRACLE!!! My focus now is on a bfp for you, Ally, Jenn and Jena! I am so hoping for you Jamie.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Size 12 is currently hanging in my closet, although I have tried on Size 14 and they fit, too. THAT sucks. A size 10 makes me look like I going to blow up. Damn thighs. Okay, damn ass, too.

So . . . sore boobs, eh? This could be a GREAT thing!! I am still trying to hold off until Wednesday to test again. Tick-tock-tick-tock.

Happy Easter!

7:04 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I do sympathize...but I also have to say that I would kill to be back in a size 12. Weight gain SUCKS and I hope you find a way to deal with it wihtout beating yourself up.

4:48 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

I'm sorry that you had a crappy Easter.

I hate size 10's too! Damn, I wish I were in a size 10 right now. I won't even tell what I am wearing. I did wear them in high school and thought I was fat then...can you even imagine what I am thinking right now?!? I won't tell...because it isn't very nice.

Well, sore boobs and other symptoms are hopeful! I am praying for you that it isn't the clomid.

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about ya!

Chin up and take care!

8:19 AM  

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