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Monday, April 25, 2005

Double Doctor Duty...UPDATED

Second Dr. visit...

First just let me say: FUCK.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK......

Well I got my u/s and the doctor was very nice and didn't even mind that I had been cheating on him. BUT... I have now been officially diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome). On cd4 I had one really big folly (almost an inch long...) and about 10-15 smaller follicles (AKA cysts) around it. F-U-C-K. I knew something was wrong... I just fucking knew it!!!! He actually said that this would probably be a mild case of PCOS (which explains why there we no cysts when we looked in November.. apparently they can come and go.) And he told me that the main way they treat PCOS is with clomid... GREAT... Then he dropped the bomb. "We have to get your cycles back to normal first though" he said... (my lip started quivering) "There is only only quick way to do that" he said... (My eyes start welling up with tears.) Then he said those three most dreaded words that an infertility patient can hear:

"BIRTH CONTROL PILLS."

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo no no no no.

So I am now officially out for 30 days and I will also start Metforman to stabilize my insulin levels. IF the cysts are all gone in three weeks I will stay on the met and start clomid again. He told lots of stories of "rebound" pregnancy after 1 month on the pill and how a large percentage get pregnant the first month after... but a lot of women get pregnant just by having sex with their husband too.. and that hasn't worked for me.

I am depressed... and yet happy to know that I did the right thing by finding a doctor who would listen to me and actually stick the vag cam up there and take a look! I will be busy the rest of the night on google learning all the terrible things I need to know about PCOS and Metforman... (I already know it causes "intestinal difficulties" ie.. Diarrhea) But... my doctor did say that a lot of women actually lose weight and feel better on it because it stabilizes their blood sugar.

On another note... I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday. I decided that I need help dealing with all of this and the sadness I still have over my miscarriages. So.. Hopefully this will be a month of extreme healing...

OK.. gotta go try to choke down a BCP... I just want to cry thinking about it. Oh.. the nurse told me not to think about it as a BCP but as a tiny little "RESET" button to give my ovaries a break and to get them ready to do their job. Cute huh... (I am still seeing them as BCP's but at least she tried..)

Send me all the knowledge you have on PCOS and Met.. I need it all.




Dr. visit #1 today did not go well...
He came in looked at my charts for about 5 seconds looked inside me with a speculum and a light then did his normal 5 second internal exam... After all that he said that he doesn't know if this was a "real" period or not... When I told him it was heavier than my last period he said that he doesn't know if it was "ovulation induced". So we don't know if I am on cd 25 or cd 4... So he said no clomid this cycle and to come back when I was in the first 5 days of my next period. He wanted to see a blood draw to see where my progesterone ais and to make sure I am not pregnant... but no one thinks I am since I just had a beta done on April 5. When I mentioned monitoring he said "I am not going to do that. If you want that done you need to see a reproductive endochronologist." So I left.. in tears... no clomid prescription... no u/s... no monitoring... I think that will be my last visit with that doctor... and I am not going to do the blood draw until I see the 2nd Doctor today... My insurance will not pay for the same blood draw in one day... so I will wait and see what happeneds at 3:45 before I make any decisions.

I feel like shit.

30 Comments:

Blogger PJ said...

I hate when the docs don't do what we want. We pay them. If there are good, substantiated reasons they won't do something then let's hear it. Just saying no and walking away is not a good reason. Sorry you had such a crappy appointment. Hopefully, appt. #2 will work better.

PS-I love conceive magazine too. They give a good, broad perspective on the gamut of infertility.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Sara said...

Okay, first let me say what a prick. And I agree with the previous poster, at least give a reason why you won't do something. I recently read that OBs often don't know how to handle a woman with infertility or recurrent miscarriage issues, that sometimes you almost have to "go over their head" to the big guys, so to speak. Maybe the RE is the best bet for you right now. I would tell him you aren't quite ready for IUI or IVF and then see if he could at least monitor you first. Does your insurance cover IUI or IVF there, or a percentage of it?

Let us know how the second appointment goes. (((Hugs)))

11:57 AM  
Anonymous oliviadrab said...

Oh how freaking ANNOYING! Why he wouldn't monitor is befuddling. It seems like it could potentially prevent a huge lawsuit, and all he has to do it an ultrasound. He deserves to be FIRED. May appt #2 go MUCH better.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Rosanne said...

Sounds like Dr #1 has his nose out of joint a little bit. Or maybe he just needs to wake up to the reality that women know more about their individual cycles and bodies than some docs might. Hope appt #2 went much much better. ((hugs))
Rosanne

4:21 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I'm sorry your appt was such a let down or should I say your doctor was. I don't understand why he refused to do any type of monitoring. I'm glad you are not going to see him again. I hope dr #2 was more helpful and informative.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Jamie,
I am sorry that you got bad news today, I really hope in a month or two it will help lead to really good news. I am sorry that the first dr was such an ass, I am glad the second one is at least trying. I really hope you get results soon. You are in my thoughts, I am sorry that I don't have info on either subject, I could look in the countless infertility books i have but I am sure the info I will find is stuff you have already found. I hope that you are doing good.
Hugs,
Jenna

6:12 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Jamie, I really don't know what to say, other than I am sorry and that I am thinking about you. Take care and get some rest. I am glad you at least have some answers now and can be on a quicker route to a baby. Hugs...

Heather M.

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi

I'm normally a lurker but I thought I would send my condolences for all the crap that you have been through. I have PCO and I was on metformin and avandia. My cycles were really wacky before, between 40-60 days and were likely anovulatory. I had normal fasting insulin levels and my testosterone was normal and the combination helped me cycle regularly, but not get pregnant. I had ds through clomid/gonalf and I just got a bfp after ivf#1 (after numerous iui's and m/c).It may seem overwhelming at first but there is treatment for it and there is lots of info on the net. I think I got alot of info from www.soulcysters.com at the beginning and then other IF boards. The metformin isn't that bad if you gradually increase it and the avandia was really no problem.

Best wishes

corky

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Sara said...

Wow, Jaime. I am so sorry that you got the dreaded PCOS news. Your situation just makes me wonder if that is what I will soon be up for next Monday. I have this gut feeling, because PCOS is considered a hormonal issue in most books you read, that is what my issue is, too. After all, I got pregnant within 2 weeks of stopping the pill (that I was originally prescribed to "deflate" a large ovarian cyst). So, maybe the bcp will be a good thing for you.

I hope this month goes by super-quickly for you and I am glad the doctor is willing to try some other avenues.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...

Jamie, I don't know what to say right now except I'm sorry you found out thatt but I am glad you have a proper diagnosis for once. And you wondered why you have trouble trusting Doctor's. It would help if they actually new what they were doing. Take care and be good to yourself. Hugs from me to you.

12:47 AM  
Blogger Rosanne said...

Jamie,

I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. I wish all this crap would just go away.

Rosanne

2:06 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

Well Jamie. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this. It REALLY sucks, but you have to try to look at it positively. I know, easier said than done!

As far as the PCOS and Met, I don't have a lot to offer. My dr. told me I had mild PCOS and put me on the Met. The met made me sick for the first 2 weeks, but I got over that. It did make me O about a week and a half early though on my first full cycle on it. Don't know what it did this second cycle with taking vacation and all. I didn't loose much weight on it. If I did, I didn't realize it since I started working out too. My dr. said that working out is one of the best ways to level out the insulin in a natural way.

I think that you going to see a therapist will be a good step for you. I have thought about it several times, I just haven't made the call.

Well, enough babbling, I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. Take care.

3:58 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Jamie - Don't be sad - think about how much better off you are today then yesterday - Yesterday you had a doctor who refused to momitor you - called your symptoms "weird" and offered absolutely NO insight into why you weren't getting pregnant.

Jamie - you have ANSWERS now - yes, you need to be on BCP for a month - but had you stuck with your current doc you wouldn't have gotten pregnant anyway!!!! You are on your way to holding a little one in your arms - every pill you take brings you one more day closer to that blessing!

I know you are sad - I know you wanted him to say - "poof - this is the answer and you will be pregnant this month" I wanted that for you as well - but this is almost as good Jaime!

1 pill down 29 to go - and then you are getting KNOCKED UP!!!!! Start seriously thinking about names and colors for the nursery girlie - your time is coming!!!

4:28 AM  
Blogger Ally said...

Jamie,

I hate to say this because it's not what you want to hear...but I think this is good news. You actually KNOW what's going on now and CAN fix it.

One month on BCP isn't bad at all... and if it gets your body back on track, it will be the best move you ever make, especially if you get a baby out of this.

So, don't get discouraged yet. I think the nurse was right...all you need is a reset button. The cup is half full...remember that!

We may all have our little setbacks (remember I have a huge cyst on my ovary that needs to be removed in a week) but we'll persevere and be stronger than ever in the end

4:28 AM  
Blogger VHMPrincess said...

I have PCOS. Am on Metformin. Yes, the first 2 weeks SUCKED..but after that - poof! the extra 5 pounds that I couldn't get off my body with a personal trainer disappeared, even though i had quit working out in frustration! I actually do feel much better with the metformin.

My DR says you use the metformin and the clomid to create a nice healthy ovulation. The metformin alone brought me back from 1 period every 6 months or so to a 40 day cycle. I need the clomid though, to make the O healthier.

I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis! Now you can have a plan that will work!

4:43 AM  
Blogger kiwi said...

Sorry you have to go through all that.

Hi, my name is Kiwi and I have PCOS. I've been taking Metformin for a year 1/2 and I have never had any digestion problems with it, but I've been told I was the lucky one. I don't ovulate on my own, and since I'm taking Met with Femara, I have been ovulating.

Here are two links where there are lots of info about PCOS:
http://www.inciid.org/faq.php?cat=infertility101&id=2
http://www.soulcysters.com/

6:04 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

Well, from this end of the blog a diagnosis seems more like a good thing. This means you can have some meaningful treatment and hopefully get pregnant really soon. How's your hubby taking all of this in?

6:18 AM  
Blogger Tiff said...

I am so sorry. I am hoping that this 30 days flies by and that it does the trick and gets things back on track.
I am sorry you are having to deal with this. ((HUGS))

6:24 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I am sure it sucks to be diagnosed with PCOS but I'm glad you finally have an answer and a treatment. Hope this new doc and new treatment brings you tons of luck.

6:40 AM  
Blogger Blue said...

So sorry about the PCOS. I'm on Met even though I haven't officially been diagnosed. I'm taking 500mg twice a day and have not felt sick from it at all. I hear this can happen though.
Good Luck.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I hope the evil drugs help you out a bit. I'm sorry you've been through the wringer with all this crap! At least new dr. sounds like he's got his act together. Good luck to you in the months to come.

8:57 AM  
Anonymous alex said...

I am sorry to hear of your news...I am thinking of you and hope things work out well.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jaime,

I'm normally a lurker, but have been following your blog for months. I have been diagnosed with PCOS simply b/c of cysts on my ovaries - all hormones, insulin, etc. are considered normal. I'm on clomid to induce ovulation, but I did not respond to it the first month, so we kicked up the dose this month. My RE says we'll add Met. to the mix if the Clomid doesn't do the trick alone. She basically gave me the choice of starting Clomid or Met. first, and since I was on day 5 on that particular appointment, we decided to give Clomid a go. I understand your dr. shopping - I went to four myself, and got different opinions/diagnoses from each of them!! I quite frankly think that means that most of the treatment plans are shots in the dark to see what will work. I hope the Met. and Clomid do for you!!

1:36 PM  
Anonymous oliviadrab said...

Here goes:

Metformin is GROSS and can inflict diarrhea in a major way. It does take a few weeks to get used to it, and the best way is to NOT consume starches. Namely, "white carbs"--white sugar, flour or rice. Whole grains are ok in limited doses. I recommend "Sugar Busters Diet"--a very realistic approach to low-carb.

IF you don't get used to it after three weeks of slowly increasing dosages, ask to switch to Glucophage XR. It is a time-release and is less harsh than Met.

My PCOS was relieved after taking it for a month, and it improved both my ovulation and periods. I hope it does the same for you. I used to host a message board and I can't TELL YOU how many women with PCOS had a pregnancy after beginning Met/Gluc. That, too, I hope happens for you.

I do find it annoying as HELL that they keep prescribing Clomid. It's like those people have stock in the freaking company.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Metformin does make your tummy feel like crap, but it only lasts a few days. Then that side effect should go away.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Crazy Me said...

Hey James - I know this is such a rough time for you and things really suck at this point but I'm glad to see that you are handling yourself with such grace. It was wonderful to talk to you last night and catch up after 5 YEARS apart. You are now, and have always been, one of the strongest women that I know and you WILL get through this bleak period. Happy thoughts to you from your old friend.

3:36 PM  
Anonymous promlist said...

sometime we feel very rediculous when the doctor could not the understand what we want to tell them....its a very crucila stage.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want to tell you I have 2 great children....and PCOS... I have had PCOS since I was 15 years old. they have tried everything. They put me on BCP at 18. I was on 7 diff pills before I said that was it.. My husband and I had been married for 4 years when we has our first child. 15 months later I got preg. with our second child. This is something that runs in my family and just about all women in my family has either endim. or PCOS. I was blessed with both. I have since had my tubes fixed so that we can not have any more children... However; I had to go back to the GYN after having this done because I went 5 months with out a per. not good back to the samething as before. I have had 3 cyst that have pop.(PAIN, PAIn.PAIN)anyway I went to a different GYN told him what was going obn and he put me on Metforman...at least they found yours before everything else.. Keep faith in GOD because he can do all things. I was told I would never had children. I was told I would have to has a surgery and I have not yet. Keep faith your will have children just take your meds. and do what the doctor says...but I still to this day am not regular on or off the pill... Hope this helps your.

5:08 PM  
Blogger Aimee said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, I am a PCOS suffer.
I am on metformin, and I have had a misscarrage, if there is anyone on here that would like to chat and share any of there stories with me add me to MSN at my_sqwishie@hotmail.com
I am in need of a friend, because everyone I no hasnt had a problem like mine,
thanks Jen :)
I hope to hear from you

4:13 PM  

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