Oliver...

I saw the nurse again on Friday for another u/s of Oliver Cyst. The good news is that he is collapsing. The size went from being a perfectly round (ie... full) 60 mm to a dented and deflated (ie... leaking) 42 mm. This is positive news and the hope is that although it is doubtful that Oliver will be completely packed up and gone by the time AF comes to visit again, there is the chance that I will only have to do 1 round of the horrible nausea inducing birth control pills. I will see the doctor (yes my actual doctor) on the 20th... for my official annual exam.... because with all this fertility shit I actually have been putting off that part for a couple of months... ironic huh? Then about a week later AF *should* arrive and I will have a cd 2 or 3 u/s to check on Oliver's shrinking progress.

I am not joking about how sick I feel on bc pills. Can someone please explain this to me??? I mean I took bc pills for many years with no side effects... none. But now... it is hideous. And the weird thing is it is the same pill, Ovcon 35... a fairly low dose pill. Last time when I had a cyst flare up Dr. Incompetent put me on the patch... which I tolerated much better... but Nurse says that I need to take the pill. Why?? ugghh. I hate this. Soooo frustrated and sick of feeling pukey.

And now for the "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" file... Guess what I found in my mailbox today... An issue of (AND A BILL FOR) Parenting Magazine. Yes... somehow the cosmic gods have decided to play a trick on me (again) and somehow I am being billed for and recieving a magazine about how to have fun with your children. Anyone else see the glowing white hot irony here? And... I ask you... have you ever tried to unsubscribe from a magazine? There is no phone number to call... I was so annoyed and dismayed that I wrote acress the bill in huge block letters "I DID NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THIS MAGAZINE... I AM INFERTILE. DO NOT BILL ME AGAIN OR SEND ME ANOTHER ISSUE." Ok... I admit a tad bit dramatic... but what the fuck? Like I need THAT on top of everything else? Seriously.

To top it all off, I am overwhelmed at work. There is a lot going on and we are trying to get a show open on Wednesday. The kids are acting crazy and irresponsible and jerk-ish (well.. like high school kids) and with my hormone wackiness they are getting on my last nerve. Generally I love my job... I get to be creative and work in the theatre every single day... I run my own department and I make the rules... I decide what we do and when and how we do it. It is a perfect job for me. But yesterday I was tempted to go to Target and put in my application. Yesterday was one of the days that I utterly and completely hated my job and felt like I do not have the edge or the patience to continue working with high school kids. Yesterday I felt like walking out of the school, driving away, and never looking back.

I guess I'd better start playing the lottery again huh?

OK.. gotta run and read an article on how to make an "Easy Sew Halloween costume" for my imaginary children out of empty tampon boxes, negative home pregnancy tests, and vodka bottles.