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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Dreams and other Nonsense...

Last night I had a dream about my ex-husband, Beetlejuice. We have been divorced for 9 years and I have been with Mr. D almost ever since. But every one in a while... he still creeps into my dreams and torments me from afar. The dream was very simple... we were getting married... but it was like a show of some kind because we were getting married 8X a week with matinee's on Saturday and Sunday! Weird huh??? I remember people all being crammed in the house and bitching between performances about our work conditions. And I remember being sort of sad that I had to marry Beetlejuice over and over again... since I hate his guts. My boss was there... crying about his life (so strange since I can't stand this guy either!) Anyway... that was it... the entire dream ... having to marry my ex over and over again... and being darn pissed off about it. Weird.

For you dream analyzers out there there are a couple of thing you should know that make it fairly easy to understand why I had this dream...
1. Mr. D. and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary... so wedding stuff has been on my mind.
2. I am reading this book (THE SINNER by Tess Gerritsen) where the ex-husband comes back and seduces the lead character.
3. My ex is also an actor... and we did do shows together in the long forgotton past.

So it is easy to see how my jangled little mind can start putting all this info together and ends up making a crappy Beetlejuice dream.

(By the way... The SINNER is a gory book... it is about a serial killer and the heroine is a tough medical examiner out to find out why he kills a bunch of people including a nun... So I thought it would be a safe read... nothing sappy to fuel my "baby making" depression.... then all of a sudden we find out the nun had given birth to a deformed mystery baby while she was alone in the convent... THEN... she threw the baby in the duck pond... (ok... not the best read for a person struggling with infertility... ) THEN... the second banana "tough woman cop" character starts being nauseous all the time and puking at the grizzly crime scenes... guess who is knocked up and (of course) doesn't want to be... Then the main girl starts fooling around with her ex!!!! Uhm... I just wanted a "light" read about a mysterious nun killer... and I get THIS????? Gah...

Anyway... I guess all the "stuff" is seeping into my brain and making me have weird dreams... I hate dreaming about Beetlejuice... I always wake up in a rotten mood.

On to more interesting things.... Today I am spending $350 on laser hair removal (that is the 1/2 off December special so this stuff ain't cheap!)... I am tired of plucking the hairs on my chinny chin chin and the fuzz on my upper lip so I am going to get them zapped off by a laser... My package is a 6 zap package and can be suspended if I get pg... I plan to get zapped ever single month after my BFN's!!!! I'll let you know how it goes and if it works... This is the laser hair removal place that is attached to my RE's office (he owns both)... I figure I may not like him as an RE... but I might just like the aesthetition who works for him... Maybe I will set up another follicle monitoring session while I am there... and maybe I won't.

Oh...on the blood front... still not that much. Fertility Friend counts spotting as cd 1... so they "say" I am on cd 3. I am having a very light period... very similar to when I was on the pill... this is so different from the last few very heavy periods that I have had... Does anyone out there think this is cause for alarm? Again... I thought progesterone made your AF very heavy and my friend Kath assures me that is true... so what is going on??? Anyway... that is my body for you... doing EXACTLY the opposite of what everyone else's does...

Last night on CSI:Miami the story was about a woman who was (guess what???) pregnant and murdered... The medical examininer ordered an hcg STAT... (hello... she is dead) Her hcg level was 90,000 and the medicial examiner estimated that she was 7 weeks pregnant.... um... At 6 weeks my hcg levels were around 800... It sucks to know so much and to start doing hcg doubling math in my head during a friggin TV show... How come even the dead girl on CSI:Miami could get pregnant with a (seemingly) very healthy pregnancy???? And WHY do they have to bring up her stupid crazy healthy HCG numbers?????? Most people probably had no idea WTF they were talking about... me... I knew.

Oh... one more thing... is anyone there??? I have the feeling that I am boring the internet into silence.

3 Comments:

Blogger Pusillanimous Wanker said...

Well I'm still reading anyway . . . ;-)

The internet never says much to me either.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Jenna said...

Hey,
Sorry I haven't posted much. I have still been going to your blog everyday to see what is going on. I am glad that you had a good christmas in spite of everything. This Christmas for me was probably the worst christmas that I have had. It is so hard.
Your dream last night I was weird. I hate when I have dreams like that. I sometimes have dreams about the guy that haunts my past. I hate it. It just reminds me that I have not forgotten him.
I know that you posted on PW the other day that you haven't been on much because it is depressing to see everyone come and go. I agree. This last week I haven't even been lurking. I have been working on the m/c board because it isn't as happy.
Jenna

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm here! I'm back and thankfully have my DSL. Thank the lord!

xxoo,
Emily

10:20 PM  

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