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Friday, February 18, 2005

Infertility on the Air...

Cd 24... I still haven't tested...today is 10 dpo... (If FF is right about the "O") I am sort of losing my hopeful feeling about this month... two days ago I thought this might be it... My stomach felt really full and bloated, gassy, and heartburn-y and I was peeing a lot (like 7 times in 9 hours...) But... now I think it is a false alarm... mostly because of my boobs... I got nothing.

There is a national radio personality that I listen to that is based out of my area... Over the last 18 months she has been trying to get pg. Now her "infertility" is starting to become a major topic of conversation on the show... It started out slow... like a contest to see who could get pregnant first... listeners or this DJ. Slowly, she began to share her struggle on the radio... always with a positive attitude while the guys on the show tell he to "just relax" or to "adopt a child because everyone who adopts fall pg soon after." She gets messages on her message board full of assvice about how to get pg... It must be so frustrating for her. Lately, she has been on local TV talking about acupuncture and infertility. She has tried clomid and I think that she is moving on to IUI.

I identify with her so much... Now, when she talks about her struggles she sounds a little sadder and wiser. Sometime when they are teasing her about not being pregnant after 18 months I want to call in and actually defend her. I get so angry because I don't feel that people are being sensitive enough about the heartbreaking cycle of trying month after month... Today someone actually said "Maybe if you saw what a pain kids could be you wouldn't want one so bad." I am sure that she is much stronger about her fertility issues than I am... she seems to let these comments just roll off her back. But I am so offended and heartbroken at the lack of sympathy people show women who are TTC and having trouble. I am so sick of it. It makes me angry.

Once I emailed her and told her about my blog and our PW support group. She sent me a sweet email back. It is so strange hearing someone's struggle on a daily basis and not actually knowing them. It makes me so sad to think about how many women are out there going through infertility... alone.

I want her to get pregnant.
I want you guys to get pregnant.
I want me to get pregnant.

And I hope if she does get pregnant that she keeps it secret for a long time... As insensitive as people are about infertility... it makes me wonder what how they would react to a lost pregnancy...I don't think I could take the patent answers on miscarriage coming from my radio... I can hear it now...

"It was God's will"
"It wasn't really a baby yet..."
"You'll get pg again..."
"There must have been something wrong will the baby"
etc... etc... etc...

(I might just chuck my radio out the window...)

6 Comments:

Blogger Sara said...

Infertility is such a heartbreaking thing, especially because everyone seems to always want to put their two cents in. Just like any other facet of life, what works for one person may not work for another, so put a cork in it already. You know?

I am so proud you have not christened a stick this cycle, Jaime. For what it is worth, your cycle looks good. Your temps are still going up! :-)

Have a great weekend!

5:47 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

It is disgusting what some people will day in the name of humor. They just don't think before they spew their thoughtless comments over the radio waves. I can imagine that in addition to you and the radio dj, there were many other "infertile" women listening and feeling alone and alienated, and made fun of.

I can't imagine that I wouldn't have called to stick up for her. Or just to let her know that she didn't have to take that critizism. You are much stronger than I!! I just further demonstrates the need for the IPP. Have a good evening Pinky!

Snotty

7:48 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

It in nice to know that she is trying to "educate" (for lack of a better word) people on the struggles and issues of infertility. Some people can be real asses and not get the point that she may or may not be trying to make. No one understands the struggles that we are all going through unless they have been through it themselves (either as the woman or the husband, boyfriend, etc...).

On a more positive note....have a great weekend!!!!

8:14 AM  
Blogger chris said...

Wow. Keep us posted. It's got to be difficult to have everyone know you're trying.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...

Jamie, I am reading this a day later because it was not posted when I was online yesterday. I can so identify with what your saying and what you go through with people just expecting it is all so easy for everyone.
I hear ya!
Good Luck and here's to a positive!
Luv Lesley

10:55 PM  
Anonymous alex said...

I have been checking your chart hoping for it to become clear but alas...it is still confusing.

Sorry that I did not figure it out and thanks for all the additional information that you gave to me. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is the month.

Is it possible for you to get an ultasound done or other way of checking to make sure you ovulate before starting the progesterone?

I am sorry about your struggle right now...thinking about you always.

9:57 AM  

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