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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Cd 21

OK... I am almost done licking my wounds from the bad old lady judge at competition. The kids were still down about it on Monday but by Tuesday they seemed to be on to other things... prom... graduation ... etc... very resilient. Me? I am moving onward and upward too... it is time to order awards, plan the banquet, order supplies for next year, and all the other million little things we do before the end of the year.

I called my doctor yesterday and talked to my nurse. I am always not sure if they quite understand the ovulation monitor... I always feel like I have to over explain the LOW, HIGH , (NO) PEAK thing. She thinks that the doctor may want to up my Metformin (I am currently taking 2000 mg a day) but we can't do anything until I go in and sit down and talk to the doctor about what has been happening the past few months. I am supposed to call on cd 1 and then she will tell me when to come in... hopefully they will do a full monitoring session (non-infertility coded) and really try to find out what the fuck is going on.. I am not sure what will happen if I really am not ovulating... expensive drugs I suppose... I just want to KNOW that I am ovulating before I spend $1000 on an IUI. I told Mr. D. in bed last night that I didn't want to go to the doctor after all.. I just feel so hopeless. His response is that not going back to the doctor would be even more hopeless. So.. when AF comes (who the fuck knows when) I will be headed back to the doctor.

I.
still.
feel.
a.
little.
hopeless.

Please tell me that is normal.



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In other news.. Spring has sprung in my backyard... 17 roses this morning... beautiful.

11 Comments:

Blogger Jenna said...

I think after trying so long we have all be come hopeless... I really hope that your doctor is helpful this time and the meds are not too much.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Nico said...

It would be nice if they could do a scan once you start getting the "high" readings - if you have a decent sized follicle(s), maybe all you would need is some Ovidrel to make you ovulate - and that's only $45 or so for a shot.

When I was going through my non-cycles (~18 months of amenorrhea), I was feeling pretty hopeless too. It's hard to be hopeful when you KNOW that there is zero chance of getting pregnant. What I do hope though is that your doctor can help figure out what's going on, and fix this!

6:57 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

Completely normal Jamie...I am sorry that you are going through this and feel the way that you do.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Penny Farthing said...

Feeling hopeless is pretty much my normal state of being now.

I hope they get you some reasonable answers hon.

And just because a cycle isn't ideal, doesn't mean no chance of pg. Even with all my issues (pcos, hypoT and seriously 100+ day cycles most of the time) I did manage to get pg with an unmedicated ovulation on cd#82 (unfortunately it ended in m/c, but that's not the point).

Good luck hon :)

8:27 AM  
Blogger goldmoon said...

Hang in there!! It's perfectly normal to feel this way. But maybe the doctor can help you not feel so hopeless? Good luck!

1:09 PM  
Blogger Hoping said...

Your roses are beautiful: a sure sign of spring and positivity to come.

11:23 AM  
Blogger Ally said...

I know the feeling.

I hope the doctor can figure out wheat the hell is going on...and get you knocked up already!

Infertility makes me so damn mad I can spit!

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you ever heard of Dr. Silber? He is a nationally renowned fertility specialist based at St. Lukes hospital in St. Louis, MO. I have a friend that tried for 5 years to get pregnant. After 8 failed IUI's and a lot of urging from family and friends she went to visit him. He told her he didn't care WHY she wasn't getting pregnant but that he was sure he could help her get pregnant. He was true to his word. Her infertility still remains 'unexplained' but she has a beautiful one year old son! Anyway, I don't mean to intrude. I just wanted to recommend him.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

With all that you have been through it is normal not to have hope. All we can try to do is find something positive to hold on to. It's good that you will be seeing your dr. I hope they will be able to provide some info and a plan. Good luck.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Lesley said...

Jamie ,I am sorry. I hope and wish that things will finally go right for you in that area. I understand you feeling like you do, very understandable.
Here's hoping for a lovely Easter weekend for you and Mr D.
Take care,
Hugs, Lesley

3:56 PM  
Blogger Crazy Me said...

Your flowers sure are pretty. I hope things start going your way soon. (((Hugs)))

10:35 PM  

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