Surly Curly Girlie

Not much to report today... I basically spent it recovering from yesterday. I was so tired when I crawled into bed last night a little after midnight and yet for some reason I was awake at 2:45. I wasn't being obsessive or thinking "to much"... I was just awake. Finally I dozed until about 6:00 in short 20 minute spurts. I finally got up at 7:08... but I was still really tired.. I wonder why?

Mr. D and I went to breakfast... Then ventured out to "Grapefest" a small town (Grapevine, Texas) wine festival. It was hot... eff-ing hot. We only stayed about an hour before neither of us could take the heat. The rest of the day was wasted away running silly errands and napping (again in short 20 minute spurts... Why can't I sleep today???) finally we had dinner at a mexican food restaurant where I ate WAY to many carb-filled chips and tortillas slathered with butter. YUM.

Mr. D said I was being surly today... He said that I am a "Surly Curly Girlie" because I wore my hair curly (ie: tossled...messy... ratty) and was being very spunky and sparring with him a lot today. At one point, I woke up from a nap and asked him if he wanted to go shopping and he started laughing and said "Go look at you hair!" It was CRAZY MESSY! I laughed and told him it was soooo rude to make fun of my hair-do. He says he loves it like that! I believe him... sort of... but he did LAUGH when he saw it... (Enter Jessica Simpson singing about "nothing but a t-shirt on" and her husband making her feel beautiful weven when she is ratty... just like me!) I was in a sarcastic mood (because of no sleep) and Mr. D loves my dry sense of humor and thinks I am at my funniest when I am dead-pan and philsophical about stupid things like why our crepe myrtle trees aren't growing. We had a fun time togther even though I was tired and... I guess... surly.

Today I realized that I can only ask Mr.. D so many times "Do you think we'll get pregnant this month?" before he goes glassy eyed and mumbles "I... don't... know..."

It is strange, I am so obsessed with getting pregnant again that I am forgetting to be scared about STAYING pregnant. I just want that second pink line to show up so I can get on with my high risk pregnancy. Shouldn't I be more worried? Is it wrong to have a glimmer of hope that things might actually work out? That I might have a normal-ish pregnancy and that in May I might have the perfect little bundle of joy in my arms? This is very hopful sounding for a "surly curly girlie".

I might be gaining hope.. a very scary thought.