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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Still sick...

I am having a really hard time getting rid of this cold. I have felt crappy now for a week. Not "out-of-commission" crappy just general "I don't-feel-good-but-I-can-go-to-work" crappy. I have just been so congested that it makes it really hard to have the energy to get things done. It seems like everyone at school is sick too... So I guess it will just keep going around until it burns out. Sometimes I feel like working at a school is like working in a petri dish... I need to find a biohazard suit just to get through the winter!

I am on cd 21 or 22... I am thinking about starting progesterone today... but I have felt so yucky I didn't want to add to it... But there is always the nagging feeling of "what if this is the month?" and "what if I really need it to sustain a pregnancy?" So.. I will probably start taking it today. Bring on the bloat, the cramps, the irritability, and the extra 5 pounds... I can take it. What I really hate the most though is when it extends my cycle from 32 days to 36+ days. That is the cruel trick that I just hate. Hey progesterone... give me a fucking break this month will you. I am hanging by a thread here.

Work has been busy... and will continue to be busy through April. Yesterday we held one of our biggest fundraiser of the year KIDS KAMP where we host acting workshops for kids grades 2-5. We had 54 kids! My students did a great job and we made $1500. To bad everyone is sick! We probably just started our own little pandemic... oh well... At least we all got through it.

This week I found out my friend M. is 20 weeks pregnant with her third baby. This is her third in the time that I have been trying for my first. It is tough to be happy for her... especially since I found out in a mass email that she sent out. I saw her a Christmas... but I guess she wasn't ready to tell yet. I understand waiting to tell but there has got to be a better way to tell your friend who is struggling with fertility issues that you are pregnant for the third time... An email just seems a little cold... The worst part is when she told me "I am really hoping to be done having children by the time I am 30.. I don't want to be an old mom..." Hello.... I am 34. Ok.. enough about the injustices of infertility. We all know it just sucks on every level.

That's it. Hope everyone has a nice Valentine's Day!


Blogger Faith in Florida said...

Yeah, that could be hurtful. One of my best friends has been trying for four years, and she was waiting for her IVF results...they did the implantation and everything...when I found out I was pregnant with #3.

About a week after I found out, she found out that they didn't take. I called to tell her, and she was happy though it was understandably bittersweet.

But, I must say, I treated that phone call far different than most of the other 'I'm pregnant' phone calls. I had to be more sensitive. She is 34 too, I couldn't imagine saying something to her about her age. I would be mortified. Some ppl just don't think. I just wrote a post about that, title "Who DOES that?" Yeah ,people are idiots when it comes to words.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Chas said...

Sorry that you are still feeling so crappy. I hope that you can get over it soon.

I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I miss ya!

Take care,

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Denise said...

I'm with you on how hard it is to hear of friends having babies while waiting for your first. We just had our third miscarriage, and this was the toughest because now friends are starting on their second or third pregnancies.

Hang in there, we are all pulling for you to get your baby.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Thinking of you! My heart went out to you when I saw that post. I'm still hoping and praying for numero uno as well.

9:15 PM  

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