Dr. visit..
Good News - I am ovulating... at least this cycle. I have a 18mm follicle that my Dr. said could go anytime... So Mr. D. and I better get crackin... I am not using the monitor this month (I thought I would wait to spend another $50 for sticks after I knew what was happening. No signs of cysts. Yay!
Bad News - My Dr. strongly suggested that I do a laperoscopy before we try the IUI's. I am scared and really didn't want to have a surgery... even a small one. Mr. D. doesn't seem thrilled about me having the lap either (he is scared too)... and that makes it even harder on me because I feel like I am considering doing something that he is not 100% behind. We know the main part of my tubes are clear... At least they were 3 years ago when I had the HSG... but he told me that the little hair-like ends that actually pick up the egg may have endo (or scar tissue from years ago when I had pelvic inflamatory disease from a lovely case of chlamydia from my cheating ex) and if they did have endo or scar tissue the HSG would not show it only an exploratory lap will let us know for sure. The nurse told me the out of pocket cost would most like be $1000 (after my deductible and my 20%...) and that just sucks too. I cried on the way back to work... I hate feeling like I am making these decisions alone... even though it is my body. I feel like I have been putting this off for two years and that it is obviously the next step... but I am just really afraid. After the lap he would like to move on to injectables and IUI's... I am also afraid of the injectables... but I am going to be 35 in 6 months and that ticking clock is really freaking me out... 35 the "magic" age that they tell you increases so many chances of problematic pregnancies... "advanced maternal age". fuck.
Maybe I will get pregnant this month and not ever have to think about all this again... if not... I will probably... possibly... maybe... call in 2 weeks to schedule my lap.
I am still processing all of this. Any advice?
posted by Mrs. D. @ 5/04/2006 07:22:00 PM
16 Comments:
Jamie I am delurking to weigh in with my two cents worth. I think you should do the lap. I was also afraid, so afraid that I decided not to do it. A decision my doctor supported since I was going to do in vitro anyway. But now, 3 years, 6 IUI's, 1 IVF and 1 FET later, with no explanation as to why nothing works, I really wish I knew what the hell is going on in their.
I think you should do the lap. I've always thought about having one done, but our primary issue has been touted as being sperm related. A few girls that I know in bulletin board land, have had Laps in the past few months and they discovered they had endo and never knew they had it. There have also been some women that have had good luck right after laps.
I don't know. It's tough. You just have to do what is right for you. You need to weigh how far you want to go and how fast you want to get there. Best of luck on this cycle!
Jamie - I know you are scared and it is a big step but you have to ask yourself - what is scarier? The lap or the possibility of not having a baby? I know the out of pocket is expensive but it seems well worth it.
Don't let your fear get the best of you ! Thinking of you.
Hi! Delurking to tell you that it will all be OK.
I read your post and I am filled with such memories of my own journey. I totally understand about being scared to do medical stuff -- but it's always easier than we imagine. I stressed myself out before ALL of my procedures, and SERIOUSLY afterward I was like, "Oh is that it?" A lap is really OK. It's normal to be worried, but it's seriously not that bad. And the hardest thing about the injectibles is doing the FIRST one. After that, it's easier and easier.
So just know someone is praying for you in cyberland. Take care!
Big decisions are tough, but you will make the right one for you. I hope this month works out for you.
Jamie,
I am the anonymous who advised you earlier about changing jobs in order to get insurance to pay for treatments...
I am following your story - you are very nice person- and I wish you all the best.
I think you should do it. The way I see it right now you have a choice of doing/not doing lap( and other things), but the longer you wait on ANYTHING, you may get to the point when you don't even have to make any decisions, because it is too late. It may sound cruel, but I think at this point you have to use your time wisely. I am sorry if I sound too harsh, I am same way with myself too...If I were you I'd make a plan of what you willing to do to get pregnant- lap, IUI, IVF, consider how far I am willing to go, and how much I am willing to spend- and JUST follow the plan without having to take time to decide every next step. I think it may be easier mentally.
Best wishes whatever you decide,
Julie
I had a lap done and it wasn't too bad at all. I think it's all worth it if it brings you that much closer to having a baby.
Like you said, becoming 35 and all, you certainly don't want to regret to have done all you can.
Think of it as an investment into motherhood!
As a veteran of two laps, I say it is a good plan of action. It makes a huge difference. It's good to know what's going on in there and give yourself the absolute best chance possible. Had I not had my last lap, I'd have never known my intestine was being choked by endo. I'm sure that's not the case with you, but it is a good thing to do, to make sure everything is doing what it should be. Plus you get all the awesome drugs.
I understand your feelings about doing the lap but think you should definitely do it. It will provide your dr with an idea of what the problem is and will bring you closer to your dream.
Hi Jamie, I have been reading your blog for quite a while now. First of all, only you and Mr. D. know what is best for you in your situation but I'd say have one.
I had a lap in Sept 05. I am 38, have PCOS and was ovulating but no pg on Met and Clomid. I'd had two attempts at HSG but the radiologists couldn't insert the cath because I had a tilted uterus.
Turns out my uterus was stuck down with adhesions. My doc said they were from gall bladder surgery. So he removed them and removed a grapefruit sized cyst that we didn't know was there. He found out my tubes were patent.
Since then, I've had two chemical pregnancies. Not great but the eggs and swimmers are meeting and fertilizing which is much further than we've ever gotten. My RE is optimistic and thinks the losses are due to low progesterone.
Honestly it wasn't that bad. We got a lot of good info from it--no endo, uterus and ovaries in good shape etc.
Good luck and best wishes to you and Mr. D. Chin up, sweetie!!!1
Hi there,
Hopefully you are right and you will get pregnant this cycle and not even have to worry about it...but...I have to tell you the positive side of laps. I consider myself a near-expert as I have had three laps in less than a year, the last one just this past Wednesday.Yes, they are a pain but I am so thankful that I have had them. I have severe endo and every time my RE has gone back in, he's been able to clean up more and more. The first one was the worst, only b/c I had two cysts to remove. The other two have been not so bad at all. I was up and out the next day.
It's never fun to go through surgery but there is no way I would ever get pregnant without going through what I've gone through.Unfortunately, my fertility future is still uncertain but I am at peace knowing I have done my part.
I wish you the best...hope that follicle is ready to go and this is your month!!!!
I can't tell you whether or not to have a lap done, all I can say is that you need to do what is in your heart. I would hate for you not to get it done and then regret it later in life.
You are in my thoughts and prayers! If you need anything let me know and I will do what I can.
Take care and hope to talk to you soon.
I use to think ignorance is bliss but that's not true. The more information you can find out now while you are still young the better. You have more options. That's my advice.
Jamie,
Give us an update!! I am thinking about ya!
Jess
Where are you???
what is the update....waiting with bated breath!!
hope the news is good and you have found peace in the decision you choose to make....
heads up and much love!
Just another lurker vote for the lap. Had it done earlier this year and so glad I did! It turned out to be okay, but so glad to know that the things I was worried about weren't the case. For me, it was like paying for peace of mind and narrowing down the list of things that might be preventing me staying pregnant.
I was freaked about the surgery too, but it turned out to be relatively painless other than the air that they have to put in your body cavity to get a good look at everything.
Good luck with whatever you decide! Hope it goes well!
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