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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I'm baaack....(with a sad update...

UPDATE: It is called perspective... My deepest sympathies go to Jessica's family and friends... it is just horrible news for our blogging community. She will be missed by thecountless lives she touched both in "real life" and on the web. So so sad.

Sorry for the delay in an update... I have been both busy with school and still confused about the lap. I know it seems like an easy decision... just do it... but my problem is (as many of you know) I don't really like my doctor. I mean I am sure he knows what he is doing... but his bedside manner is very casual and I don't really feel like he is "invested" in me or my pregnancy trials. I could find another doctor... but that means starting over and I just don't know if I feel up to that. So... I will be deciding in the next couple of weeks whether to ignore my fears and do the lap (making the appointment as soon as I get my period) or to ignore my doctor and forget the lap... OR as soon as I am out of school make it my new full-time job to find a doctor who I really like and feel safe with.

School sucks... my partner is doing nothing and it is driving me nuts! Since I last posted I have run so many events totally alone and it pisses me off! He is in another fucking world and I wish that he would wake up and realize that soon... I am going to blow! Tonight is our theatre banquet... yay! I have planned it at a wonderful restaurant (Maggiano's) and I have purchase all the awards, overseen the end of the year video, written all of the awards presenters speeches, arranged which kids will be speaking at banquet, purchased EVERYTHING for our candlelight thespian induction ceremony and had countless meetings with the kids planning every detail of this huge event... My co-worker probably doesn't even know what time he is supposed to be there. I am starting to hate him.

Guess what.. Mr. D. And I bought brand new shiny bikes this weekend!!! Mine is really cool and PURPLE! I haven't had a bike since I was in 7th grade so I sort of have had to learn to ride again! Last night we took our first big bike ride. We went all the way to the rec center and back home.. about 4 miles! That is pretty good for a total couch potato! Our plans are to ride each morning to the rec center and work out and swim and then ride home. Won't that be healthy of us??? So far I love my new bike and I really look forward to riding her with my hubby.

Today is cd 24... I have all the normal symptoms... I am praying like mad that this is my month and all of this lap business is for nothing. At least I know I ovulated... that's the first step. I wouldn't go so far to say I am hopeful... desperate is more the feeling I am having. This time next week I will either be pg or making a lap appt... Pray.


Blogger Feebee said...

Hi Jamie

Delurking again to wish you all the luck in the world that you won't have to make that appt. I'm in the same boat, due a HSG next cycle if nothing comes of this one, and praying like mad I'll never have to call for the appt.

Good luck!


6:13 AM  
Blogger Hoping said...

thinking of you!

7:29 AM  
Blogger Ally said...

I look at it this way Jamie...who really cares about his bedside manner as long as he gets the job done and you get pregnant. I think you should stick with him, let him do what he feels is best..because it's better to have an aggressive dr. who isn't so social than to have a caring doctor who won't do shit. You need results and you need to step up to the plate if you want it to succeed. I'm sorry if that is a harsh reality but denial and trying "the old fashioned way" just doesn't seem to work for us.
You are a strong woman and you need to come to the realization that you need to get aggressive.

That's my 2 cents as your friend...ok, maybe a nickel's worth. :)

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jamie,

I got really upset with my doctor and changed at one point. I think I was just really frustrated because I wasn't getting pregnant and blaming him. It was so hard going back with nothing to show for it. I did go back to him and let him do my lap.

Hang in there, sweetie.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Beret said...

You are in my prayers Jamie. Take care!

8:51 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Praying for you!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Ollie said...

As someone who has been through one lap with a doctor I didn't feel was 100% "with" me on everything (and evidentally went in there and did absolutely NOTHING), and then one lap with an awesome doctor who really wanted to help make me healthy (and who actually DID help me tremendously), I merely suggest to take your gut instinct into account. If I had to do it all over again, I'd rather have only had the one lap with the right doctor.

2:59 PM  
Blogger rockmama-in-waiting said...

My DH and I just bought bikes too so we could toodle around the countryside! It's wicked. :)

Best wishes for success this cycle!

4:53 AM  
Anonymous Sassy said...

I'm praying for you.

6:19 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

How are you these days? Give us an update!!!!


6:54 AM  

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