Taking Charge of my Fertility...
So I have had cause to do a lot of thinking about my fertility issues lately... Am I doing enough? Am I doing everything I can? Am I to scared to move forward? Hmmm... I feel that I am working really hard to take care of myself and I wanted to get some things straight in my head and since that is the whole point of this blog... here goes...
Moving forward: I want to do IUI. I am ready and have saved up the $$$... My husband and I are on the same page and that is the course of action we want to take. I was planning to try to get 2 cycles in over the summer and hoped I would be pregnant in the fall. Mind you that early on in my process with Dr. Untrustworthy he did mention a lap... but he himself said it would be for exploratory reason and not because I had any real "symptoms" or reasons to do it. I decided at that time that I would only do a lap if a doctor could actually tell me that I needed one. So I stayed out of the stirrups from December to April and saved up the cash for 2 IUI's. At my most recent visit Dr. Untrustworthy decided that I "need" to have the lap before I do the IUI's. As many of you know I have "left" this doctor twice before once because he told me to "come back when there was something he could do for me" after refusing to monitor my cycles because he "didn't think" I was ovulating... and then again because of what I considered unscrupulous advice back when he tried to charge me $550 after I started a clomid cycle for monitoring that his office never told me wasn't covered by my insurance... Basically before he diagnosed me as "infertile" when my insurance would cover monitoring he wouldn't do it... then he diagnosed me (without my knowing there was a change of status) and then tried to charge me out of pocket. I also saw another doctor in the middle of all this... one that gave me clomid but also refused to monitor and I ended up with dozens of tiny cysts and had to do 3 rounds of BCP to get rid of them. So... I am done with Dr. Untrustworthy. I will see him if I need something small (like this bladder infection) but he will not be doing surgery on me.
So... I called this big fertility clinic this week... the number that my nurse practitioner slipped me. And I do have an appointment... for August 22. This is super depressing since this was the summer that I really wanted to do 2 IUI's. But I can't even get a consultation for 3 months. Today I have a call into this doctor my SIL gave me... this doctor is not an RE... but he "specializes" in infertility. Can someone please explain to me the difference of someone who is an RE and someone who calls himself a "specialist"??? Who knows when they will be able to get me in... I am just sitting by the phone waiting. I am including both of the links to these doctors so you can read up on these places and give me your opinions... I know that I am stabbing in the dark here... but I have got to find someone who I like and trust.
I also now have to go back to my very first doctor and get all of my records... again... which is a a huge pain in the ass. By law Dr. Untrustworthy only has to give me the records from his office even though 18 months ago I had all my previous records transferred to him in the first place. This time I will keep a copy for myself... but at the time I just had them mailed directly to Dr. Untrustworthy because I though they would get there faster... Now they are being held hostage.
When I finally get into a new doctor I plan on doing the lap if the doctor thinks I need one... but if it is just a "shot in the dark" I would rather just move to IUI.
As after as IVF's go... My husband and I do not want to do IVF... Our insurance doesn't cover it at all and I have seen way to many people on their 4th or 5th cycles and still not pg. That is fine if you are covered by insurance but at $10,000 - $15,000 a pop... we just can do that. Plus, we have never found a reason for my miscarriages... so to spend that kind of money with a high chance of losing it is something I am not ready to do.
Whoa.. second doctor just called... I am seeing them tomorrow at 4pm.
So that is where I am. Moving forward at my own pace and hopefully searching to find a doctor who cares about me as a patient and not just as a dollar sign or as a number on a lab slip.
posted by Mrs. D. @ 5/31/2006 07:04:00 AM
8 Comments:
an obgyn can claim to be a fertility specialist in most states with nothing to back that up. an re has three years of extra training on top of the obgyn plus another board certification, which is basically the bar exam for doctors.
i know you're frustrated, baby. i've been there. if you don't think tomorrow's doc is the one, for any reason, then go to the cdc website and find another to try. when i was looking for my re, i compared clinic results on the cdc website and on the resolve website. i called and made appointments with anyone who seemed worth the effort and took my insurance. no, i don't get infertility coverage either, but a good clinic wil work things around so you can get coverage for every dime you should. after my first visit with current re, i hated her. she was a bit lacking in the bedside manner. i saw her again since i could do so before i got into another clinic (damn those wait times!) and she is now Dr. Wonderful. yes, she's gruff. but i don't want a new best friend, i want a baby. and she's so close. i could never GET pregnant without their help, and now we're working to keep me that way. as a matter of fact, i'm waiting for results on bloodwork right now.
my point (after all that rambling) is that a doctor who knows what they're doing won't pussyfoot around with you, but they won't bitchslap you either. keep trying, honey. you'll find the right one. i know it.
Longtime lurker here, first time commenting.
Like the comment above, RE's perform a 3 year fellowship where they can perfect the craft so to speak. Here in NC, they focus on surgical, research and clinical aspects of infertility.
As for the second opinion...go for it. I friend of mine struggled to get pregnant only to be told she would never conceive children. She sought out a new doctor and lo' and behold she is now the proud mom of 2 boys. The funny part was, the doctor that told her she would never get pregnant and the doctor that helped her get pregnant work in the same clinic!
Both clinics you are looking into seem like fine establishments...and it turns out I actually know one of the attendings at the Dallas clinic. She performed her fellowship here at Duke. She's very nice and very professional.
Keep your options open regarding a doctor...it's your body and your choice.
Woohooo! Congrats on the quick appointment. Maybe you'll feel like you're in a little bit of control now that you are "taking charge." I know I did(btw,I actually had a list, as I tend to do, of the what-ifs and where to go from there... we strayed widely from it in the end but there WAS a list!)
Hi there!
I'm glad to hear you got in quickly...I am hoping that this summer is "the one" for us, too. We are going to try injectibles for one cycle and then move on to IUI.
I wanted to ask you if your previous Dr. charges you for your records. I am also changing doctors (Ob/Gyn) and was told I'd have to pay $25 for my records. That just seems ridiculous to me that I have to pay for information about MY body?!?!?!
Best of luck!
Good luck at your appointment. I agree with some of the other comments. If you don't feel comfortable find someone else. An RE with a proven history really made me feel comfortable. But that was just me. Sometimes, the clinics are busy because they have such a goog track record.
I also have PCOS and my insurance doesn't cover any fertility treatments. There are many clinics that are doing clinical trials and will reduce the cost or give free medication for an IVF cycle or two. I know that you are not anywhere near that stage but just something to think about. I hope you don't have to look into to that option but just wanted you to know.
Sorry, one more thing. You mentioned the dr did not give you a reason for the miscarriages. Unfortunately, women with PCOS have a higher rate of miscarriage. There are many theories, ie blood sugar etc, but no definate reason. I'm sure you know this. It would be easier if they would just tell you a definate reason.
I've been in the place you are. It's hard. Wishing you the best
How did your appointment go today? I am thinking about you!!
I think you are on the right path. If I can give you any advice from my experience it is that it is best to speed up the process as best you can with iui etc. At least that's what I've been told and what I am trying to do. It is/ has been unsuccessful so far for me but I'm hoping for the best. Take Care and I'll be reading and thinking of you.
I was just wondering how your appointment went. Thinking about you.
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