Ta*Daa!!!

Finally a picture of the refinished antique changing table. I am guessing that originally it was a buffet since the drawers have locks and the top to curved ones look like they probably stored the silverware. We bought it for $85 on Craig's List and it was in great condition. All I had to do was stain it the dark cherry color to match our bedroom furniture. Then Mr. D. and I built and stained the custom "changing table topper". You can see it in one of the pics before the stain. Finally Mr. D. purchased a new leather chair and a lamp (on a dimmer) to give a little light when we need it in the middle of the night. Maybe someday I will take a picture of how it all fits together in with our furniture... but not tonight... since the bed didn't get made today and I am about to jump in it!

Happy Inauguration Day! Such a happy day for America!

I am going to soak in a tub now... I can not tell you how sore my boobs are all of a sudden! Pumping? Herbs? What??? And there has been some very strange think yellow stuff coming out of one... (I know... TMI... but what do I do.. I have never done this before!) So the yellow stuff was thick like toothpaste and about 1/16 of an inch came out of my right breast twice... Really a small amount. It wasn't painful at all... but now 2 days later they are just really sore... like in early pregnancy... (No... I am not pregnant). Any hypothises?

A brief check in...

Check in for this week.

I did order and receive my supplemental nursing system. It came in a sterile packaging so I did not open it... I feel better having it and feel a little more "ready".

The changing table is finished and looks beautiful in or bedroom. Mr. D. added a gorgeous brown leather chair and swing arm lamp to complete the little "nook" area. We added the changing pad in a soft sand color to match our bedding and the whole look is very chic and not really "baby" at all. The only thing left is to build and stain the topper/ tray for the changing pad to sit securely in. Since one of the classes I teach is technical theatre I will probably work on this in the upcoming week while my students are working on a scene shop clean out project.

I am pumping 4 times a day now for 10 minutes each sitting and taking 3 fenugreek and 2 blessed thistle with each meal. I can feel myself getting fuller and heavier... but no action yet. I keep thinking that I have some moisture on the right side after 10 minutes at the pump... but nothing that you could even call a drop yet. Pumping is not my favorite chore... but I am committed for at least a month to see what is going to happen.

I am back at the gym and on a 1100 calorie a day diet. I have put on some weight in the last few months... (my baby weight!) and I am determined to work it off between now and April... it is like pumping... I just have to do it now for the pay-off later.

One thing that is weird... I keep having nightmares. They are about every bad thing that "could" happen in my life... my marriage falling apart, my parents becoming ill or passing away, getting fired from my job... finding out there is no money in the bank... etc... None have been directly related to Finley or the adoption... but I think all of them are caused by the anxiety of waiting and feeling so out of control right now. My stress levels feel really high and just trying to relax my shoulders and upper back is hard. It is strange to feel like everything is really ok (in reality) but to have so much inner stress that it is coming out in my muscles and my dreams. I probably need to do some yoga before bed each night.

So that is it for this week... I am getting back in the swing of things at school and trying to do everything I can to get things in order for Finley surprise arrival.

Happy New Year! (updated with pics!)

Still here... still waiting.

I have been thinking about blogging for a long time... but it is hard to feel inspired lately. The wait is getting so hard and long... it is over 8 months now. I think and wonder about Finley almost constantly. I am getting so antsy and now I understand the meaning of the old saying "so close and yet so far..." Almost everything is ready. The nursery - check, enough diapers for about a week - check, Breast pump - check, enough formula for a few days - Check, clothes - triple check. I was worried that I don't have a car seat yet but Nicole made me promise not to buy one... she swears someone will want to buy that for us and told me if Fin comes before we have one to just swing by and pick up hers on the way to Lubbock. I also need to order a supplemental nursing system which involves feeling the baby formula through a tube at the breast... maybe I will order that today. Other than that... I really should try and wait for a shower or a after she is here shower instead of spending any more $$.

The project that we are working on now is refinishing a changing table we found on Craig's List. It is actually a small antique buffet for silver and china but it is the perfect size for a custom changing table. We have stained it a dark cherry to match our bedroom furniture and now we have to put a polyurathane (sp?) sealer on it and decide on knobs.

Christmas was great! I got a ton of clothes, a few gift certificates, some smell good stuff, a beautiful lavender scarf, a gorgeous long sweater, a new green purse and an iphone. Finn made out like a bandit with some infant toys from Oompa.com, clothes for infants all the way up to 18 months, her first tricycle, a cupcake backpack, earrings, and a food processor!

So just because I am not posting doesn't mean I am not thinking of Finn... she is always there... Maybe I think about her so much that posting seems overwhelming. There is so much love here waiting for her and I know that this waiting part is the hardest part. Please continue to pray for us and Finley Elisse... and that the "phone call of our lives" comes soon!

Went shopping today at some after Christmas sales so I thought I would add to this post and share!

First, the most amazing little brown and polka dot jacket for next fall... or spring... It is 12 months... so we will see when she can wear it. Next a cute ensemble of embroidered jeans and a hippy dippy top... along with two kick choices (3M). Then, an overly expensive crocheted birdie rattle that I could not leave the store without.. ANOTHER pink sleeper :), and finally a brown floral sundress with brown mary janes (3M). Oh... I just can't wait for her to get here. It makes me so excited to find this that Mr. D. and I love for her... and yet breaks my heart a little that she is not here yet!