Need some support from my friends...

I have been patient.

I did really well until after the holidays....

Now I am super antsy and anxious... and shingle-y (it is gone now...)

But I think I have been very good about this adoption wait.

And today...
I got an email from my agency saying that it will probably be early summer before we are placed.

It just sucks.

I was really feeling like after 10 1/2 months we were almost there... like any time... jump when the phone rings... almost there.

I don't know how to do this anymore. I feel really upset and angry... not at my agency... they are great... just at... well... fate?... God?... I don't know... just... everyone.

This.
is.
NOT.
fair.

I want to cry but I can't.
I feel like a fraud.
Like it is never going to happen.

How much longer????

Help me girls... if you are still out there... listening...

Help me deal.

What the F@CK???

I have shingles!

Yeah the old person chickenpox-y polka dot nerve pain itch and burn fest!

I have a mild case... only about the size of a half dollar on my inner elbow but it is gross and I hate it!

I have been to the doctor twice already and am taking valtrex (yes... the herpes meds with the cute commercial) it is ALSO used for shingles... Anyway... I am thankful that it is a small breakout and seems to be responding well to meds... but holy shit... shingles????

The only two things that seem to cause shingles (besides the chickenpox virus hanging out in your body for years after you had the pox) is either a lower immune system or high stress levels...

Possibly adoption related anxiety???

hmmm... I wonder which one it is???