This photo is my equivalent of a positive pregnancy test result....

Do you see it???? You see it right??? After 42 days of bc pills and domperidone today was the big day! Today I ditched the bc and started pumping. This is the result of my 2nd 20 minute pumping session... you see it right??? Not just on the sides but a tiny (but VISIBLE) pool in the bottom corner... of M I L K!

Holy crap... this might work!

I am so excited!!! I feel like this is a major milestone for me!!!

So my pumping schedule is now 8-10 times a day for 20 minutes each time... whoa.. one day at a time... 6 am will be coming really early tomorrow.

I also want to thank you for all the great ideas for the Finn-ventory... If it wasn't already on the registry I added everything you suggested. So thank you for all the support and sweet words!!!

I am off to finish my glass of wine and then to bed... I have lots of milk to make!

PS... is it normal for the nipples to feel sort of bee-sting-ish... or sort of like fire at the beginning??? Yeah... you guys could have warned me about that part....

Finn-ventory

After seeing our nursery many people have said to us "well... you don't need anything... you already bought it all!" I don't really see this as true... but I do admit that since we can not bond with our baby in the belly... we have bonded through shopping... BUT... I am sure we still need stuff!!!

We are registered but I have no clue if anyone will give us a shower... (please note - adoptive parents DO still want a baby shower... come on people!) Many people think that I will want a shower after the baby is here since we are adopting... something about it being "safer" but I am really hoping for a shower before she comes so I can got get what we still need. But since the recent fall out with my bff I may be on my own...

Anyway... Here is what we have. And what I need from you my blogger friends is a list of what we need!

WHAT WE HAVE - AKA the Finn-ventory

GEAR
total nursery - all furnished
Amby bed
baby bath tub
stroller
car seat for NB (stilll need 1 car seat base)
sound machine
Dr.Browns bottles (a ton)
My breast friend nursing pillow
medela breast pump
baby food processor
Blankets - 11 recieving & 3 swaddling
formula - 4 cans or various (since we don't know what she likes... hopefully boob.)
SNS (supplemental nursing system)
lotions & potions - a TON
Diapers - 80 disposable NB
40 small g-diaper inserts (for babies 8 - 20 pounds)
7 small g-diaper covers (3 white, 3 orange, 1 pink stripe)
wipes - 2 tubs
2 nose suckers
gas drops
baby tylenol
1 toddler tricycle - from my dad :)

CLOTHING

onsies
(13) NB, (12) 3-6, (1) 6-9
sleepers
(18) NB, (1) 3-6, (1) 9-12
sleep sacks
(2)
short sleeve dresses
(21) NB, (17) 3-6, (5) 6-9, (1) 9-12
long sleeve dresses
(2) NB, (2) 3-6, (1) 6-9
sweaters
(2) NB, (5) 3-6, (1) 9-12
pants
(4) NB, (1) 3-6, (1) 6-9
short sleeve tops
(3) NB, (2) 3-6, (5) 6-9
long sleeve tops
(2) NB, (3) 3-6, (7) 6-9, (3) 9-12
socks
(17) NB
shoes
(3) NB, (2) 6-12
hats
(12) NB

ok girls... take it away...

WHAT DO WE NEED????

The view from my fridge...

Happy Easter.

An Easter tradition...

Coconut carrot cupcakes with cream cheese icing.

Recipe:

Betty Cr*cker Carrot Cake mix... make it like the box says (they oughta know right?)... If you are brave mix in the following crushed pineapple, raisins, coconut, almonds, vanilla flavoring... I added all but the pineapple this year. Bake them for 17 minutes. Let them cool completely before icing (this is a biggie people... I am 37 and I still have trouble with the "let them cool before icing part".

Use the AWESOME Betty Cr*cker cream cheese icing...mix in lots of coconut and green food coloring until it looks like a grassy gloppy mess but tastes amazing. Shovel it on the cupcakes... the sloppier you are the better it looks because it is supposed to be grass!!! Add a bunny or a chick peep and a few jelly belly's for Easter eggs and viola... you are M*rtha Stewart!

Thinking that this is our last Easter as a twosome is thrilling! I can't wait to make these next year with a baby crawling or WALKING around!

Happy Easter... please say a prayer for us today.

Spring... one step closer to "early summer"

I have finished my first 21 days of bc pills and domperidone to try to induce lactation. I have seen what should be considered "significant" breast changes" but I think I am doing to continue the bc pills for another 2 to four weeks. I am excited to begin pumping to see what will happen... but I know that I will have to commit to a very rigorous schedule (6X a day and 1X at night)... so I thought I would wait until closer to April... and closer to the end of school...


I have not heard anything from our agency... I am just holding on for dear life to the two little words "...early summer."


Things at work are starting to slow down... and each day seems twice as long as they do when I am busy. Waiting is so hard... and I just don't know how to pass the time any faster (especially without spending money!)


I have been a bit sad... I have lost a very good friend and it really just devastates me. I guess we have been growing a part for a long time... but I never would have expected that our friendship could just fade away. It is especially hard since it is right at the end stretch of our adoption journey... I could really use her right now. But it was not my choice... In fact... I told Mr. D. that I feel like I have been dumped. It is really hard to not have that one special girlfriend to talk to... and if she is still reading this... I hope she knows how much I miss her.



Since I needed a new way to spend my time I have taught myself to knit and have made several baby hats for Finny. I have a student who crochets and she taught me.... I sort of "cheat" for all of you "hard core knitters" out there... I knit on a circle loom... so I guess I am not really knitting... but the outcome is the same! I have made 7 baby caps and a great hat for Mr. D. It is fun and sort of relaxing.

Today on Oprah they had a show about the difficulties of motherhood. And everyone tels me (probably on a daily basis) how hard it is to parent and how I "have no idea" how hard it is going to be. Any time I say "yeah... I know..." or "I can imagine" they just look at me with a snotty look and say "oh no... YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!" I don't know what to say to that... I mean... I don't know what it is to be a parent... and I know it is not all "pushing around a stroller" as one particular person said behind my back... but what can I say??? I want to be a mom. I have been moving toward this moment for years and have worked very hard to get to (almost) "early summer" and now that I am almost there people (even Oprah)want to scare the crap out of me. I just wish people would just congratulate me and say they will be there to help if I need it... instead of looking at me like I am crazy to have actually signed up for this adoption thing as if I did it on a whim. And if one more person tells me I am never going to sleep again.... I get it people.

Uhm... is anyone else watching Toddlers and Tiaras? What. The. Fuck???