Happy Halloween!!!!!

Here is my very own made from scratch Halloween survey!

POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG OR YOU WILL HAVE ALL KINDS OF CREEPY SCAREY HALLOWEEN-ISH THINGS CRAWLING OVER YOU TONIGHT AT EXACTLY MIDNIGHT!!!!!

Bwahhahahahaha.......

Favorite Halloween Costume as a Kid: Snow White in kindergarten... my grandma made it and paid attention to every detail! I still have it!

Do you go out on Halloween or stay home? We stay in and make chili and wait for the millions of trick or treaters.

Funniest Costume - Probably Cruella DeVille... I made my ex be a giant dalmatian!

Ever won a costume contest? I have won two. Once I won a THOUSAND dollars in a bar for my Jackie Kennedy & JFK... it was tasteless... it involved a perfect likeness for both of us... and a head wound... a THOUSAND people! The other time was with Greg and we won $500 for Sexy Little Red and a very bare big bad wolf.

Do your pets dress up for Halloween?
duh... watch the slide show!

Are you dressing up this year? I have a fancy witches hat I will wear at school... but other than that I will just be in my Sinister Sweet Candy Factory T-shirt and an orange sweater.

Favorite Halloween Candy - Twizzlers... and anything chocolate.

Halloween Traditions?
Watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"... eating chili and frito pie!

Candy or Caramel Apples? Caramel with nuts and chocolate chips.. on yummy granny smith apples!

Do you like candy corn? No way!!!! Disgusting!

Is Halloween a major holiday at your house? Yes!!! It is probably my favorite next to Christmas.

Worst Halloween - When I was 9 my mom went religious zealot on us... instead of trick or treating we went to "Hallelujah Night" at church. We got to dress up like our favorite bible character!!! All the girls were Mary! I was Moses' sister and I carried a babydoll in a basket... no one had a clue who I was... and they wouldn't let you be any of the fun girls like Delilah or Jezibel... cause you know I would've... My brother and I still give my mom a hard time about that one.

Feel free to add to this survey... and pass it on!!!

Have a Happy Halloween!!!!
xxoo,
Jamie

cd 24

This is my 400th post.
wow.

I don't really have much to say... I have been sick with allergies / a bad cold since last Wednesday. I don't feel bad enough to stay home from work... but I have just been out of it and not able to sleep at night because of the congestion.

On Saturday my brother and I spent the day at my dad's house and visited with my aunt and uncle and my Dad and his wife. We carved pumpkins which I will "reveal" tomorrow... for those of you who are new... I am a pumpkin carving freak! You can check out the last 3 Octobers for my "work" and the work of dear Mr. D....

Sunday... I just laid around and napped.

Yesterday I went to work... blah blah blah... it is really hard to be patient with the kids when you don't feel well. Today will probably be the same... I guess if this icky-ness hangs on much longer I will need to get to a doctor.

I will be on my own tomorrow for Halloween... Mr. D. has rehearsal until 9... this stinks because Halloween is one of my favorite holidays... I love making a big pot of chili and waiting for the trick or treaters... I have all my full size candy bars ready... But it won't be the same without my hubby. My brother may be coming over and my bff and her family (if the kids get over their sickness!) This time of year in Texas is so strange... the weather is incredible... 75 and beautiful and EVERYONE is sick! I am really looking forward to the first freeze to kill off all the junk in the air.

Well that is it! I will try to have some Halloween pics for you tomorrow!

PS... I could test this weekend... but I really have no plans... not really feeling anything out of the ordinary.

cd 17

Fall is here!

We had a very busy weekend... babysitting for a friend...IUI... pet fair... museum... dinner with friends... pumpkin patch... movies... and lots of errands! I can't believe it is already Monday! Here are some fall pics for you! I am off to work!

cd 14... updated...

Saw the nurse today...

I had 2 B-I-G follies... 26 & 28.
Triggered today... the injection site is mega sore!
IUI Saturday morning at 8 AM... so much for sleeping in!

Wish us luck... here we go again.

Saturday...
IUI is done.
It kind of hurt this time... mainly the speculum positioning part...
19 million sperm and 2 eggs.
Now all we do is have more sex and then.... 2ww.

cd 12...

I feel like I haven't posted in forever... even though it has only been a week! Today is cd 12... I see the nurse on Friday cd 14 to see what has grown this month... then we will decide when to trigger (I am guessing on Sunday or Monday) and the 24 hours later... IUI #2.



I am a little embarrassed when I read my last post because the show was a huge success! The play was about a little boy who contracted the AIDS virus after a blood transfusion in 1985. The kids told his story so eloquently and with such compassion. I am so proud of them! We tied the production to a charity for local children who are infected with and affected by HIV and AIDS... our goal was to give 100% of our concessions money and accept donations... and we hope to meet our goal of $500 to donate. BUT... the play touched so many hearts that by the time we counted the money in our red collection buckets we had raised $1200! All this because of a small cast and crew doing a little show 5 times in a 100 seat Black Box theatre. I am so proud!



In other news... I got a new car this week!



My car had 99,698 miles on it and was a 1999 Hyundai Tiburon and since I got some money from an inheritance to pay off my credit card debts we decided to try to sell my car and get a new one around Christmas.... however I sent out an email at school and another teacher bought it in 24 hours for her son... So... I got to get a new car this week... a 2007 Hyundai Tucson. This picture is from a website of a light grey one but mine is a dark charcoal grey color! When it stops raining I will take a picture with it outside... but fall rainy weather hit the day I picked it up and hasn't let up.



OK... That is it! I am off to work. I will keep you posted on the folly growth on Friday!

cd 5

Today is cd 5. I will start clomid this afternoon. The plan is a 2nd IUI this month. I haven't seen my nurse for my day 2 or 3 scan because of the holiday then school things then nurse out of town... so I will go tomorrow morning at 7:30 to make sure everything looks fine to start the clomid (that I already started the day before). This period has been normal so I think that I am ok to start. I am trying again to be positive about this cycle... but I still feel a little like a deflated balloon.

My show previews tonight. The kids have worked really hard... but for some reason I am disappointed in the way the show has come out. It is just not "there" yet. I am not sure what isn't clicking and I am trying to have faith that they just need the energy that the audience brings to them. But it is a focus thing... like sometimes their faces just look blank when they are talking instead of filled with the emotion and energy that the play demands. I am using several new actors and for many this is their first time on stage... plus I have also used some that are "really dedicated" but not "really naturally talented". The process has been pleasant and painless... but I just don't feel like the show is ready today for an audience.... and that is disappointing as a director. I need to just say "it is what it is." and help them have a great experience running their show... but I feel like I was a little to hard on them last night after our final dress rehearsal and I hope I haven't taken away some of their excitement to do the show. I hope I made them feel that they can turn this show around tonight and not like it is hopeless... I guess it is the tightrope that coaches face.... Anyway... cross your fingers and wish us "break a leg!"

The next few days will be so busy... I still have a ton to do like finish the programs, hang up their headshots, get the lobby ready, get the money for the cash box... and about a million other things before tonight..... I just wanted to give a quick post to let you know we are on to IUI #2... cross you fingers for that too.

cd 36... aka... cd 1.

Updated to add... Friday -10:30 PM... talking to Mr. D.... shockingly big gush... ran to restroom... CD 1.

I am here... I am ok.

Thank you for all the kind words... it really feels nice to have so many of you out there for me when things get hard. Besides my husband, my mom, and my bff there are not any other people in my life who seem to understand how disappointing a failed iui cycle can be. So thank you.

It is cd 36 and I am still showing no signs of AF... I have retested... do we know it is a real BFN... so now we wait. After 8 months off the IF drugs my period had returned to normal and the who time without meds AF showed between cd 28 and 30. So that is frustrating. I am a little worried that I may have developed a big cyst again... since that has happened twice on clomid and I have had to go on bcp's to shrink it. So I would hope that AF shows normally in the next day or so so we can move on to iui #2.

Speaking of iui #2... the depression over not being pregnant is closely followed by the realization of the $800 - $1000 that has disappeared from my bank account. The morning after my BFN I walked around my house thinking about all the tangible things that I could have purchased with that money... things that I would still have. It is not because I would rather have "things" instead of a baby... it is because I feel like I just flushed the money down the toilet. I feel guilty about "losing" that money... in addition to the thousands... probably close to the tens of thousands that I have spent on treatments that our insurance doesn't cover over the past 5 years. I know it is not about the money when you are finally holding your baby... I am just telling you the cycle I have been in the past week. Just feeling irresponsible with money and feeling wasteful. Does everyone have these feelings?

I must add in now that I am so grateful that we have a lifestyle that allows us to have the extra money to try iui with... but we don't have so much money that it doesn't hurt to lose it. It wasn't money that took food off our table or forced us to lose a car or a house... it is from and inheritance that we recently received. An amount of money that could change our lives significantly if we were not looking at spending it all (plus some) on fertility treatments or adoption. Although this money has come at a great time for us... a time where we actually may spend it to get our family... it also makes me angry at myself that this money has to be scrimped and saved to pay for something that most women's bodies (especially meth and crack addicts and teenagers) seem to do for free. Feeling the loss of this money after one iui cycle sort of confirms that I don't know if ivf is for me. I just don't know if I can "roll the dice" on $10,000 - $12,000. Even having access to the money to do ivf doesn't make it any easier to consider taking that step... and it is not "just" the money thing... there is more that I am not sure of... but spending the money on a failed iui cycle would make me feel guilty that I blew money that my husband and I could use to make our lives better... that adoption might be a better path for us... because you actually get a baby at the end of the road... even if it is a $20,000 road. I just can imagine how I would feel after 2 failed ivf's and after blowing through a lot of money and having nothing left.

Some people might think this post is selfish... that you should be willing to do anything to have your own biological baby... But I feel it is selfish to blow money on something that has a less than 50% guarantee that you will actually get a baby in return. Would you be able to walk into a car dealership with money, hand it to them, and have a 50% chance that you will actually get a car? I don't know... these are just random things that are rattling around in my head while waiting for AF after my first failed iui.

I have a lot of thinking to do.
Thanks again for being there for me.